New Expressions for 2015 – In Response to Esquire

Do you get bored with expressions? I do. I avoid, “Awesome,” like an f-bomb. Okay. That’s not true. I occasionally f-bomb. Last year, Stacey Woods, a writer for Esquire’s Culture Blog, listed twenty-seven sayings or slang that had to go. This year she’s not messing around. She listed fifty of them!

I chose a few and came up with substitutions. I’m sure they will be the latest new expressions for 2015!

“Rockin’ out” is out.

This dog is ampin’ it with his jazz hands!

TrueGif (11)

Being “over it,” is over. Continue reading

Check Out DJ KSmash’s Latest at My Blog Share Party!

I’m kicking off another round of Use Me and Abuse Me Blog Share Days. Yep. Days. These blog hop parties always become ragers!

How does it work? Share ONE of your blog posts in the comment section and click on a few. That’s how you get this party started.

What’s the goal? If you make a connection with a new blogger, they may follow your blog.

How do you increase your chances to gain blog followers? The more you click, the more will click back to your place.

Major party foul? Don’t drop a link and then fly. You wouldn’t stop at a party, fill your bag with appetizers and leave. Sheesh!

Don’t leave Two Links or you’ll end up in my spam filter and that is so embarrassing for both of us.

KSmash LindauHow will we fill this place with new bloggers to check out? SPREAD THE WORD THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA! Post on Facebook and Tweet invitations to your friends. The more the merrier!

When leaving a comment, tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your place. (Clicking on the name above comments will teleport you to their blog.)

DJ KSmash is in the house and will drop his latest. Don’t forget to DANCE!

Offended by the Carl’s Jr. Super Bowl Ad?

While watching Good Morning America, I learned Super Bowl commercials are being leaked. One in particular has upset some people. I watched the commercial promoting Carl’s Jr.’s latest all-natural beef campaign and wondered what all the fuss was about. carl's jr

A woman strolls through a farmer’s market while men stare. She has bare shoulders and walks by strategically placed vegetables like an Austin Powers’ spoof. While passing by a table full of ice, she appears naked. When the camera pans around the table we see she is strutting through the crowd wearing a bikini top and shorts.

My first reaction? “Ha! She looks all-natural to me, alright.” As a woman with bionic or totally fake boobs after a double boobectomy, I appreciated boobs. I can’t understand why some people find this ad so offensive. They would like to see it pulled. Continue reading

Be Your Own Badass Hero

Being stuck in bed recuperating can be depressing for any Wild Rider. Foggy-headed and cooped up for days after my partial knee replacement gave me too much time to think and by that I mean feel sorry for myself. Multiply that with weaning off the Oxycodone and I had a pretty big crash.

I regretted the timing of my surgery even though the x-ray showed I walked on borrowed time. The desire to get it over with and impulsivity was a perfect combo for, “I’ll take your next available appointment!” Two weeks wasn’t long enough to prepare myself mentally. I was also dealing with the guilt of sleeping so much and not writing.

Being in great shape, I expected to exceed my doctor’s and home care physical therapist’s expectations. I’m competitive and goal-oriented. Instead, a week after surgery, I suffered a setback. My leg ballooned up with blood. I had to reduce the swelling before I could make any real improvements with mobility. (You should see my bruise. It’s amazing. It runs from my hip to the bottom of my calf. Yes. I took pictures.)

When my PT stopped by that Wednesday and told me I wouldn’t be off the walker by Friday since I seemed unstable and added I wasn’t ready to use the exercise bike, it broke me. The funk sunk in and continued to make itself comfortable the next morning.

At 10:00 AM I needed something to eat with the Ibuprofen. I pushed my walker to the top of the stairs and then gingerly lowered my foot one step at a time. I shuffled behind my other walker to the kitchen and turned on the TV. I became transfixed by an advertisement for The Hunger Games even though I’ve seen the movie and read the book. I thought, Katniss Everdeen was the ultimate badass.

Katniss_Everdeen

AND THEN IT HIT ME WITH A JOLT. “I don’t need a hero,” I said out loud, “I am my own hero. I need to fight for myself!”

Filled with hope, the corners of my mouth formed a smile. The funk lifted. Hope forced funk out of my gloomy recesses and obliterated it.

I ate my toast, took my pills, exercised at the counter, and then pushed my walker to the stairs. This time, instead of starting with my good leg and pulling my bad one up to the same step, I lifted my bad knee and walked up those freakin’ stairs like a normal person. Well, a normal person who grunts while grasping the banister.

When the PT came a few hours later, she saw a huge improvement. I graduated from the walker to a cane. YES! Then she instructed me on how to use my exercise bike.

Now all I need is a top hat.

GAME ON!

Can you pull yourself out of a funk?

Start the New Year With a Revolution!

My daughter, Courtney, noticed a few ignorant people on social media replaced New Year’s Resolutions with New Year’s Revolutions. It made me think. (Keep in mind, I’m still on Oxycodone after my surgery last Monday.) Revolutions might be a better word!

sunburst over earth

 

First of all, the Earth “revolves” around the Sun in one year’s time. The start of the New Year begins after a complete revolution.

We all want to make changes or reach goals in our lives. You don’t? Wow. Lucky you. I think the promises we make on New Year’s Eve are closer to revolutions than resolutions since they require a huge change in our lives. Oh sure. If your only goal in 2015 is to take more vacations, I wouldn’t call that a revolution. But if you want to make a lifestyle change, that my friend, will take a revolution. Continue reading

Becoming New and Improved Bionically in 2015

This photo was taken in Jackson Hole, Wyoming my senior year in college. Yep. That’s me with the bota bag. Remember those? My friend and I stayed with ski bums who worked on the mountain as ski hosts. Little did I know drinking while skiing could be a very bad idea. I would face surgery becoming even more bionic thirty years later.

Mistakes were made Jackson Hole

I thought my hairstyle was a good idea because… Continue reading

How To Go Viral On Reddit or The Ironic Complaint

The last day of 2014 was WILD. I blogged a post complaining about my year-end stats. They were identical to 2013’s. By 8:00 AM, I had 200 views. I thought the title, “I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015,” reeled them in. Nope. Someone shared an old post on Reddit and it went viral!

went viral on Reddit

Singing Happy Birthday Could Be Risky Business – $10,000 Worth, blew up. Why? That post is two years old.

I scrolled down to referrers and Reddit was at the top of the list. Reddit? I’ve never gotten a view from Reddit. When I refreshed my blog, I had over 1000 views! I freaked out and updated the post inviting new readers to my “Home” page.

From there it went to 5000 views an hour for about seven hours and then it tapered off.

You probably can’t see the computer screen with all your eye rolling. “Good for you Susie. Who freakin’ cares.”

Before you click away, read on… You want to go viral, right? Continue reading