Taking Jillian – 100 Word Flash Fiction in 3 Parts

sleepy hollow

I.

The moon, cloaked in a veil of wispy clouds, cast an unearthly glow on the wooded neighborhood park. A chill crept through Jillian’s thin costume and she picked up the pace. “Hey! Wait up!” Her older brothers had let her tag along on this eerie Halloween night. Encumbered by the long skirt tangling between her legs, she lagged behind. As the dense forest closed in, the path began to glimmer like an oily snake coiled out in front of her. Finally, she emerged from the dense pine forest and found herself alone in the village cemetery.

“I should have known.”

II.

Gravestones appeared like ghosts gliding upward from decomposing bodies. Polished white marble statues of angels and saints with maniacal expressions towered over her waiting to pounce. A black shadow swooped across the path with the beating of huge wings. Jillian’s little heart pounded as she gathered up her skirt and began to sprint. Her lungs burned with the strain of sucking in icy air. She rounded the corner near an ornate crypt and slipped on oak leaves collecting between markers. Tumbling to the ground her head struck the edge of a cracked granite gravestone. Her knees buckled. Everything went black.

III.

Searing pain like a hot poker pierced Jillian’s forehead and an earthy smell filled her nostrils. Opening up her eyes, the surrounding tombstones now looked iridescent. A thick blanket of fog lay all around the graves moving like waves in a tumultuous ocean. An ethereal figure floated towards her and she stepped backward. With a gentle voice it whispered, “Come with me my dear.”

She spun around to feet pounding on the gravel path. Her brothers bent over the granite stone.

“I’m here!” she cried to her brothers.

She rushed up to them and saw herself sprawled out on the frozen ground.

 Have you ever been in a cemetery at night?

Have you know anyone who had an out-of-body experience?

Photo by S. Lindau 

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34 Comments

Filed under Fiction

34 responses to “Taking Jillian – 100 Word Flash Fiction in 3 Parts

  1. This is your light hearted look at life? Dang, I’d hate to see you riled up. hehehe Great little Hallowe’en story.

  2. Anonymous

    Oh yeah very spooky! Great descriptive writing!

  3. John Hardy Bell

    Scared now! You seem to do this to me every week, Susie! My biggest mistake was reading this one at night!

    You have a real gift!

  4. You get such a clear image of what everything looks like in these stories. The ending pulled them together nicely. :)

    And for your two questions at the end: nope and nope. I hope not to get caught in a cemetery at night, heh, though I imagine hearing about an out-of-body experience would be pretty neat!

    • Thanks Tiyana that is my goal every week so I appreciate your compliment very much!
      There have been several comments about the out-of-body ex. and maybe they will write about it some day!!!

  5. Love the flash fiction idea, and the great visuals you created in the story. I have indeed been in many cemeteries at night, (Big Bauhaus fan as a teen) and Yes ,I have actually had an out of body experience, not really all that fun.
    Great read, thanks.

    • Thanks so much! I would like to take some pictures of one not far away. I will have to wait for a moonlit night!
      I would imagine the conditions that would bring on an out-of-body experience could be frightening….

  6. Dear Susie,

    Loved your story. Reminded me that Halloween ins coming. Is she dead or just talking with spirits while unconscious? The vibe I get is that she’s dead, which is a definite out of body experience. (I’ve had two of them, to answer one of the questions beneath your post.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Thank you Doug!
      I left it up to the reader. I thought she may come back to the living after having an out-of-body experience.
      How very cool! It was risky to write OOBE about since I have never experienced one.
      You should write about yours!

      • Hi again, Susie,

        I may one day, but it was so powerful that I feel I’d be betraying the lesson I learned there. Perhaps when I’m closer to the end of this life.

        D.

  7. great story and cool pictures–totally spooky. Reminded me of a favorite Dr. Who episode with weeping angels.

  8. soesposito

    Fabulous descriptions…my favorite kind of story. Creep factor 10!

  9. Madison Woods

    Very spooky! Disturbing, too. I found my heart pounding along with the rythym of this piece.

    Never had an out-of-body experience, but I imagine it to be quite like you’ve described.

  10. Spooktacular! I wanna do some Halloween stuff! I think you just inspired me.

    Really great!

    In New Orleans I went to lots if cemeteries at night. I would not recommend this.

    • Thanks Renee!
      New Orleans cemeteries are notoriously haunted…..I would love to go!!! BTW You should check out my last post to get you in the mood!! It is all about our Halloween tradition. – Getting into Character

  11. After reading this, I believe I will stay out of cemeteries on Halloween night. Yikes. Spooky!

  12. Wow — I’m looking forward to some more Halloween-inspired pieces from you, this is great and I love each flash building the momentum.

  13. Thanks JJ! I am going to stay in the Halloween theme for the month of October!

  14. OOooo Creepy and spooky. Very nice =)

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