Lingering Soul – 150 Word Flash Fiction

The snow struck the paned windows in continuous blows. Lizbeth planned to finish her novel before the holidays and would stay the week.

“I’d like to rent the Hartman cottage.” The agent had gawked at her choice.

“Did something happen?” Lizbeth quickly dismissed the thought.

Latex paint lingered in the air. Something about the new overstuffed floral sofas and matching curtains seemed “off.”

As she padded into the bedroom, a floor board sprung back. “What are you hiding?”

She stooped and ran her fingers along the hickory plank then pried it up. An old pink diary laid on the dusty underlayment.

Her heart pounded as she unsnapped the clasp and flipped to the last page. In red ink it said, “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” Then the lights went out.

 ~~~

“Did you know her?” asked the sheriff.

“We met when she rented the Hartman place. I should’ve warned her.”

“What a mess.”

Have you ever gone on vacation and rented a place that gave you the creeps? 

If you liked this one, you may enjoy this!

Check out Madison Wood’s blog for more 100 word flash fiction

~

Photo by R. Woods

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About susielindau

I am a Boulder, Colorado writer and artist who loves adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride!
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30 Responses to Lingering Soul – 150 Word Flash Fiction

  1. susielindau says:

    Thanks for coming by! Thanks!
    Don’t ever worry about similarities sometimes they will happen…

    Like

  2. Robin Hawke says:

    This is the second week in a row I’ve discovered another flash fiction piece that took the same idea I had and ran with it. It’s giving me a sinking feeling. I promise, I don’t read the other entries until mine is written. Like you, NaNo is one my brain and I think about holing up.

    I love the contrast you create in your story between the weather and the flowered curtains. Robin

    Like

  3. EllieAnn says:

    YIKES!!
    Another great creepy flash fiction, Susie.

    Like

  4. susielindau says:

    Thank you so much for stopping by to read! I appreciate your comment. Thanks!

    Like

  5. The Hook says:

    Very compelling piece. Nicely conveyed.

    Like

  6. Sheilagh Lee says:

    Great take on the prompt.love your story.

    Like

  7. susielindau says:

    I love it! So true! Hahaha! I will stop over to read~

    Like

  8. kbnelson says:

    And let that be a lesson to all snoopers everywhere! Stay out of my journal!
    Thanks, and here’s my (tardy) offering:

    http://wp.me/p1MNJe-bf

    Karen

    Like

  9. Michelle D Keyes says:

    Wow! I love how you pulled this story off. It left me tantalized and craving more reads like this. Just wish I knew what happened but with the word count constraints, it’s not exactly possible.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks Michelle! I know what you mean and as it was I went over by 50 words. Next time when the story really calls for more description I think I will go for it. and go to a 200 word total….

      Like

  10. Madison Woods says:

    Eeewww! OMG you are worse than me for writing dark, LoL! Now I’d like to know the rest of what the diary said.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Seriously!
      I think since I am writing a lparanormal fiction thriller novel, I will stay on the same ghostly theme, but maybe lighten up a bit. We’ll see. I sure love writing the darker ones….

      Like

  11. Caely says:

    Captivating! And very much impressive for a 100 word story. Keep it up!

    Like

  12. Ha! Pretty amazing for 100 words. Creepy.

    Like

  13. Anonymous says:

    Great little suspense tale. I agree with K.D., I’d like to see it turn into a short story.

    Like

  14. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Susie,

    A lovely, tight little story. Spooky and mysterious. One comment, a niggling thing: I don’t think a choice can be gawked at in the way you wrote it. I think I know what you meant but….
    Also, and this is just an impression, I don’t think you needed the quotation marks for the word “off”. It read quite well without them.

    Good job. (Let me know if you don’t want the above comments in my comments, okay? Thanks.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks Doug for reading and your constructive criticism. The idea was that a lot had happened there and the agent wanted to say something but didn’t. It’s hard with so few words~ : )

      Like

  15. Anonymous says:

    Yikes. I like that the diary was pink.

    Like

  16. “Please sir, I want some more.” Nice start, I would have liked to see a little more followup to the diary scene.

    Like

  17. K.D. McCrite says:

    Well, now that was just plain creepy. If you were to take this snippet and fill in some detail, you’d have a great little short story. *shivery*

    Here’s my uncreepy story: http://sweettea.kdmccrite.com/flash-fiction-3/bad-timing-flash-fiction-110411/

    Like

  18. Jan Morrill says:

    Good one, Susie. A lot of story in just a few words. I’m always drawn to stories about diaries. :)

    Like

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