An Evening Swim – 100 Word Flash Fiction

She dipped her toe into the placid lake, then stepped in and submerged herself. Her body slid through the water like oil. The cold penetrated her bones the farther out she swam. Storm clouds gathered overhead and rain began to patter. She turned around while slicing through the tranquil surface. Her stomach rumbled. Something moved along the edge of the forest. She sunk back down into the lake and waited.

She lunged at the unsuspecting creature and snapped. After thrashing for a short time, it went limp. As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.

~~~

Can you guess which animal took the evening swim?

Have you ever been afraid to go into the water?

 

For more 100 word flash fictions check out Madison Wood’s blog

 

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89 Comments

Filed under Fiction, Humor

89 responses to “An Evening Swim – 100 Word Flash Fiction

  1. it’s a croc, I honestly afraid in water when I was a kid but when I get older I became a beach lover …

  2. Kenneth Pennington

    I thought a crocodile would be the winner. I thought perhaps a cattle egret landed nearby,

  3. miq

    I love that it was about a crocodile but lots of the description could be said about a woman. It really personified the crocodile without insulting the reader.

    Here’s mine:
    http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/flash-fiction-4/

  4. I enjoyed this piece. Nice twist!

    I was a kid when Jaws came out, so I was afraid of the water for a while.

  5. I loved that song! It was a pleasant surprise.

  6. I guessed wrong…didn’t think Croc, as the cypress knee swamp picture you posted looks like my back yard…or very close proximity, anyway, and we have gators round here.
    Bless You
    paul

    • Either one is right! I wasn’t specific in my mind when I wrote it and I found the photo afterward. If you would have guessed little bunny, then I would have to say, “WRONG!” Hahaha!

  7. Sooo good! I didn’t see that ending coming. Nicely done ;)

  8. Yikes! By the time I realised what she was, it was too late!
    Nice and snappy, Susie! (Sorry, couldn’t resist! :D)

  9. Nothing like a dainty croc dipping her toe in the lake. Great stuff.

  10. Beautiful writing, and yes I guessed a crocodile, but only at the last moments.

    for mine:
    http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/flash-friday-soupe-du-jour/

  11. Nice way to nail the unsuspecting creature… I mean reader!

  12. Brilliant and in 100 words to boot! I am staying on dry land now

  13. I read this differently than everyone else did. I do LOVE that it was a croc, but all the way though, I imagined a female creature.

    Well done!

    The link to my drabble isL http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/white-rot/

  14. I would be reluctant to venture into uncharted waters. Thanks for using “she” to narrate the creature. :) “As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.” Like that. I guess another shade of beauty, I am sure August will appreciate that too!

  15. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    100 words is, to me, a challenge. You really whipped up something real in that short length. Excellent :)

    • Oh that is so nice of you to say Words! I appreciate that. I love writing these since I never know how they are going to end until the last sentence just pops into my head!
      Thank you for coming by to read.

  16. A huge alligator :O) Great story; thanks for sharing!

  17. A story with real bite! Enjoyed it. (gotta love those gators)

  18. I had a feeling something like that was coming. LOL I have come to expect these little twists from you my dear. Well done! :D

  19. lynnkelleyauthor

    That’s a great piece of flash fiction, Susie. Alligator or crock? I saw Jaws when it first came out, and it really spooked me! Still does!

    • Thank you so much Lynn! Take your pick.
      I got a huge bruise on my leg from kicking the seat ahead of me when I saw Jaws in the theater. Hahaha! The guy ahead of me wasn’t too happy….

  20. Madison Woods

    As the story started I started thinking that she’d better watch out. The prompt didn’t give me the impression I’d want to swim in that water! Haha, so it was a cute surprise when I found out who was doing the swimming ;)

  21. Hi,
    A great story, well done.
    We have plenty of fresh water and salt water crocs, mostly in Northern Australia, there are signs warning people about them. Stick to the pool it is safer. :D

  22. Russell

    Beautifully written, Susie. I can just hear the jaws snap shut and see the blood dripping from the corner of that toothy grin.

  23. I was thinking it was a Deinosuchus. Which is extinct, but was an alligator, so I was close.

    Nice job, like the way you toyed with us! Almost like a predator toying with its prey. Long as the animal on the bank wasn’t Bridget Fonda, you’re in my cool book.

    Here’s my slightly late entry:
    http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/loose-lips-100-word-flash-fiction/

  24. I’d guess Alligator. As for being afraid to go into the water, well I’m not a strong swimmer to begin with. However, growing up down at the shore we would occasionally get lots of jellyfish. That always freaked me out for some reason.

  25. Nope. It’s a crocodile. Thanks for stopping by!

  26. A very sly Florida gator, reason why I do not go into the rivers or canals around here. Although…they’ve also been known to show their teeth out on the golf courses. LOL

    • That is so true! It happened to some friends of mine when we traveled to South Carolina to Hilton Head! They left their ball and played through! Scary!
      Thanks for coming by Marcia!

  27. Thanks for the literary interlude, Susie!

  28. Well, I made a nice long reply and then it vanished. I’ll try again. I love to swim at night and could relate to the what your character was feeling. Then…her stomach grumbled and I wondered if we were talking about a human at all. (I guess otter…)

    ~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

  29. Crocodiles in fresh or swamps,sharks in oceans,pirahnas 3D in virtual
    damn they do want us to live fear less :lol:
    I love swimming riers,oceans…and have not met with those hungry creatures yet..

  30. What throws me is the toe. So the swimmer is human?

    Mine’s at http://furiousfictions.com

    Also check out a new story by Cheryl Anne Gardner in today’s Furious Fictions: http://furiousfictions.blogspot.com/2012/02/corpus-safari-cheryl-anne-gardner.html

  31. Melinda VanLone

    Well I wasn’t afraid to go in the water before I read this! lol. Now…yeah, maybe I’ll stick to the bathtub.

  32. Awesome story. Crocodile I’m guessing. And I love that picture!

  33. Oh I love it! Great job. That transition from a sense of humanness — slipping her foot into the water to the snap of the jaws around an unsuspecting creature — is magnificent.

    Thanks for sharing! Here’s mine: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/trip-99/

  34. Not afraid of water around these parts… you couldn’t pay me enough to go in say… Florida water.

  35. Swimming is not my strong suit (that’s putting it lightly LOL), but your tale makes it sound like a wonderful dream. Nice work!

  36. Loved this!! I was imaging myself or another person swimming… what a twist at the end!! I couldn’t watch the video… everyone’s still sleeping!!

  37. I do not do water for the same reason you wrote this story. Animals creatures you name it in that water..
    Gobble Gobble hahahah
    HUGGGGGG

  38. Crocodile! I love your writing style! Yep, a few weeks ago I was terrified to go too deep into the ocean at the Gold Coast. Apparently the sharks there can come up at waist height! :S

  39. I thought it was a person until the “sunk in the water” line,.Nicely done.

  40. Thanks! I hope everyone one guesses what animal really took that evening swim……………………

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