An Evening Swim – 100 Word Flash Fiction

She dipped her toe into the placid lake, then stepped in and submerged herself. Her body slid through the water like oil. The cold penetrated her bones the farther out she swam. Storm clouds gathered overhead and rain began to patter. She turned around while slicing through the tranquil surface. Her stomach rumbled. Something moved along the edge of the forest. She sunk back down into the lake and waited.

She lunged at the unsuspecting creature and snapped. After thrashing for a short time, it went limp. As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.

~~~

Can you guess which animal took the evening swim?

Have you ever been afraid to go into the water?

 

For more 100 word flash fictions check out Madison Wood’s blog

 

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About Susie Lindau

I am a Boulder, Colorado writer and artist who loves adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride!
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89 Responses to An Evening Swim – 100 Word Flash Fiction

  1. willofheart says:

    it’s a croc, I honestly afraid in water when I was a kid but when I get older I became a beach lover …

    Like

  2. Kenneth Pennington says:

    I thought a crocodile would be the winner. I thought perhaps a cattle egret landed nearby,

    Like

  3. miq says:

    I love that it was about a crocodile but lots of the description could be said about a woman. It really personified the crocodile without insulting the reader.

    Here’s mine:

    http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/flash-fiction-4/

    Like

  4. I enjoyed this piece. Nice twist!

    I was a kid when Jaws came out, so I was afraid of the water for a while.

    Like

  5. I loved that song! It was a pleasant surprise.

    Like

  6. sonsothunder says:

    I guessed wrong…didn’t think Croc, as the cypress knee swamp picture you posted looks like my back yard…or very close proximity, anyway, and we have gators round here.
    Bless You
    paul

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Either one is right! I wasn’t specific in my mind when I wrote it and I found the photo afterward. If you would have guessed little bunny, then I would have to say, “WRONG!” Hahaha!

      Like

  7. Elisa says:

    Sooo good! I didn’t see that ending coming. Nicely done ;)

    Like

  8. Yikes! By the time I realised what she was, it was too late!
    Nice and snappy, Susie! (Sorry, couldn’t resist! :D)

    Like

  9. Nothing like a dainty croc dipping her toe in the lake. Great stuff.

    Like

  10. Judee says:

    Beautiful writing, and yes I guessed a crocodile, but only at the last moments.

    for mine:

    http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/flash-friday-soupe-du-jour/

    Like

  11. Norv says:

    Nice way to nail the unsuspecting creature… I mean reader!

    Like

  12. chrissie says:

    Brilliant and in 100 words to boot! I am staying on dry land now

    Like

  13. Quill Shiv says:

    I read this differently than everyone else did. I do LOVE that it was a croc, but all the way though, I imagined a female creature.

    Well done!

    The link to my drabble isL http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/white-rot/

    Like

  14. Yatin says:

    I would be reluctant to venture into uncharted waters. Thanks for using “she” to narrate the creature. :) “As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.” Like that. I guess another shade of beauty, I am sure August will appreciate that too!

    Like

  15. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    100 words is, to me, a challenge. You really whipped up something real in that short length. Excellent :)

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Oh that is so nice of you to say Words! I appreciate that. I love writing these since I never know how they are going to end until the last sentence just pops into my head!
      Thank you for coming by to read.

      Like

  16. madamsnowgal says:

    A huge alligator :O) Great story; thanks for sharing!

    Like

  17. A story with real bite! Enjoyed it. (gotta love those gators)

    Like

  18. Debra Kristi says:

    I had a feeling something like that was coming. LOL I have come to expect these little twists from you my dear. Well done! :D

    Like

  19. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    That’s a great piece of flash fiction, Susie. Alligator or crock? I saw Jaws when it first came out, and it really spooked me! Still does!

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thank you so much Lynn! Take your pick.
      I got a huge bruise on my leg from kicking the seat ahead of me when I saw Jaws in the theater. Hahaha! The guy ahead of me wasn’t too happy….

      Like

  20. Madison Woods says:

    As the story started I started thinking that she’d better watch out. The prompt didn’t give me the impression I’d want to swim in that water! Haha, so it was a cute surprise when I found out who was doing the swimming ;)

    Like

  21. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    A great story, well done.
    We have plenty of fresh water and salt water crocs, mostly in Northern Australia, there are signs warning people about them. Stick to the pool it is safer. :D

    Like

  22. Russell says:

    Beautifully written, Susie. I can just hear the jaws snap shut and see the blood dripping from the corner of that toothy grin.

    Like

  23. Jake Kale says:

    I was thinking it was a Deinosuchus. Which is extinct, but was an alligator, so I was close.

    Nice job, like the way you toyed with us! Almost like a predator toying with its prey. Long as the animal on the bank wasn’t Bridget Fonda, you’re in my cool book.

    Here’s my slightly late entry:

    http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/loose-lips-100-word-flash-fiction/

    Like

  24. I’d guess Alligator. As for being afraid to go into the water, well I’m not a strong swimmer to begin with. However, growing up down at the shore we would occasionally get lots of jellyfish. That always freaked me out for some reason.

    Like

  25. susielindau says:

    Nope. It’s a crocodile. Thanks for stopping by!

    Like

  26. A very sly Florida gator, reason why I do not go into the rivers or canals around here. Although…they’ve also been known to show their teeth out on the golf courses. LOL

    Like

  27. The Hook says:

    Thanks for the literary interlude, Susie!

    Like

  28. Susan says:

    Well, I made a nice long reply and then it vanished. I’ll try again. I love to swim at night and could relate to the what your character was feeling. Then…her stomach grumbled and I wondered if we were talking about a human at all. (I guess otter…)

    ~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

    Like

  29. Crocodiles in fresh or swamps,sharks in oceans,pirahnas 3D in virtual
    damn they do want us to live fear less :lol:
    I love swimming riers,oceans…and have not met with those hungry creatures yet..

    Like

  30. Joe Lerner says:

    What throws me is the toe. So the swimmer is human?

    Mine’s at http://furiousfictions.com

    Also check out a new story by Cheryl Anne Gardner in today’s Furious Fictions: http://furiousfictions.blogspot.com/2012/02/corpus-safari-cheryl-anne-gardner.html

    Like

  31. Melinda VanLone says:

    Well I wasn’t afraid to go in the water before I read this! lol. Now…yeah, maybe I’ll stick to the bathtub.

    Like

  32. Awesome story. Crocodile I’m guessing. And I love that picture!

    Like

  33. The Lime says:

    Oh I love it! Great job. That transition from a sense of humanness — slipping her foot into the water to the snap of the jaws around an unsuspecting creature — is magnificent.

    Thanks for sharing! Here’s mine: http://thecolorlime.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/trip-99/

    Like

  34. nelle says:

    Not afraid of water around these parts… you couldn’t pay me enough to go in say… Florida water.

    Like

  35. Swimming is not my strong suit (that’s putting it lightly LOL), but your tale makes it sound like a wonderful dream. Nice work!

    Like

  36. Loved this!! I was imaging myself or another person swimming… what a twist at the end!! I couldn’t watch the video… everyone’s still sleeping!!

    Like

  37. I do not do water for the same reason you wrote this story. Animals creatures you name it in that water..
    Gobble Gobble hahahah
    HUGGGGGG

    Like

  38. Did she bag Newt Gingrich?

    Like

  39. Maria says:

    Crocodile! I love your writing style! Yep, a few weeks ago I was terrified to go too deep into the ocean at the Gold Coast. Apparently the sharks there can come up at waist height! :S

    Like

  40. I thought it was a person until the “sunk in the water” line,.Nicely done.

    Like

  41. susielindau says:

    Thanks! I hope everyone one guesses what animal really took that evening swim……………………

    Like

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