I remember my 
worst Valentine’s Day ever in Madison, Wisconsin as cold, damp and wintery. The night before, I decorated my shoe box with construction paper hearts, rick rack, and sequins much like the other girls in my 5th grade class. My mother had bought paper valentines which I signed, picking the best ones for my closest friends and a boy that I liked.
Earlier that year, a few of us had been switched from one classroom to another. After taking my seat, I noticed a dreamy-eyed, brown haired boy named Bob sitting at the desk in front of me. He must have noticed me too because later in the week, he turned around and asked, “Hey. Do you want this?” He referred to a new invention at the time, the mechanical pencil.
“Oh. That must have been expensive! I better not.” I realized that my reaction was a mistake when I saw his crestfallen expression.
One of the more experienced girls in the class, Ellen, who had been rumored to have kissed several boys said, “Susie. I think he bought it for you.”
It was too late. The moment was over, but the attraction continued.
Our house was kitty corner from the school parking lot which also served as the playground. Our kitchen gave me ample opportunity to gaze out the window to watch the kids walking home from school. I was usually home before most of them. After class that day, my heart leapt when I noticed Bob walking by my house on the opposite side of the street. I couldn’t believe my luck. “He must live nearby,” I thought.
During those few months leading up to Valentine’s Day, we often exchanged glances and then quickly looked away.
When the day arrived, I was giddy with excitement. We passed out our Valentine cards, placing them into the slots of the makeshift mail boxes we had made. I couldn’t wait to see what Bob gave me. I fanaticized that that he would pick out a card with a gorgeous red heart and would sign it, “Love, Bob.”
The recess bell rang before we could open our envelopes. We formed a line and exploded onto the playground. I’m sure our teacher hoped we would work off some of that pent up energy.
I was playing tag with the girls when Bob’s friend Kevin sauntered up.
“Bob wants to go out with you,” he shouted so everyone could hear.
I felt my cheeks burn and imagined they matched some of the scarlet wool sweaters my classmates wore for the occasion. I turned to my girlfriends who begged me to say yes. “Okay,” I responded, feeling all at once a little bit older. News of our declared relationship flew around recess like a blizzard and soon everyone swirled around us. Bob who was on the opposite side of the playground from me, disappeared as the boys encircled him. All of the girls spun around me in a frenzy of attention and for a few minutes I was the most popular girl in the class.
As soon as my heart had begun soaring, it plummeted back down to earth when I looked over and saw the throng around Bob had begun to push him towards me to give me a kiss. My stomach flipped. They chanted in unison, “Now we know!”
Without asking anyone for emergency advice, I said to one of my new minions, “Tell Bob I want to break up with him.” Right after my messenger left my side, the bell rang. The storm subsided and everyone ran back inside the school. Bob wouldn’t look at me. I blinked back tears. When I slunk back into the classroom, Ellen turned toward me and with an eye roll, said it all. I was such a loser. Greater than my fantasy Valentine card, Bob had put his heart out there for me and I had stepped on it.
Even though I felt like I didn’t deserve it, I looked forward to seeing which card he had picked out for me. When I opened up it up, I realized that like most of the boys, he hadn’t personally addressed one to me. My heart sank again. He had slipped his generic Valentine into the slot of my box knowing that he would declare his love during recess.
The rest of the day crept by. I wanted the interminable school day to end. I was glad it was Friday and I wouldn’t have to face my classmates again for a couple days.
When I arrived home from school, I burst into tears.
“What’s the matter?’ My mom asked.
Between sobs, I explained and then glanced outside. Bob ran by my house, but this time with his head down. It was over. Never again would he speak to me even though I often gazed at him through my kitchen window.
Our love affair had lasted less than one recess and it would be years before I would have another, but I have to admit that ever since the 5th grade, I have had a fondness for mechanical pencils.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Do you have a Valentine’s Day story?
Do you look forward to it or dread it?
I’m late on this one but it’s timeless! Memories!!! Thanks for bringing young love and heartache flooding back. You’re a wonderful storyteller! Looking forward to reading more
Thanks Stephanie! That means a lot to me!
Welcome Susie!
Quite Charming Susie and reminds me of my own personal story about a ginger haired boy and an Airfix model airplane kit. Years later we were to meet briefly on the street where I lived and even then, my heart did a back flip when he smiled at me.
Talia.
Isn’t it amazing how we make those connections? I think he really felt off 30 years later when I saw him with his wife. He never looked me in the eye. It was still so awkward for him! Hahaha!
Thanks Talia!
Poor Guy! And once more I am laughing.
Take Care Susie, may your life be filled with amusing moments such as this.
And he still had the same baby face and puppy dog eyes! Hahaha!
I hope this Valentine’s Day was infinitely more pleasant than that mythic one of yore! Happy belated V-Day.
Kathryn
It was! Hahaha! I hope you had a wonderful day as well!
That was charming, Susie, and so very well written.
Thank you Ray! That really means a lot to me knowing that you are an editor and are paid to critique and tweak!
A nice read, I find this…this is the story of first love and their broken promises. I love this and imma gonna follow your blog, forevermore! You may find my Valentine’s view at http://www.seewilliams.wordpress.com. Thanks!
Thanks Charles! I am glad it struck a chord with you.
Smiles! The crowd really has a way of increasing tension and pressure in issues like these. Growing up is a process and it is such experiences as these that eventually affect our disposition towards relationships and influence our strategies as we grow. Nice piece! The thought of mechanical pencils now makes me smile too. Love your story or should I say your story telling! Smiles once again!
There is nothing like having an audience when you are really embarrassed. You are right and it was a long time before I felt comfortable around boys!
Thanks!
Great story. I also feel like a company could get a good mechanical pencil commercial out of this, provided the boy in the commercial made it much more obvious that the pencil was, in fact, for the girl and not a random writing instrument he had found and/or stolen.
Thanks Nathan. So true. It did add to my confusion! Hahaha!.
I hope you were able to dig out of all that snow….
I’ll think of you every time the lead in my mechanical pencil breaks.
That happens a lot to mechanical pencils! Hahaha!
Somehow you were in my spam file along with comments like, “very doubtful article is useful information.”
Aw, poor Bob! Poor young Susie! What a sweet tale of star-crossed lovers. Or would that be recess-crossed lovers?
We were romantically challenged that’s for sure! Hahaha!
Thanks for sharing this enjoyable read Susie, I enjoyed it
Thanks Rich! I was hoping I could pass along a giggle at the expense of my very young self….
The awkward preteen stage! Wow! I can relate so well.
Thanks Stephy! It got a little easier in high school, but not much! Oh the tales I could tell….Hahaha!
Oh, Susie, what a perfect memory for Valentine’s Day! It brought back a few of mine. I think romance is always exactly like this.. lots of confusion, fear, hope and, sadly, sometimes a broken heart or two. Happy Valentine’s Day!!
I am glad you could relate to the drama of that first romance. Even if it only lasted for a few short minutes during recess. Hahaha! Thanks for stopping by to read Smidgen! Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Recess.. then Junior High.. then Senior.. then University.. then.. ahhh.. love can be a long road;) You are always welcome, Susie, I love visiting here!
Absolutely love your work – evoked a double-wammy of emotions. Ah, those formative years.
Thank you Neville! It is amazing that any of us survive all the humiliation. Hahaha!
I’m stopping by to thank you for the comment you left on my “freshly pressed” Valentine’s Day post a couple of days ago. I’m glad I did because I enjoyed your Valentine’s Day story as well
I am so glad you did Eds hunny bunny. Thank you!
Happy Valentines
Awww! Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Great entry in the celebration of all hearts
I really enjoyed this story! I love the way Bob brought up the pencil, “Hey, do you want this?” LoL.
That’s exactly the way he said it. At first I thought that he had found it on the floor! Hahaha!
Thanks Ellie!
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Bob’s loss Susie.
Thanks Ginger! Hahaha!
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Oh my goodness, Susie, what a heartbreak. If we only knew then what we didn’t know then. Growing up is so painful, especially when our friends put us on the spot.
Thanks for sharing your story. I enjoyed it do much!
That is so true. It was a lot of pressure. If the boys hadn’t pushed him, we might have “gone out” until the end of the day! Hahaha!
Thanks Sheila!
Oh, what a sweet story. Took me back to those awkward days! I really enjoyed this, Susie!
I think we all have a story like this one and then there are all the unrequited love stories! Hahaha! Thank you so much Lynn!
Awww, so sweet and sad. I wonder how many romances have begun with a mechanical pencil.
Hahaha! I bet there aren’t many! Thanks for reading Theresa.
Loved the read! I also shared it with everyone on Google+… hope you don’t mind too much
Patricia Carrigan
Author Antiserum
Thank you so much Patricia! That is awesome!
Hi,
I loved the story, so very well written I could picture it all happening in front of me. We never forget our first love.
Thank you so much Mags. That is so true that we never forget! I wonder if Bob remembers……; )
I always felt invisible at school particularly when it came to the girls that I fancied, they never really talked, or took any interest in myself until one day I had a sleek new haircut and must admit I felt a bit special, as you mostly do after a haircut, and everything changed, these girls started to converse with me, sit next to me, there were smiles, giggles, notes passed around and generally I was this popular classmate. But alas I was still the same person as I was before my haircut and I struggled to comprehend how my status could change after a simple haircut, so what to do, I essentially ignored these people as it was insulting for me to be treated different because of my looks, people are fickle and school children more so and throughout my life I have always tried to ignore others looks, I do understand something attractive leaves a pleasing feeling behind, but for me on Valentine’s Day it’s about the beauty from within that is key, and mostly I’m drawn to people who love themselves first and foremost with or without any Valentine in their life.
i wonder if the reason they were attracted was not the haircut, but the newly found confidence.
Beauty from within is key!
Thanks for the story Andrew!
Yes, your right it’s about being confident in your own skin, and therefore you carry yourself around differently and this become the attraction. enjoyed the blogs, good work.
That is a trick, especially at a young age. Thanks!
Susie, when I was reading this post, all I could see in my mind’s eye was the movie Grease for some reason (I have strange images that come to me every now and then!). I don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s myself (although I’m really trying with it on my blog this year!) so something similar must have happened to me when I was at school and I was so traumatised by it I must have blanked it out. Not that Bob was probably traumatised or anything. But he may have been. Erm…
Great post! Fun read!
Bob! Is that you????? Hahahaha!
I think we all must have one of “those” early relationships tucked away in the old memory banks.
Thanks Tom!
Awesome Valentines Day post, Susie – gosh, I just love reading your stories – I never know where you’re going to take me, but I love being along for the wild rides! Well done, I loved this … young love, isn’t it grand? LOL! ~ Julie
Isn’t it great when we can look back and see the humor in our darkest memories! Hahaha!
Thank you so much Julie. I am glad you are enjoying the ride!
Susie, you were mean! I wish the boy I liked at school acknowledged my existence, but he never did. Loser!
I was hardly mean. I was very young…..
It probably occurred to the boy you liked many years later.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I was right there on the playground with you Susie–you tell a great story!
It is so weird how vividly I remember that day. It traumatized me to do that to a boy that I liked. Thanks Coleen!
Aw…. Heart ache starts so young, right? Such a touching story. I hope parents of young tender-hearts find this in time for impending disasters.
Hahaha! You are right. I bet this still happens every Valentine’s Day!
Thanks August!
Girls are so mean. Poor Bob. I got along fine with girls as classmates, but as soon as I thought about one as a dating prospect I ran the other direction.
You must have overcome your fear of dating at some point David! Good thing~
I used to tell my kids that if someone from the opposite sex was mean to them, it meant that they “liked” them. I remember the confused looks on their faces….Hahaha!
Thanks!
Raymundo handed me a crumbled, quasi-folded small piece of paper as our 4th grade class filed out to the playground. Ray was the shyest boy in our class…and, until that moment, I didn’t even know he could write.
I unfolded the note. In very large penciled lower case letters it said,
“i love you.”
I looked up and to my horror he was standing next to me. Smiling. Waiting.
So. I gathered all my 4th grade girlie social skills together and…hit him.
The end.
Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha!
What a great story. Thanks for sharing~
Obviously my pain and anguish over this 4th grade physical violence, and especially from me…is still too much to bare. I had to tell you not once, but twice, which makes me seen twice as violent…which I’m not. (See small print disclaimer on Physical Violence para. on birth certificate. Attached.)
Although I do feel much better having repeated myself, be assured I’m over that 4th grade experience. I’ve moved on.
However….this repeated telling experience has brought clarity. Perhaps we ALL should tell our stories twice…in a row?
Move over Dr. Phil.
Perhaps not.
I really wish I couldn’t identify with this story as much as I do. I was in the sixth grade when I found out a girl in my class liked me–the prettiest girl in class, no less. I was so dumbfounded I made her sit down and tell me why she liked me. She suffered the indignity and the next day sent a message through my best friend that she no longer wished to “go around” with me. This was all well and good–I stayed home from school that day with an upset stomach brought on by the fear of having an actual girlfriend. To this day, I’m not sure I can claim that we ever were “together.”
It counts!!!! It was the 6th grade after all.
I could feel your anguish! First love is the hardest and most embarrassing.
Such a turbulent, heartbreaking story! I was rooting for you two!
Thanks Danielabea. The 5th grade can be a mine field for romance!
Hahaha!
Good story… amazing how it all moved beyond you and Bob and drew in your classmates.
Send him a mechanical pencil.
I think that it still embarrasses him, but wouldn’t it be creepy to send him one without a return address? Hahaha! I could never do that to him.
Heartbreaking but brilliant!
I’m glad your romantic prospects have improved since then, Susie…
Thanks Hook!
They sure did, but some hearts may have been broken along the way…what a ride!
ahhhh susie this made me sad..
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
For me it was hilarious to retell this ill-fated romance!
Thank you!
Oh, the agony of it – you describe it so well!
Oh the trials of first love! Hahaha! Thank you.
Oh my gosh! How sad! I hope you feel better about it years later! Man…
then again, I didn’t even have a 5th grade admirer, so woo you!
Hahaha! I can laugh now! A while ago when I was visiting back in Wisconsin, I ran into Bob and his wife and he wouldn’t look me! Still awkward after so many years!
Susie, Bob probably still had a crush on you, even years later! LOL!
Maybe! Hahaha!
Awwww…such heartbreak at such a young age.
I know! Hahaha! Thanks for reading~
my daughter was confused and upset when a boy asked to be her boyfriend in grade 4 or 5. she thought she had to say ‘yes’ because she’d been asked (all her girlfriends said so) but she didn’t even like him
Once mom explained how this thing worked, she broke off with him and went on with her life. she learned that lesson well – she didn’t date until she was in grade 12.
thx for a good post
That’s great that you explained it to your daughter. My next boyfriend wasn’t until the summer before freshman year in high school, but I still didn’t feel all that comfortable until a couple of years later!
Thanks Louise.