A Sexercise for My Book – 125 Word “Flash” Fiction

The sun slanted at a lower angle through the dirty windshield and he knew he should leave. “Just one more minute.”

Alexa’s afternoon of window shopping had been fruitful. She had purchased the sheer lavender cocktail dress that clung to her curvaceous body. She drove down the street, glancing over at the battered black Camaro parked in front of the neighbor’s house and then pulled into her driveway.

He slipped in through the open garage door and could hear the water pounding in the shower.  While climbing the stairs, the thought of her vulnerability made him hard. He entered the steamy bathroom and stared at her figure through the glass shower door as she caressed herself with soap.

She smiled and said, “Come in.”

~~~

Please dear readers, be gentle with me. It’s my first time. I wrote this somewhat tame post to help me get over the anxiety of writing the sexy scenes in my book. The first draft is almost finished and I am in the middle of the climax. 

~~~

Do you feel frustrated when the writer builds sexual tension in a story and then shuts the bedroom door?

Photo by Susie Lindau

Check out more 100 word flash fiction stories by the Fictioneers at Madison Wood’s Blog

109 thoughts on “A Sexercise for My Book – 125 Word “Flash” Fiction

  1. Great start, you are on your way. Sometimes, the shutting door is just the right touch for the reader to segue into their imagination, sometimes it is a writer that lacks imagination. You’re definitely not among the latter. Good work

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  2. Sorry to catch up with this so late! Kudos to you, Susie, it’s never easy for a writer to put sexy stuff “out there.” For some really great tips on sexy writing, and writing and publishing in general, I HIGHLY recommend Susie Bright’s How to Write a Dirty Story. She makes a comment in there that the worst critic of the erotic stuff we write is ourselves–generally speaking our readers will love it, if it is in keeping with the tone, voice, and storytelling…

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  3. If the write has done the work to build up the tension well enough, I find the closed door fades away and I, the reader, can fill in any details as needed. Not that I’m averse to the write providing them, but I enjoy the writer/reader collaboration in creating scenes.

    Your “sexercise” worked very well – just enough details to fill in the relationship. I loved the confidence in the last line.

    Good work.

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  4. Very sexy stuff. I picked the wrong post to quit smoking!
    And no, I don’t feel cheated when the writer leads us to a point and then shuts the door. It’s up to us readers to find a door that opens, after all.

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    • Too funny! I hope you will not be disappointed in future posts since this is a huge departure for me..Hahaha! Monday will be funny, but tame and Wednesday will be a bit more on the wild side….

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  5. “The first draft is almost finished and I am in the middle of the climax.”
    Why are you writing if you’re in the middle of the climax, Susie? A girl could get hurt that way!
    Just kidding!
    Great work! Very sexy! Anything too dirty wouldn’t suit your style!

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    • Hahaha! I couldn’t resist the pun.
      You are right Hook. I want don’t want to embarrass my reader.I’ll use suggestive sensual writing.
      BTW – That is the longest comment I’ve gotten from you Hook.
      Thank you!

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  6. First – great ‘warm up’ here, certainly set the scene. I think the ‘head hopping’ here might have weakened it a little, in the short story context. Potentially more build up from one point of view or another, simply because I’d go for the twist of an ‘intruder’ or something similar. Still, good scenario here!

    As for ‘shutting the bedroom door’ it depends on whether the sex scene is important to the development of the story or not. If the way these two people connect in bed (or shower, or wherever!) is a way to show the state of their relationship I think it’s important to show it. If it’s gratuitous, well, that can be good too – depends how it blends with the attitude of the story, I guess. How squeamish are your intended readers likely to be? Harlequin or Black Lace, for instance.

    Wow, this morphed into a longer response, but I hope it’s sortta helpful. I’m catching up on all the entries today! My own 100 word effort this week is over here: http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/flash-fiction-friday-cellar-wall/

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  7. I thought it was very sensual without being overtly about sex. I’m uncomfortable sharing that side of my writing in public, too, but I’d best get over it because one of the main themes running through my novel is sexuality, LOL.

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  8. Okay, I think you did a great job setting the scene… But you lured us here under false pretenses, you little minx!

    I would suggest you cut “curvaceous” and “voluptuous.” those telling words are unnecessary are often push a scene from steamy to raunchy. Read the scene again without those two words. Not necessar, right? We get that she’s hot by the way her dress clings to her figure.

    It’s the English teacher in me.

    How can you leave us at the sheer door? Ohhhhh! So we buy the book! Clever girl, Clarise! ;-)

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    • Hahaha! I totally agree, but needed 125 words and had to throw in a couple. I have had that same criticism before with descriptive words. Flash fiction with a set word criteria is tough.
      I hope you will buy the book even though it will be a different plot line!
      Thanks Renee!

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  9. This was fantastic, had me worried at first, then that lovely twist at the end. I hope they have fun!

    As for how descriptive to get with the nest step, I prefer sensuality to precise description, though sensuality can be quite precise, too, I guess it’s all in how you word it.

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    • I am so glad that you commented and that is why I wrote this. I really wanted to know how far to go when I write it. I would have stuck with my own intuition, but may have wondered if I should take another step.
      Thanks so much!

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  10. Oh Susie this was such an amazing piece, loved it,,,,
    Its so frustating when the writer changes subject in between or something comes up in my life…thats why i read books in night after every one is asleep..so that there is no one between me and my book full of characters..
    amazing job Susie :)

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    • I know you read Kyle’s stuff so I really appreciate that. I didn’t want anyone to hit the mature button since this is probably the only sexy post I will blog, for a while…..
      Thank you so much!

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      • I love when scenes are subtle. The lead up and anticipation are the parts I enjoy. I have a feeling the next scene is still going to be hot, but I feel like this build up was delightful.

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  11. Hi,
    Wow, now that was a story, very nice, excellent, well done, nicely written, and it certainly got the imagination started, did I mention I really like the story? :D
    Great video as well very good choice. :)

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  12. About five or six years ago I attempted to write a short piece of erotic fiction. What possessed me to do that I don’t know. It was about a job interview, and it was every bit as awful as you’re no doubt imagining. I still have it on a flash drive somewhere. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I put a password on it to stop anyone else reading it, which I predictably forgot. I think that’s for the best.

    With that experience behind me I now have a good idea what constitutes a truly terrible literary sex scene. And this isn’t it – this is sexy!

    Here’s my entry. In the Flash Fiction challenge I mean, take your mind out of the sewer!
    http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/turn-on-log-in-and-freak-out-100-word-flash-fiction/
    I apologise in advance.

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  13. The first draft is almost finished and I am in the middle of the climax. ?? Oh girl, you are definitely on the right track. tee hee This is great stuff, girl. keep at it, you’ve got the touch.

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  14. Susie! It’s good! You don’t have to worry — although I understand asking people to take it easy on the criticism when you’re not feeling confident.

    Honestly, these scenes are just tough. I think you’re on your way. Maybe you should get Madison to prompt us one week with just the words “sex scene” and the rest of us will join in on the miserable task of making it not too “hard” and not to oblique or cliche.

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  15. Puns and innuendo abound here today!
    Personally, I find sex scenes very difficult to write and you’ve managed to do a good job here – not going too far but also still leaving yourself room to manoeuvre (looks like I’m adding to the innuendo!) in terms of description and content.

    Bravo on having the nerve to publish this. That’s always the first (and most difficult) step!

    Mine is much less racy:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/fridayfictioneers-is-it-safe/

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  16. I have the opposite problem since I write YA. I’m always trying to keep it tamer. LOL I’m all telling my characters, “Hey, stop that! Settle down now.” =O The music definitely fits the mood.

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    • I had no idea that still photo was going to come up with the video!
      You are so funny!
      It was hard to press publish, but I think it had more to do with what my readers have come to expect from me and I didn’t want to shock anyone!
      I think it will be different in a book where most are comfortable with the format.
      Thanks Debra!

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      • I completely understand. When I write some of my scenes I feel funny about the day I will share them and what it will be like for people who know me. But my mom’s already read them and she loves them so hey!

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  17. Dear Susie,

    I encourage you to just let go and write whatever you feel. That is what will connect with your reader. That these thoughts were conceived in your mind and given life on digital paper only confirms your membership in the human race. We all have intense sexual thoughts (elsewise there would be no one to write stories for, right?) and having the courage to write while tapping into that drive is to be applauded. Hesitant story telling is like a hesitant lover, a complete turn off. Revel in your time.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  18. i like the imagery, i’m just wondering about the desires, their thoughts, what/who she is thinking about while she is in there alone [not the dress and shopping]. where’s the ‘worst thing in my life’ moment when she is in the shower? where’s the tension outside of the sexual? what makes this sex scene “wrong” or conflicted. i like it, but i think you could revamp it to make it even “steamier” ;)

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  19. Well done, Susie, I hate writing sex scenes too. Especially when you know your friends and family might read it! I thought you built the tension well in this piece.
    The last line was a little bit of a let down, I don’t think the alliteration adds anything. Maybe just have her pull back the shower curtain and smile; dialogue can break a lot of sexual tension in real life and even more so in writing. But that’s just my suggestion. I thought you handled the rest of it really well and I take my hat off to you for putting it out there!

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  20. I dont know if I could do it either.. I had no idea there was going to be sex scenes in your book. Well done my friend.. the story was staring you in the face but done in a way it did not have me at an awkward moment.
    What am I saying?
    No awkward here hahah
    HUGGGGGGGGGG

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  21. That’s good. And most books leave it at that, right. So what could be surprising is…the next chap continues it right along. My question is this. How far should you go and describe? What do the majority of people like? I really need to know this as I am writing a romance right now, with a lot of concrete content, but I would like it to be ‘hot’ and acceptable.

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    • I gotta believe that most readers want some description. I love reading the sexy parts of books especially when they are written very sensually. Sometimes I really felt as though the author wimped out when they skipped over it.
      I have heard that romance novels are selling really well now that they can be downloaded on ebooks and no one knows what they are reading!
      Sex sells….
      Thanks Gardenlillie and good luck with your WIP!

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  22. Nicely done, Susie! You definitely got our imaginations going…which can make for the steamiest sex scenes. LOL And good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. The toughest part is starting, right? Pretty soon “Wild Ride” may take on a whole new meaning… ;)

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  23. It’s great! I know what you mean. I have now written 3 whole books for Mills&Boon, one of which was rejected outright, one of which they said had promise, and one of which just needed a few edits. Unfortunately, I didn’t follow any of this up because I was too busy at work. I do remember how weird it was writing the sex scenes though!!! All the best for your novel!

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    • Thanks JM! I plan on tackling those scenes now. I really hate it when authors skip over them and then pick up with they are each smoking a cigarette! Hahaha!
      Send them to an editor! I bet they are great~
      Thank you so much!

      Like

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