The sun slanted at a lower angle through the dirty windshield and he knew he should leave. “Just one more minute.”
Alexa’s afternoon of window shopping had been fruitful. She had purchased the sheer lavender cocktail dress that clung to her curvaceous body. She drove down the street, glancing over at the battered black Camaro parked in front of the neighbor’s house and then pulled into her driveway.
He slipped in through the open garage door and could hear the water pounding in the shower. While climbing the stairs, the thought of her vulnerability made him hard. He entered the steamy bathroom and stared at her figure through the glass shower door as she caressed herself with soap.
She smiled and said, “Come in.”
~~~
Please dear readers, be gentle with me. It’s my first time. I wrote this somewhat tame post to help me get over the anxiety of writing the sexy scenes in my book. The first draft is almost finished and I am in the middle of the climax.
~~~
Do you feel frustrated when the writer builds sexual tension in a story and then shuts the bedroom door?
Photo by Susie Lindau
Check out more 100 word flash fiction stories by the Fictioneers at Madison Wood’s Blog
I’ll have what she’s having!! Loved it, Susie! Keep writing!
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Thanks! Quite the exciting life she leads and yet…..
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Susie,
This ended way too soon. I know what you mean. The sex scenes are difficult, and I always think about others reading them and what they will think. This is very tasteful, while still being sexy. I can certainly understand why it would be hard to write in the middle of a climax. Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.
Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
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Hahaha! That is too funny! I am glad that you could relate! I will be stopping over soon…
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About five or six years ago I attempted to write a short piece of erotic fiction. What possessed me to do that I don’t know. It was about a job interview, and it was every bit as awful as you’re no doubt imagining. I still have it on a flash drive somewhere. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I put a password on it to stop anyone else reading it, which I predictably forgot. I think that’s for the best.
With that experience behind me I now have a good idea what constitutes a truly terrible literary sex scene. And this isn’t it – this is sexy!
Here’s my entry. In the Flash Fiction challenge I mean, take your mind out of the sewer!
http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/turn-on-log-in-and-freak-out-100-word-flash-fiction/
I apologise in advance.
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Jake you crack me up!
I am glad you liked it! I will stop over to read yours!
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Hi,
Wow, now that was a story, very nice, excellent, well done, nicely written, and it certainly got the imagination started, did I mention I really like the story? 😀
Great video as well very good choice. 🙂
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Thanks Mags! I am glad I wrote it. Now I can get started on those scenes…
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Susie, I thought you portrayed your scene VERY nicely! I don’t have a romantic bone in my body–probably why I write historical fiction–but I loved the sense of mystery followed by the sweetness. Good job.
Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html.
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Thanks so much VL! I really worried about it especially when the comments didn’t come in at first….
I will check yours out!
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Got me to want the next part pretty badly. What you have is well written and exciting. Nice work.
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I know you read Kyle’s stuff so I really appreciate that. I didn’t want anyone to hit the mature button since this is probably the only sexy post I will blog, for a while…..
Thank you so much!
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I love when scenes are subtle. The lead up and anticipation are the parts I enjoy. I have a feeling the next scene is still going to be hot, but I feel like this build up was delightful.
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I think that is what I learned today. That was the concensus anyway. I will go with my gut and your opinion!
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nice use of imagery and fantasy…
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Thanks I think I can write the scenes now…
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I was actually not expecting this from your blog so I am intrigued
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It is a one time thing I assure you….i just needed the practice and get some feedback so I could finish my novel.
Thanks for stopping in!
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ahhh, a novelist? Now I am hooked. What may I read next?
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Oh Susie this was such an amazing piece, loved it,,,,
Its so frustating when the writer changes subject in between or something comes up in my life…thats why i read books in night after every one is asleep..so that there is no one between me and my book full of characters..
amazing job Susie 🙂
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Wow, thanks Soma! I really appreciate that!
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This was fantastic, had me worried at first, then that lovely twist at the end. I hope they have fun!
As for how descriptive to get with the nest step, I prefer sensuality to precise description, though sensuality can be quite precise, too, I guess it’s all in how you word it.
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I am so glad that you commented and that is why I wrote this. I really wanted to know how far to go when I write it. I would have stuck with my own intuition, but may have wondered if I should take another step.
Thanks so much!
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Okay, I think you did a great job setting the scene… But you lured us here under false pretenses, you little minx!
I would suggest you cut “curvaceous” and “voluptuous.” those telling words are unnecessary are often push a scene from steamy to raunchy. Read the scene again without those two words. Not necessar, right? We get that she’s hot by the way her dress clings to her figure.
It’s the English teacher in me.
How can you leave us at the sheer door? Ohhhhh! So we buy the book! Clever girl, Clarise! 😉
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Hahaha! I totally agree, but needed 125 words and had to throw in a couple. I have had that same criticism before with descriptive words. Flash fiction with a set word criteria is tough.
I hope you will buy the book even though it will be a different plot line!
Thanks Renee!
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I thought it was very sensual without being overtly about sex. I’m uncomfortable sharing that side of my writing in public, too, but I’d best get over it because one of the main themes running through my novel is sexuality, LOL.
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One of my blogger friends is going through the same thing only she has to write about gay women so I should be able to cruise through mine!
Thanks Madison!
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First – great ‘warm up’ here, certainly set the scene. I think the ‘head hopping’ here might have weakened it a little, in the short story context. Potentially more build up from one point of view or another, simply because I’d go for the twist of an ‘intruder’ or something similar. Still, good scenario here!
As for ‘shutting the bedroom door’ it depends on whether the sex scene is important to the development of the story or not. If the way these two people connect in bed (or shower, or wherever!) is a way to show the state of their relationship I think it’s important to show it. If it’s gratuitous, well, that can be good too – depends how it blends with the attitude of the story, I guess. How squeamish are your intended readers likely to be? Harlequin or Black Lace, for instance.
Wow, this morphed into a longer response, but I hope it’s sortta helpful. I’m catching up on all the entries today! My own 100 word effort this week is over here: http://joannakneilson.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/flash-fiction-friday-cellar-wall/
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“The first draft is almost finished and I am in the middle of the climax.”
Why are you writing if you’re in the middle of the climax, Susie? A girl could get hurt that way!
Just kidding!
Great work! Very sexy! Anything too dirty wouldn’t suit your style!
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Hahaha! I couldn’t resist the pun.
You are right Hook. I want don’t want to embarrass my reader.I’ll use suggestive sensual writing.
BTW – That is the longest comment I’ve gotten from you Hook.
Thank you!
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This is my first time seeing your blog, and I must say I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it….a little too much. Where are my damn wet naps?
Blog: livemotra.com
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Too funny! I hope you will not be disappointed in future posts since this is a huge departure for me..Hahaha! Monday will be funny, but tame and Wednesday will be a bit more on the wild side….
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Nicely done, my Colorado friend!
I haven’t ever done anything like that, so I applaud your bravery.
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Thanks MJ! It definitely won’t become a habit, but I do think it got me over my fear since I survived the weekend…
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Very sexy stuff. I picked the wrong post to quit smoking!
And no, I don’t feel cheated when the writer leads us to a point and then shuts the door. It’s up to us readers to find a door that opens, after all.
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Thanks Cayman!
I think you are right. Our imaginations can take us to amazing places…
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If the write has done the work to build up the tension well enough, I find the closed door fades away and I, the reader, can fill in any details as needed. Not that I’m averse to the write providing them, but I enjoy the writer/reader collaboration in creating scenes.
Your “sexercise” worked very well – just enough details to fill in the relationship. I loved the confidence in the last line.
Good work.
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Thank you so much!! I agree about the collaboration and will take your advice.
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Like so many others, I was surprised (pleasantly) when she welcomed him.
mine’s here: http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/flash-fiction-15-the-invasion/
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Thanks so much! I will check it out.
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I was blushing by the time “He slipped in through the open garage door and..
Okay, SO, blushing isn’t exactly the right word… Good writing…I have to go now…lol
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Thanks Sonsothunder! I am glad you enjoyed it and subscribed to my blog!
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Sorry to catch up with this so late! Kudos to you, Susie, it’s never easy for a writer to put sexy stuff “out there.” For some really great tips on sexy writing, and writing and publishing in general, I HIGHLY recommend Susie Bright’s How to Write a Dirty Story. She makes a comment in there that the worst critic of the erotic stuff we write is ourselves–generally speaking our readers will love it, if it is in keeping with the tone, voice, and storytelling…
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Thanks so much for the tip! I will check it out!
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Great start, you are on your way. Sometimes, the shutting door is just the right touch for the reader to segue into their imagination, sometimes it is a writer that lacks imagination. You’re definitely not among the latter. Good work
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Thanks Barney and for subscribing! I will have a fun post up tomorrow…
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Great for a first timer! Well done! 🙂
Subhan Zein
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Well done. I like flash and short stories to test out ideas and new forms in writing. I hope this exercise helped you out.
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Thanks! It really did help me and I learned a lot through the comments. Thanks for subscribing!
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