The Salon Confessional – Friday Flash Fiction

The woman had been coming to the salon for years. Michelle had listened to her drone on with the fortitude of a saint. As time progressed, so did the gossip and out of her mouth came snakes, toads, and lizards. Michelle didn’t want to hear the foul blather, but what could she do? She snipped her hair in silence and nodded.

One day, the woman regaled Michelle with the rancid details of her affair with a married man. When Michelle realized it was her friend’s husband,  a smile crossed her face.

Months later, after getting her hair cut, the woman thanked Michelle and turned to leave. Michelle gazed at the expanding bald spot at the back of the woman’s head that had grown a bit broader that day…

Have you ever used the salon or barber shop as a place to blow off steam?

Do you trust your hairdresser?

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Photo by Susie Lindau

For more flash fiction check out the comment section of Madison Wood’s blog

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Filed under Fiction, Humor

106 responses to “The Salon Confessional – Friday Flash Fiction

  1. “Snakes, toads, and lizards” is a lovely vile image!
    Can I query one thing? (Personally I love receiving constructive comments, so long as they *are* constructive.) Do you think comparing Michelle to a saint makes her seem too sanctimonious? Especially given the sneakiness of her revenge…
    Anyways, just a thought, this was a fun read!

    • She was totally passive aggressive, so I agree about the saint. It was a cliche trying to get across the fact that she was easily taken advantage of, but I could have said something that wouldn’t put her on such a high horse. Oh my gosh! There’s another one!
      Thanks for reading!

  2. Loved it Susie – when I visit the Barber for the ritual shearing a woman (yes A WOMAN!) cuts my hair. I have told her I design oil rigs for a living and for the past two years or so I have been filling her in on advances in rig design. Naturally it is all a pack of lies. One day I will be found out, but at the moment……

  3. I love this. And I trust my hair dresser. Because that would be me. But my colorist. Oy. He is a blabber mouth. One has to be very careful. ;-)

    • I have trusted some and not others depending on who I know goes to the same salon!
      Thanks Renee!
      I saw that you advanced in the MMM2. Way to go Bueller! I voted for you!

  4. Hi Susie,I
    Out of her mouth came snake, toads and lizards. Wow. I give this the metaphor of the year award. After that, how was I not going to love this serpentine and well-wrought revenge tale?
    Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

  5. ooh! revenge! Love it.. fantastic read.

  6. Barbers and stylists are like bartenders; they’ve heard and seen EVERYTHING!

  7. Ha, this was fun. And I love that you added the question, do you trust your hairdresser.

  8. You have told your hairdresser that you’re a closet Cornhusker, haven’t you?? hehehe

  9. Good one! Loved the ‘gossip came out of her mouth line’.

    My hairdresser is my daughter. She went to ‘beauty school’ for a year, so she would have a profession while attending college and acting school. Never blown off steam, but have cued her on her lines while having my hair attended to a few times.

  10. The way you set up and tell this story forced me to click through and read the whole thing. Nice!

  11. Corey

    My hair-cutter-lady would always pry to find out more of my life. She always gave me discounts because I was poor, though. She also had a lazy eye.

    Since then I’ve gotten a life, a job, and a hair-cutter with eyes that look forward.

  12. Oh, that reminds me — I need to make a hair appointment. My hairdresser and I chat about our families, hobbies, current events — nothing I’d be afraid of anyone overhearing. And she always remembers the details of my life months later when I come back for my next appointment. I seriously think she takes notes.

  13. That was funny, I trust mine! LOL

  14. another wonderful post. i remember being a young man, excited to save enough money to get a haircut. i didn’t care about my looks–i was interested in getting my weekly dose of barber shop talk. everything from philosophy, sports, politics, and of course women. i learned more from the old men (always there and not all necessarily working there lol) in that store front sitting on a phone book for height, than any class i’ve ever paid to attend.

  15. Hilarious!! Nothin’ like a little justice!!

  16. Madison Woods

    Ahahaha! Mine is long and I don’t go in often, so no secrets are spilled in my visits ;) Too funny, what sweet revenge.

  17. Hilarious. I’m pretty sure I’m the only guy who has ever been inside the place where I get my hair styled, but I’m all right with that. They do the best work and the things I hear there… wow. A notepad is to conspicuous, so I wear a wire… for learning purposes : )

    • For hearing purposes and blog fodder! Hahaha!
      I have seen men in every salon I have been to. I can just imagine what you guys have heard!
      Glad to see you are recovering after your surgery with your sense of humor intact! :)
      Thanks Jared!

  18. Hi,
    The things that are said in some places would curl your hair. :D
    I often wonder if these people that are telling their secrets realize that others can hear as well. :lol:

  19. Still laughing–funny to everyone but the recipient of the haircut. :-) Reminicent of the provoked cook who spits in the stew. Nicely done.

  20. I go to the salon for peace and quiet and “me” time:) Have a Great Weekend!

  21. Oh my! Hehehe. I don’t care for talking while at the salon. But I know many do. I’ll make idle talk, but would prefer the peace and quiet to let my imagination go to work.

    • You are so smart! I remember talking about my blog one time and I was sitting right next to a neighbor! Hahaha! Oh well I guess I was doing a little inadvertent advertising!

  22. siobhanmuir

    What a great take on that fairytale. Better to spout diamonds and pearls than toads and snakes. Nicely done, Susan! :D

    Here’s mine:


    • Thanks Siobhan!
      I have no idea which fairy tale, but I agree and am all about diamonds and pearls myself!

      • siobhanmuir

        Maybe it was an allegory: Two sisters lived in a house, one was hard and cruel, the other “perfect”, you know the deal; kind hearted, sweet. gracious, yada yada yada. One day a fancy lady comes to the well and asks for a drink of water from the sweet daughter. She of course gives it with out hesitation and the lady turns out to be a fairy or an angel and blesses her to drop diamonds and pearls from her mouth whenever she speaks.

        The cruel sister of course wants the same thing, but when she goes to the well and meets the old woman, she refuses to do anything, looking for the fancy lady to impress. It’s the same angel and she curses the cruel sister to spout toads and snakes to show all her rancid heart.

        That’s what I thought of when I read your tale, only the angel was the hairdresser. :)

  23. could have painted a target, but oh well – :-)

  24. Barbershops, hair salons, in line at the post office, grocery store…bellying up to the bar…oh my!

    Unreal snippets of conversations all over the dang place. Some people haven’t heard the quote, ‘loose lips sink ships’
    ~ Sailor me ;)

  25. That’s awesome! Serves that lady right for being so awful. Love it!

  26. out of her mouth came snakes, toads, and lizards…this seems a sequel to your last piece about secret sharing…i can so relate to this piece that am laughing me silly. But i trust my Barber to keep my blab

  27. Great story; so funny! I hate going to the hair salon because I’m not a talker/gossiper and that’s all they seem to do there. Thinking of just buzzing mine for the summer so I can avoid it.

  28. This was a great piece…I especially enjoyed the imagery of the gossip crawling forth from her mouth. Like I tell my kids, watch what you say – you never know who is listening.

    ~Susan (here’s mine:

  29. Yes, I trust my stylist. Been going to her for nearly 20 years – although she doesn’t do much styling since I’ve gone with the buzz cut.

  30. Russell

    Nothing like a little “clip & tell” I never trust people who talk about others. You know they talk about you as well.

    I love the bald spot. A very entertaining tale.

    mines at

  31. hmcmullin

    My hairdresser, who just retired after 20 years, was always the one who unloaded on me! All I can say is she had an interesting life. My husband said he never heard anyone who could talk so fast. Entertainment and a haircut – what more could you ask for?

  32. I use to own a salon and saw what the dirty laundry that goes on there.
    I gave up hairdressers after I closed it and that way everything remains with me and oh ya my reading public. :)

  33. My hair lady conducts hair-apy all the time! LOL I trust her with my hair. That’s all I will say. ;)

  34. Clever story. Both distasteful.

  35. I’ve read of some terrible revenges being exacted by hairdressers, but mostly involving over-bleaching! Enhancing a bald spot really takes the biscuit. Thanks for making me smile.

  36. Great cautionary tale. Guess you better be careful who you reveal your secrets to.

    Here’s mine for the week;

  37. Do you trust your hairdresser? Har… you set that up so well. I’m glad I take care of my hair on my own, ayeee! (Not that I’d be foolin’ around with someone!)

  38. My ultimate fear: growing bald! Ahhh!
    I trust my hairdresser. I have been going to him for 10 years now. Had a few affairs with others but none could satisfy me like he does, so I keep coming back. Next week I get to see him again. :-)
    Here is my contribution to the Friday Fictioneers prompt. Its my first time. :-)
    Wish you a nice weekend. Cheers!

  39. Snakes, toads, and lizards. That’s hilarious. I prefer to cut my hair at salons over barbershops. I trust them with my haircut but never with my personal life. I might encounter some problems with reptiles and amphibians. What a beautiful post. I love it.

  40. Love it Susie. Lizards, toads and snakes, may I never know this woman. ;)

  41. fun story and wonderful word selection Susie. what is it about hair salons? I usually bring a book and after a bit of hello and how are you’s? i read.

  42. OMG after this never :lol:
    what a lovely fun story….and out of her mouth came snakes, toads, and lizards…now i may know this woman ;)
    I never ever share anything with my hairdresser, well I don’t have much to share anyways and i am a good listener, telling you Susie every visit is a trip to gossip park..have heard so much in salons over years,can make an excellent thriller/romance/action movie on that

  43. Cool story. My hair dresser is in the right drawer in the bathroom, totally trust it… :)

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