Fractured Dreams – Flash Fiction Friday – You Choose

The aroma of fresh pine began to wake her from a deep sleep, but she hung on to the tendrils of a hazy dream. If she opened her eyes it would slip away forever. The warm caress of memory pulled her back and she found herself in a dark forest. She was not alone.

The hunter was close by. Somehow the game had gotten out of control. She had wanted him to catch her like before and yet growing fear of a different outcome stood in her way. I don’t trust him.

The Winner!

He peered through the doorway. The hospital worker scrubbed floors with a mop while she remained in a coma. This time he’d gone too far.

That was the first ending I wrote, but wasn’t sure that readers would like the dark ending. Was I wrong or what? Thanks for voting. The results will help me with the completion of my rewrite!

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About susielindau

I am a Boulder, Colorado writer and artist who loves adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride!
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72 Responses to Fractured Dreams – Flash Fiction Friday – You Choose

  1. Pingback: Stalked – 100 Word Flash Fiction | Susie Lindau's Wild Ride

  2. Pingback: Heads Up! A Party Invitation | Susie Lindau's Wild Ride

  3. Kecia Adams says:

    Hi Susie! Really liked the choose your ending. I thought the sinister one went with the tone of the rest of the piece. :)

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks Kecia! I am glad you liked this. I wasn’t sure anyone would play along, but many did!
      These flash fictions are helping me with a book I working on. Knowing that readers like a little darkness will help me with my rewrite.
      I hope you will stop by with a link on Wednesday!

      Like

  4. B. L. Crisp says:

    This you already know dear Susie :) I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award: http://spirativity.co.uk/2012/06/01/the-kreativ-blogger-in-i/

    Like

  5. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    A brilliant idea letting us choose, I chose the beach scene, because it did bring on a smile. :)

    Like

  6. Debra Kristi says:

    I love the the fact you are letting people vote on possible endings. Brilliant! I can’t believe my choice isn’t winning. :(

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      It’s not over yet! I am so glad you liked the idea.
      I wrote the dark ending first and then thought writing alternative humorous endings might be fun!
      Thanks Debra!

      Like

  7. Oh not only was the story superb I just loved the very idea of voting and letting us choose one…this is fun :)
    it was tough all the three options were brilliant but after spending a lot of time and moving cursor over 1st and 3rd i finally chose the 1st option..yay to dark endings :)

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      That is so great! I a wrote a paranormal fiction and although it has it’s light funny spots it will get dark too. (in the middle of a rewrite). Blogging does help to see what readers enjoy.
      Thanks so much for the input Soma!

      Like

  8. Cayman Thorn says:

    Wow! I love this. And allowing us to choose is brilliant. Must confess, I couldn’t vote for that youtube ending. That stuff spooks me, even in fiction.

    Like

  9. Loved it Susie – as we live in democracies i will keep my vote to myself for the time being (it was #3 by the way). Enjoy the weekend!

    Like

  10. “The warm caress of memory pulled her back …”

    I love that line! I went with ‘a’… I love the dark feel.

    Like

  11. unfetteredbs says:

    great tease… now which do you choose?

    Like

  12. Im sure many have said this already but i will too, love how we get to choose the ending, the story engages you even more that way. First ending for me aswell.

    Like

  13. First choice: Too grim, and I’m just not in a dark mood today – But I was was making the choice monday morning at work, things might be different…

    Second choice: Score!!! Makes me smile and feel nostalgic, cause I’ve done it before! :-D Extra fun when when subject is sleeping on stomach with no strings attached… Hee! Hee! Hee! :-)

    Third Choice: Nah, that’s just too mean – even for a monday morning at work. At least 1st victim is in coma and not feeling anything, and 2nd victim will jump up hopping mad, but she’ll soon get over it… But wide open mouthed snoring on youtube viral video??? The humiliation could last for years, and she might never get over the shame! Sub that one out to the Marquis Du Sade, or maybe the president of a college fraternity, cause that’s their kind of gig… not mine!

    Like

  14. Interesting Susie… I went with the more sinister outcome as I could feel a little bit of revenge coming on. However, according to the results so far, it isn’t the most popular choice!

    Like

  15. tomwisk says:

    Story was a good lead-in to choice C. I’d love to write flash fiction but my brain overthinks the story and I wind up writing a story that probably won’t end.

    Like

  16. That’s lovely and poetic Susie and fab that we get to choose the ending, how fun!

    Like

  17. Katie Glenn says:

    This was a fun one! I like interactive stories. :)

    Like

  18. Gotta go Viral! Have a Wonderful Weekend:)

    Like

  19. When will you let us know what won gold, silver and bronze? Clearly psyching myself up for the summer Olympics over here. And yes, I voted.

    Like

  20. Well done and love the voting bit..
    HUGGGGGGGGGGG

    Like

  21. El Guapo says:

    Ha – I voted, and the results show you have a 3 way tie. Can’t wait to see how you get out of that one!

    Like

  22. willofheart says:

    lol, I choose the last one,….

    Like

  23. I chose number 1 but all were very good!

    Like

  24. the master says:

    I like this idea! I chose three, purely because I’m tempted to do the same whenever I see my mother asleep. She’d kill me, but it would be worth it!

    I won’t post a link to mine yet, as it hasn’t been written or even conceived yet. I’ll be back with that later.

    Like

  25. tedstrutz says:

    Three good endings… and all different. I choose #1, although I would have left off the last line.
    #2 was my second choice… you are a clever girl.

    Like

  26. Yatin says:

    Like the thriller in the fiction, I’d like to end it with a humor :)

    Like

  27. Very nice to choose the ending, the last two made me laugh. There is something about Flash Fiction starting with sleep and waking to the smell of something good….. Happy Friday =)

    Like

  28. nelle says:

    lmao… I can’t decide between the last two!

    Like

  29. John says:

    Sounds like a suspense novel. :)

    Like

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