Stalked – 100 Word Flash Fiction

Wheat swaying in the moonlight swished like waves in an iridescent sea. She cut a path through the field, propelled by hunger and the seductive aroma of dinner. Clouds that had flitted across the sky now obliterated the only light source and she found herself concentrating on her footing.themoon

A twig snapped and she slowed her pace. The rush of adrenaline gave her the kick she needed. She pounced. As she snapped the rabbit’s neck, it emitted a childlike cry.  She lifted up her head and let out a victory howl. The clan joined her in discord. Dinnertime.

The other night Danny and I woke up to a pack of coyotes in our backyard. Their loud and unnerving howling is nothing like the movies. It is a high-pitched wailing. My daughter heard one of them kill a rabbit and it shrieked! Living in Colorado is still the Wild West in some ways. We are keeping a close eye on our Bichon Roxy. 

Have you ever hunted? Have you ever eaten rabbit?


The results are in on Fractured Dreams. The results surprised me!

Feel free to leave a link to your flash fiction in my comment section

More flash fiction can be found at Madison Wood’s Blog

 

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98 Comments

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98 responses to “Stalked – 100 Word Flash Fiction

  1. Just read this again. As great as the first time through.

    New flash fiction on TrueLee Fiction

    read. enjoy. share.

    http://trueleefiction.wordpress.com/category/flash-fiction/

  2. Very nice! We have coyotes too — sometimes too close too! Nicely done.

  3. lynnkelleyauthor

    Your writing rocks, Susie. You’re exceptionally good at flash fiction. Nice! We lost a cat to a coyote years ago. Yes, keep a close watch on Roxy!

  4. Poor rabbits… :( I’m going to try some flash fiction sometime. Lovely prose! ;)

    • Thanks Barry! Just leave your link in my comment section some Friday. That would be great!
      I know. Those rabbits don’t always make it back to their hutch… :( The circle of life…

  5. I haven’t hunted. I hate the idea of eating rabbit…but I have. I was in Italy with my wife and it was totally amazing.

  6. Creepy story. I’ve had rabbit, but wasn’t crazy about it. I reserve my hunting for Black Friday.

  7. Why is it that everything tastes like chicken? Even alligator? (Yes! I admit I’ve had it a couple of times and enjoyed it at the, though now I’m a pescatrarian- vegetarian and ocassionally fish). I enjoyed your flash fiction. Can’t wait to find the time to read all these comments.

    • Thanks so much!
      Alligator! Wow! I would think it would be tough, but maybe with all that floating around while lurking for quarry it may put on a little fat! Hahaha!

  8. I have never hunted, as I was raised by my mother and older sister primarily. However, I have eaten rabbit! It’s okay…

    • Hey Andy! Thanks for dropping by. I haven’t hunted either and probably couldn’t shoot one if facing one down. Even when I was the most frustrated with them after they ruined my garden, I still swerved out of the way with my car!
      Thanks for reading!

  9. Rabbit Stew is tasty Susie. The Cat has a taste for squirrels at the moment – he is on a killin spree due to our warm wet summer. Loved the story. I’d cack my pants at that shrieking sound. Not very Daniel Boone I know but the truth!

    • That is too funny Jim! Until they can open doors, I fell pretty safe.
      They do still produce a shiver since the sound is the eeriest I’ve ever heard!
      Thanks Jim!

  10. Hey Susie, I’m not far from where Bridges (see comment way above) and I live way out in the middle of nowhere. My nearest neighbor is a mile away and we do hear coyotes often. We have a cougar we hear and see from time to time too, in the area, even though Game and Fish says there aren’t any. Right.

    Loved your story from a coyote’s POV!

    • Thanks Madison! I have seen every animal imaginable in Colorado except for cougar. We saw moose running across the bottom of a busy ski run last year, black bear, fox and porcupines.
      I keep my eyes open since they are around!

      • wow! I didn’t know they had porcupines there. Those would scare me, lol. I’d hate to get hit or my dogs get hit by one.

        • One night I was on the phone in the mountains and my dog was going nuts. I opened up the front door and there right in front of us was a prehistoric looking creature with huge feet. She stared for the split second I needed to grab her collar. I shut the door and went back and snapped some photos. They have no fear!

  11. Very vivid description. I felt like I was there, but glad I wasn’t around for all that nonsense. You would have heard the shriek of this City Slicker…now that would be chilling…great Flash Susie!

    • Thanks so much! It does make my hair stand on end and I would love to record them…I can’t believe how loud they are even with the windows shut! I hope you have a shriek-free weekend!

  12. Every time you’re interrupted from sleep,you know you will be waking up to some BAD news…all the time!

  13. Very nice imagery. This flash works well. What I don’t understand is how did your daughter know that it was a rabbit that shrieked? Cats meow, dogs bark, but what sound does a rabbit make other than, “Ehhh, what’s up doc?”

  14. How do you keep striking gold, Susie?

  15. Hi,
    A great short story, and great ending very unexpected. :)
    I have had rabbit, if not cooked right it can be very tough, I found it has a strong flavour, but I liked it, I haven’t had it for years though.
    I couldn’t imagine what it must of been like to hear the coyotes, very frightening I suspect especially if you have animals around you would certainly be worried.

    • My Bichon was safe and sound in her bed, but one time I heard them and her doggy door was still open. I raced to shut it before she escaped. Whew!
      I love duck, don’t think I have had rabbit since I was a kid. Pretty gamey as I recall.

      Thanks Mags and have a wonderful varmint free weekend!

  16. Cool story! I have never hunted, but I have eaten rabbit. It tasted like rubbery chicken.

  17. Hey, I thought this was great. I know your inspiration was coyotes, but it is very “savage people”… maybe a tribe in the wastelands of a distant future… :) any who.. I like it.
    Stop by TrueLee Fiction when you get a chance. http://www.trueleefiction.wordpress.com

    Nice to find a fellow flash fiction advocate on here! keep it up :)

  18. This was cool, well written and the ending genuinely caught me by surprise. I liked it!

    The results on “Fractured Dreams”? Well I guess that there’s over 46% of the readers out there, who are just in the mood to be morbid, and they’ve got that right, cause it’s a free country. But personally, I find women in comas boring – as well as just way too easy!

    Give me the real challenge of a woman with burning fire in her eyes.. after that ice water lands on her back, causing those loose bikini top strings to go flying as she leaps up and tries to kill me! Now that’s the kind of challenge that I LIVE for! (and may die for, someday too – but nothing in this life is certain, so screw the risks and just GO for it!)

    Women in comas are for wimps! Or maybe the incredibly lazy…

    And those of you who voted for a viral video of a woman open mouthed snoring, please seek professional help first thing Monday morning, cause that’s just really hard core and that kind of mind I find kinda frightening…

    Have I ever hunted? Of course I’ve hunted! I’ve hunted for my car keys, I’ve hunted for my car in those really big lots, I’ve hunted for my wife when she’s pissed at me, I’ve hunted for the TV remote when it was in an undisclosed remote location, I hunted for my pants, and I’ve hunted for panties – unless she wasn’t wearing any, but hey, no problem! :-D

    We have ALL hunted. But not ALL of us are big enough to admit it, so just get real and get over yourselves, people!

    But now this next question, I find very disturbing. Have I ever eaten rabbit? You mean like that crazed and feral woman in your story? Oh, wait a minute… she was really a wolf, wasn’t she… Never mind, we’re good here, and it was just a brief misunderstanding; Glenn Close flashbacks are now receding and soon to be gone. (I just don’t know what Michael Douglas saw in her – even before she went psycho!)

    Actually, I don’t think that I have ever eaten rabbit. But I’ve eaten a bunny! And yes, there was lots of high pitched wailing! Lol :-D

    Have a GREAT weekend!!! :-)

    • Chris! I am glad that you liked my flash.

      I never know what you are going to come up with and somehow you take the road less traveled in your comments, but that’s what I love!
      You have to remember that I wrote all three endings and of course thought they were all tremendous! (kidding)
      You are right about hunting! That seems to be a frequent pastime of mine. I always put things somewhere special so I can find it more easily next time and then promptly forget!
      As far as eating rabbit or said bunny, TMI dude!
      Have a fantastically “hideous” (awesome) weekend too!

      • Oh, go ahead and think all three endings were tremendous, cause you wrote them and you should revel in the high level of their shear hideosity! Cause if you didn’t write them, well not only are you guilty of plagiarism, but I couldn’t have enjoyed some kidding with them. :-)

        Ah yes, the special place that is so special, no one will ever know the true depth of the secrets hidden there… or that your stuff is there too.

        TMI duly noted, and hey, if ya ever need to put a leash on me here and reign me in, please do it… and I promise not to tell you how much I like it!

        Well now I must be going, cause I don’t want to wear out my welcome, and there’s also this huge thunderstorm bearing down on our home as I type this. Proximity to electrical and electronic devices is probably not a good idea, and… AAUGHHH!!!

  19. No, and no. ;) I tried not to catch fish on purpose as a kid, and threw those back in the water. I respect the food chain, but am glad I’m not at the tippiest top of it!
    Keep flashing us, Susie! lol Love it.

  20. I don’t hunt. No moral reason, just don’t. I’ve had and prepared rabbit. The best way I’ve found is simmer in white wine with garlic and rosemary. It takes time but the kitchen smells great.

  21. This is excellent imagery! (And glad you’re keeping a close eye on Roxy!)

    I’ve never hunted or eaten rabbit, and I feel pretty confident that I’ll be able to say the same 50 years from now, LOL (If I haven’t died from a Reese’s peanut butter cup-infused vodka overdose by then.)

  22. I have eaten rabbit. I have also watched them get butchered. Brutal, I know. When I was young my girlfriend used to raise rabbits. Her father would butcher then when they reached a certain age and her mother made all kinds of rabbit recipes. It was so odd to eat what had been a pet the week before. I won’t even tell you what I saw the ONE time I accompanied her to watch the butchering. Never again. Poor little Bugs. (Bugs bunny, I mean)

    • Ooohhh!
      My cousins who lived in Milwaukee had them for that purpose for a while and I couldn’t even imagine.
      I was a medical illustrator so you would think I could!
      LOL!
      They always say that one trip to a sausage factory will cure you from eating meat for a lifetime! Eeeuuwwww!!

  23. Hi Susie! I have never eaten or hunted a rabbit.. I did chase one once in a yard in New Jersey.. and almost got it, too… Maybe that was hunting? Great flash fiction piece.. I was really in the moment.

  24. No Ms. Susie, I’ve never haunted or eaten a cute little rabbit. Even though I’m sure they’ll probably taste really good… Now are hares rabbits too?… Back home in Nigeria, there’s something we call “Bush Rat” in English. I think those are hares, we roast them usually. I had it once, and it was pretty good.

  25. So well written, Susan, even if I feel for the poor rabbit.

    I’ve never hunted, and of course, my going anywhere near a gun now would not be a good thing.

    • Did I just use, ‘Susan’? Aye yee yee, heat is getting to me!

      • Susan is cool, but being called “Sue” is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Not sure why since that is what I went by in high school and college. Maybe because so many girls were named Sue! I rarely turned around. No lie!

        We don’t own guns either although I went after a few rabbits with my son’s air-soft one time. Key words- “air soft!”
        Thanks Nelle!

  26. Susie, you chained together some beautiful sentences here. We live out in the country in Arkansas and regularly hear a pack of coyotes howling and it’s always chilling. We believe we lost some cats to the coyotes last summer and you are well advised to watch over your bichon. Also wanted to say I’ve been reading some of your recent blogs and really enjoyed them, especially the one about your dad. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

    • Thanks so much Bridges, that makes my day! I often wonder who is reading and who is just clicking in and out… :)
      I feel bad every time I see a lost cat poster in our neighborhood. Once in a while they stroll back home, but more times than not they never come back.

      This pack is aggressive and is seen sometimes later in the morning. Luckily our dog is a couch surfer and only uses her doggy door to “go” outside. She can bolt straight into the house without slowing down. I have often wondered if that has saved her since animals in pursuit of her would slow down I would think…..
      We keep it shut at night…
      You should come back and post your link!

  27. A vivid picture you created and for me, this is informative as well. Thanks. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/fridayfictioneers-the-omen/

  28. Came here from brainsnorts… and I’m not particularly surprised that I’m the only one who is rooting for the coyotes. I *love* hearing them yip and howl – I must be part canine.

    Good read, Susie. Thanks for sharing!

  29. Susie… good story. I really got into it and was made curious as to what she was, after reading your second sentence. I wanted to skip ahead to see. Well written.

    I have hunted rabbits… although I’m not sure I shot any… here is a recount of that hunt… http://tedstrutz.com/2012/03/24/friday-flash-fictioneers-bang/

    (please excuse this shameless promotion of my blog)

  30. Great job!
    The cry of a rabbit being caught by a fox is bone chilling. So I can’t imagine the shrieks of a coyote.

    Can’t eat rabbit. Couldn’t eat Bambi either when we lived in Africa. (Kudu meat.)

  31. I ate rabbit 45 years ago and it was delicious.. never again.. I felt stalked by the memories of its life
    HUGGGGGGGG

  32. Totally hooked me, what a great twist! Never had rabbit.

  33. I ate a rabbit 50 years ago – the last time parents gave me a chocolate Easter bunny.

  34. My Goodness wow Susie what a thriller…but have to tell you this one is very poetic specially the begining.beautiful
    aa no i have never eaten a rabbit but heard it tastes good may be some day..
    loved the story..

  35. Good one Susie! Gave me chills.

  36. Well done. I enjoyed the perspective. I have heard coyotes howl and stalk around a horse’s stable. Not fun. Very little sleep that night. Excellent flash fiction!

    • Thanks SF! It is unnerving. That sounds scary to have them stalking your stables!
      They were so loud and haunting. We sprang to the porch off our bedroom to get a peek, but they must have heard the door open and ran away. They hunt in this area every night!

      • Kinda wigs me out a bit. There are coyotes in PA, but not too many in my county. I was out near Mt. Rainier when I heard them harassing the horses. To have them near by every night must be something else!

  37. Hah, that was a good one! Rabbits indeed make an awful sound when they are in trouble or have been shot. Not a pleasant sound is it. There are coons around here that may get our dogs, best to go out with them, especially during the warm months. Good story!

  38. Enjoyed your vivid description and the tension you created. Yes, I’ve hunted but prefer target shooting. I’ve experienced the haunting cry of injured or wounded rabbits and it is chilling. I’m not too fond of wild game.

    • Thank you Rich!
      I never had heard the cry of coyotes or rabbits until moving out to Colorado. They are around throughout the year and are worse in the winter when the coyotes have less quarry to choose from.
      My mom made rabbit once and it really upset my sister and I! LOL!

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