The Intruder – 100 Word Flash Fiction

From the corner of the cramped bedroom, he watched her chest rise and fall under the floral comforter. He inhaled the familiar lavender scent. A quivering flash of lightning coincided with the rumble of thunder and she stirred.

After crossing the room to the bedside table, he reached for the framed photograph, but tipped it over. She sat upright while scanning the darkness that cloaked her quarters. The rhythmic pelting of rain against the window filled the room.

He slipped under the covers and ran his pale fingertip along her warm thigh.

She screamed, but he was already gone.

~~~

Have you ever had a ghostly encounter? I had one last night! I’m writing a few scenes for my book based on my experiences.

You are welcome to leave the link to your flash fiction in my comment section!

Photo by Susie Lindau

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About susielindau

I am a Boulder, Colorado writer and artist who loves adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride!
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88 Responses to The Intruder – 100 Word Flash Fiction

  1. The Hook says:

    “Fifty Shades of Susie”… I like it!
    I’d rather read your work than that hack Erika Leonard any day! Seriously, great work, young lady!

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Did you read it? I haven’t, but have heard it wasn’t written very well. I guess the author was really embarrassed. Rich and embarrassed now!
      Thanks so much Hook. That means a lot to me! I am working hard!

      Like

  2. bronxboy55 says:

    I enjoyed your story, Susie, and share Chris’s frustration, as well. I would love to experience something ghostly, so I’m obviously open-minded about it, but it hasn’t happened. Not yet, anyway.

    Like

  3. Elena says:

    oh wow! I love this !! … incredibly erotic .. even if it’s just a ghost : )

    Like

  4. B. L. Crisp says:

    Cheeky you… a lovely capture of a ghostly moment! You certainly do have a sharp and vivid way with words ;)

    Like

  5. Cayman Thorn says:

    Quiver, cloak and pelt….three of my favorite words. The other ninety seven were pretty damned good in their own right. Love when you flash us, Colorado.

    Like

  6. vbholmes says:

    Great story with good surprise ending! Interesting that you see ghosts as often as you do–I’ve had a couple of encounters, one of which inspired a story (http://vbreverb.wordpress.com/short stories/).
    I’ve just found your blog and am enjoying exploring it.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      It is weird since I hadn’t had any experiences until I visited my parents in Wisconsin. They live in a 100+ year-old house that was used as a mortuary at one time. Talk about haunted! After that, I have had one after another. Sometimes there have been lulls for almost a year, but they have been whooping it up for a while now…
      I will check out your story! Thanks!

      Like

      • Anonymous says:

        Most curious. Any connection between you and the mortuary (former residents, “clients”) other than your parents’ current ownership? I’m not really into ghosts but am fascinated by the possibility that they’ve followed you to an alien environment.

        Like

        • vbholmes says:

          Sorry, I sent the above comment but didn’t log in–

          Like

        • susielindau says:

          No relation. I had heard as we get older we may start having paranormal experiences and women are more sensitive. They definitely have followed me. Check out my about page and click on the link “some of my own experiences.” That will take you to my night at the Stanley which I could write a book about!
          Thanks for reading!

          Like

          • vbholmes says:

            Read your story about the Hotel Stanley–what fun to have successful sightings during your visit. Really weird that these ghosts are so predictably active. Good thing they’re benign–not like the spirits (and characters) in “The Shining”.

            Like

            • susielindau says:

              I kept telling my sister who organized the overnighter that nothing would happen and you couldn’t summon ghosts.. In my experience, they show up when they want to. I could not believe what happened. In fact we had pulled out a Ouija board and after a minute I pushed it and they all screamed, but that’s when the porch door opened at the end of the hall. So crazy and there were 4 of us who witnessed it. I am so glad that nothing except for picture frame has been destroyed. The weird thing is that I have only been frightened a couple of times. Usually it takes me a couple of minutes to process what I just saw! Thanks so much for reading it!

              Like

  7. Ben says:

    This kind of stuff creeps me out!

    Like

  8. Oh.. my god!! Did this happen to you?? That would be terrifying.. your fiction always surprises me.. I expected the “intruder” to turn into a little kitten or something funny! But a ghost!! Yikes!!

    Like

  9. Wonderful writing as always, Susie.

    I grew up in my great-grandmother’s 100 year old house and it was haunted. I always thought everyone could see and hear ghosts!

    Like

  10. Karmic Diva says:

    chills, chills and more chills!

    Like

  11. Debra Kristi says:

    Who ya gonna call? ;) But seriously, if they got to really bother you, you could try blocking them with your mind. That is,making a conscious decision not to see them. It may or may not work. It sounds like you like in a highly energized area. Of course, from what I’ve read, you don’t want to. So enjoy your visits. Your fiction piece was well done! I didn’t see that one coming. :)

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      It doesn’t work that way since they usually wake me up in the middle of the night. I hear something that wakes me and then see them before I know what is going on. It is different than a dream since I can see them in my room. Then they fade. I don’t really mind the sightings, but hate the noisy ones that I can hear over the humidifier. I finally screamed at them a couple of times and that worked until three nights ago. This really loud tapping on my dresser kept me from falling asleep as you can imagine. I turned the humidifier back on and have slept like a baby since!
      Thanks so much Debra! I will keep you posted…

      Like

      • Debra Kristi says:

        I thought it might work. I slammed the door on mine when he freaked me out. But I have noticed he moves things to get my attention from time to time. They usually show up where I’ve already looked. I just have to wait it out. Irritating.

        Like

  12. unfetteredbs says:

    this is awesome! Very chilling and mysterious in so few words..

    Like

  13. The Flash was great certainly captivated my attention. Excellent.
    Yes! Omg…when my father in law passed away my husband and I both had an encounter with a very vivid woman appearing. Clear enough for me to have the ability to give a description to a sketch artist….so bizarre. She came by 4 times…chilling.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      So glad you can relate to my experiences! I have seen many of them too! Some really stuck in my mind. I tried drawing a few of them, but couldn’t quite capture the image in my mind’s eye.
      Thanks so much!

      Like

  14. Wonderful Susie. Love these flash fictions. This one gave me the creeps.

    Like

  15. I have the chills – I had an experience at a B&B where the light in the bathroom flickered and then heard footsteps; my other half was still in bed with feet NOT on the ground – a little CREEPY – a friendly experience though. Have a Wonderful Weekend:)

    Like

  16. willofheart says:

    wow, it makes me ask for more words, short but captivating, love it…

    Like

  17. nelle says:

    How spooky!

    No ghosts, but then sometimes I serve as my own haunt.

    Like

  18. mj monaghan says:

    Cheeky little ghost! I don’t think I’ve ever had any ghostly encounters.

    Really liked the flow on this piece, Susie.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks MJ! Consider yourself lucky! You only have the normal things that keep you up at night. Snoring, nightmares, the Huskers going down in defeat.

      Like

      • mj monaghan says:

        Hey now!! Okay, I do have nightmares about the Huskers losing.

        On a side note, I think of you every time the news shows the wildfires. That is some crazy stuff. Hope all is well with you.

        Like

        • susielindau says:

          Thanks MJ! It was more frightening two days ago, but they started a controlled back burn that is causing a lot of smoke and I can barely make out the front range for all smoke. The wind kicked up which is not good. They were hoping to have this fire contained by tomorrow, but I don’t think that is happening. No structures have been burned.
          In Co. Springs 357 homes have burned down 2 people died and that fire is still burning. The one in Ft. Collins, just up the road, won’t be contained until the end of July.
          It just started raining…

          Like

  19. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Oh yes I did like this one, excellent. :D

    Like

  20. Is the person in the photo the husband? I love how you manage to add so many layers to such a short piece – juicy!

    Like

  21. Terrific – – I’ll be on the lookout for more.

    Like

  22. I think possibility reality of ghosts more probable than visits from aliens

    Like

  23. 8teen39 says:

    I am visited nightly in my dreams. Ghosts of the past. And fully awake once in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. Fueled by cannabis.

    Like

  24. tomwisk says:

    Scary good. No ghosts, but was visited by death once. The cowl, scythe and skull head. Didn’t pick me up. Probably checking for future reference.

    Like

  25. Pingback: I Guess That Ghosts Just Don’t Like Me | Word Play

  26. John says:

    Nice photo, good work as well on the fiction. Are you sure it’s fiction? Very gripping, Susie!

    Like

  27. gardenlilie says:

    Hi Susie! You’re so good at these minis. I’m a scaredy cat, but mostly these ghosts live in old places,right? Which by the way is where I’m at. So I took a nap a day or two ago and I’m dreaming about reading and next thing I know pages are flying on my dresser to a story. It’s windy out here so, that or a friendly little ghost was stopping by. ha ha. Oh I heard it is raining a little now in Colorado.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      It may have been a little visitor!
      Ghosts could be attracted to our area because of the minerals here. A lot of my neighbors have had experiences. We built our house. They could be attracted to me since I am open to them. The whole family has witnessed something or another. The ghosts that I have seen are from this century except for a lady in a black Victorian dress. She was really creepy.

      The weather forecasters have been wrong all week. They keep saying no chance for rain and then in the morning a big band of storms show up. I think everyone’s prayers are working!
      Thanks so much and have a great weekend!

      Like

      • gardenlilie says:

        Cool about the minerals, hadn’t heard that before. No we don’t want those Victorian ladies in black. Have a good one yourself.

        Like

        • susielindau says:

          I heard that theory when I went on the Stanley Hotel tour. Who knows for sure???? I know that these experiences are real. One time I kept waking up would see an iridescent green rectangle. I started laughing because it was so ridiculous. It happened a few times. A couple weeks later I went to book club and my neighbor said she started seeing rectangles in her house only she saw hers during the day and they were black shadows. I couldn’t believe it! That still gives me goosebumps!

          Like

  28. Real nice balance of eerie and erotic Susie! No, I have not had any personal encounters with ghosts yet Susie, but if Marilyn Monroe wants to pay me a visit, I’m all for it.

    Like

  29. Cool! Susie, I think this is my favorite 100 word flash of yours that I’ve read since I started following you. And you had a ghostly encounter just last night? Was this ghost guy less easily spooked than the one in your story? Does your husband have reason to be jealous?

    Well I’m jealous! And now you’re probably wondering why? You probably often wonder ‘why?’ many times and in many ways with me, and this is normal, since many people who know me, really wonder about me… Remember that old song ‘To Know Him is to Love Him’? Well, with me, it’s more like ‘To Know Him is to Wonder Why?’

    But yeah, I’m jealous. And the reason why, is that I’ve NEVER had a ghostly encounter, however much I’ve really wanted to have a ghostly encounter, but I’ve never had one – Not even one single time!

    But apparently you’ve had so many, that you’ve got enough material to write a book about it! Sigh! Life just isn’t fair…

    It’s not like I haven’t tried to have a ghostly encounter! I’ve done many hours of ghostly research, learned all their ghostly habits, and their favorite ghostly hang outs. I’ve spent many nights in places where other people have been frequently haunted by ghosts, but they never bother to haunt me. It’s depressing, and it just makes me feel paranormally unwanted…

    I dunno… maybe ghosts don’t like to appear to people like me, who instead of being scared, would be delighted to see them! Maybe ghosts think that I’d ask them lots of annoying questions, and ask them for their autographs, which may really annoy them!

    “You want my autograph?! In case you haven’t noticed, well I’m a flippin’ GHOST! And ghosts are supposed to be mysterious, unknown, very subtle, causing a vague but increasing sense of dread, building up to a sudden crescendo of supernatural terror! But people like you just ruin all that… and just so you know, ghosts DON’T sign autographs! I mean, really! Can’t you just chase celebrities instead of chasing ghosts? It’s really what people like you should be doing, so please just go do it right now, and leave us ghosts alone!”

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Chris! Okay where do I start.. No, Danny isn’t jealous and my experience with being touched was more like a thwack! Women are supposed to be more sensitive to them. I had never seen any until about 8 years ago and they haven’t left me alone for long since. Well there have been a few times when I slept soundly for months! This last year has been insane.

      I used to want to see them. I would wake in the middle of the night and look around, but it doesn’t work that way. You see them when they want you to or when they are making a racket.

      I recently screamed at them to leave me alone since I couldn’t sleep through the night and it was quiet for almost 2 weeks …..

      I have only been afraid when they seemed menacing and stared right at me.
      Be careful what you wish for…OooOooooOOOOOOOoooo
      Thanks so much Chris!

      Like

      • Hmm… if it wasn’t for the fact that you and I are both married, and not to each other, I’d suggest that we live together, and share the same bedroom. No, not for THAT reason… I mean that with MY track record of never seeing ghosts, if I was there with you, well I’d bet the ranch that you’d never sense even the tiniest hint of a supernatural presence ever again – never mind see or hear any ghosts!

        These ghostly entities avoid me like most teenagers avoid responsibility! When I’m around, ghosts are about as likely to make an appearance, as Chris Rock is likely to do a stand up gig at a Klan rally! It’s just NOT gonna happen!

        But… I don’t think that our respective spouses would like this idea very much, however well intentioned, so I guess it’s not gonna happen either, however much I just know that I could help you with your ghost issues.

        But seriously, and I mean it this time, if you are having ghostly experiences to the point that it’s upsetting you, is there anything that can be done? I know there are people in the profession of resolving ghost problems in the home, but if you went that route, you should get lots of references, because obviously there’s lots of scam artists out there.

        Just want you to know that in spite of all my humor, I’m taking you seriously. While I’ve never even come close to seeing a ghost, my cousin had an “experience” while visiting my mother… My mother is an antique collector, and she was playing a music box from the 1860s. While the music box was playing, my cousin’s face suddenly drained of all color with an expression of absolute terror, and she ran out of the room.

        To this day, despite our concern and the many questions family members have asked her about what happened that day… she refuses to say not so much as one single word about it.

        Like

        • susielindau says:

          Wow I think your cousin saw a ghost!

          Danny can hear them, but not see them, so being with me wouldn’t matter.

          It was getting really annoying and I had heard about salt so I put out a bunch of dishes, but I am not sure that was the reason the banger stopped. I have also heard of burning sage. I think they sense that I am fascinated and will keep on pestering me no matter what I do.

          You can’t call them like they do on TV shows. No way. That is so stupid.. They don’t perform like circus animals. “Tap three times.” Sheesh. Believe me I have tried to “summon” them. They show up when they want. Luckily I never see them during the day. That would freak me out!

          I was just upstairs in my daughter’s room and there was a bang that came from inside her shower. That’s pretty typical.

          It’s always an adventure on the Wild Ride!

          Like

          • I’m certain that my cousin saw a ghost, and the most convincing reason why, is her refusal to ever talk about it.

            Me being with you wouldn’t matter? Now that’s kinda harsh, Susie, dontcha think? (Kidding!!! And Danny if you see this, REALLY kidding!!! lol)

            Your ways to get ghosts to be quiet and stop bothering you are interesting, even if not what will help with my problem, since I WANT some noisy and bothersome ghosts in my life! Lol ;-)

            You can’t call them? They don’t perform like circus animals? They show up when they want, and they are the most active at night?

            Susie, are we still taking about ghosts? Or are we now talking about cats? Lol ;-) Kidding! Although it’s probably just as difficult to herd ghosts, as it is to herd cats, so there are some similarities. Maybe I’ll try putting out an open can of tuna fish tonight, and see if any ghosts come running in after it… Lol

            And ya see here, what might be the REAL problem with me and ghosts? I probably keep pissing them off by doing things like comparing them to cats, and they hate my jokes!

            Yeah, well I’ve been in the humor business for quite a few years now, and I’ve grown a pretty thick skin, so I can deal with that. I know that not everyone out there is always gonna love my act, both in the living and paranormal crowds… I can accept that.

            But now here’s what I’ve got a problem with, and yes, I’m talking to YOU Casper! If you don’t like my jokes, then at least show some real “spirit” and HECKLE ME!!! What’s wrong Casper? Cat got your tongue? Huh? Now don’t tell me that YOU are afraid of ME? Is that what’s really goin’ on here? You’re afraid that if you heckle me, that I’ll blow you away with a barrage of rapid fire and humiliating comebacks? Huh?

            Well then just forget the whole thing, cause now I don’t WANT to see you anymore! I thought that you ghosts were real cool and scary, but I’m onto you now, Casper! You’re not scary! You’re just scared… (shakes head in disgust – walks away)

            Like

  30. I’m sleeping with the light on tonight Susie! Just the right amount of scary.

    Like

  31. Sigh Susie.. I would not mind that one..:)

    “ran his pale fingertip along her warm thigh”

    Like

  32. Nice! You paint a beautiful and chilling picture!

    Like

  33. tedstrutz says:

    You set a mood with the very first few words… watching from a corner. A pale fingertip… he was already gone… ghostly description. I liked the photo, with the ‘framed photograph’ peeking out and not the center of attention. Nice song tie in… I’ll be watching you… and a nice way to start the day. So many ways to interpret this ghost story. I’m impressed.

    Will your new book include dancing?

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks so much Ted! We have been having afternoon thunderstorms (which have really helped the firefighters) so I thought I would try to create a creepy mood in my flash this week.
      Love Sting and have “watched” him in concert a few times.
      It should include dancing! I hadn’t though about that! Great idea!
      Have a wonderful weekend!

      Like

  34. Pretty scary. Nice: “scanning the darkness that cloaked her quarters.” Good writing

    Like

  35. :shock: Hey Susie really !!
    Loved it but very scary specially cos you have had such encounter

    what a brilliant write up

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      Thanks so much Soma! We got rid of our banging ghost, but something or other tapped (with something metal) several times on the granite dresser top next to my bed and I just about jumped out of my skin!

      Like

  36. koco says:

    So compelling, you had the anxiety pitched just right. I want to read more…

    Like

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