A Twisted Tale – Flash Fiction

Alice hurried along the path of the ancient forest in fading light. Listening to her elders and obeying were two different things and now she was hungry and lost.

As night descended, fog slithered like silent serpents through the understory. She stopped in her tracks as it wrapped around her narrow ankles and swallowed the trail.

While reconsidering the fork one mile back, Alice noticed a twinkling light in the distance. She trotted towards it.

In the twilight, the thatch-roofed cottage appeared inviting and the scent of baked apples lured her to the threshold. She knocked twice and waited.

A white-haired old woman cracked open the door, peeked out at her and screamed.

Alice growled and burst through the entry, gobbling the pie with one bite. Her bushy tail wagged in delight.

Her elders never could understand why Alice chose to be a vegetarian.

What is your favorite fairy tale?

Photo by Maggie Duncan of the Fictioneers.

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About susielindau

I am a Boulder, Colorado writer and artist who loves adventure both real and imagined. Come with me. It's always a Wild Ride!
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87 Responses to A Twisted Tale – Flash Fiction

  1. tedstrutz says:

    Good one… fooled me. Clever about the animal vegetarian. And I liked the name Alice.

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  2. Debra Kristi says:

    Hahahaha! That’s awesome. You know, I’ve been watching the first season of “Grim” and saw an episode the other night that this reminds me of. :D I was thinking about it as I was reading your piece. Your words brought the visuals to mind. Love that twist.

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  3. B. L. Crisp says:

    Haha… very interesting! On another note, I’m always amazed at your ability to write, to follow, to comment, and to respond. You’re a true blogging gem within this digital sphere :)

    Like

  4. Cute and twisted; I like.
    Scott

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  5. I love the twist. My kind of story.

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  6. Angelia Sims says:

    Excellent twist! Loved your description of the fog.

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  7. JKBradley says:

    You tricked me, Susie!

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  8. LOVE is an understatement! Spooky with a sense of humor…I’m in. Keep them coming. The last line made me laugh because I am dieting and could easily be Alice with that pie!

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    • susielindau says:

      I am thinking of doing a series of twisted tales from the original stories we grew up with. We’ll see.
      I was hungry for the slab apple cake sitting on the kitchen counter when I wrote this! Hahaha!
      Thanks so much!

      Like

  9. ha ha ha brilliant..hey i didnt know Alice had gone vegeterian way. :lol:
    what a brilliant story Susie :)

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  10. mj monaghan says:

    Nice, Susie. Surprised me with the pie (apple is my favorite pie, btw) and the tale.

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  11. glossarch says:

    That would be something people would talk about for generations!

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  12. Twisted is right. You twisted it wonderfully!!

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  13. vbholmes says:

    I guess I’m past the fairy tale stage of my life–I thought Alice was a female werewolf which made the vegetarian designation even more bizarre.

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  14. The Hook says:

    Twisted but awesome!

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  15. nelle says:

    Good story… favourite? Hmmm… so many of them were spooky, and I didn’t care for spooky.

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  16. elmowrites says:

    Great story, the “trotting” made me wonder what was going on here, and the tail finished it off for me – a cute twist indeed!
    If I had one concrit, it would be that the lines about the elders felt a tiny bit clumsy in what is quite a fast-paced piece, I’m wondering if there is some way you could merge this information in better, but I haven’t any concrete suggestions i’m afraid.

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  17. At first I thought it was Hansel and Gretel remade. I love the bushy tailed subterfuge :-)

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  18. I love it, Alice the Vegan Wolf. I liked both Grimms’ Fairy Tales and the Canterbury Tales very much when I was a youngster, not that I have much recollection of any of them now that I’m an oldster with a severe case of CRS (Can’t Remember Shit).

    Like

  19. That w as a cute story and I never saw the ending coming.

    Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella

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  20. Very nice Susie. I may have to try this.

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  21. poeplace says:

    You had me at twisted tale. Although your twisted tales is a little less controversial than the ones I write, I like it.

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  22. Bumba says:

    Lone wolf who likes pie. It worked.

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  23. I didn’t even notice when you said ‘trot towards’ that was awesome!

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  24. Nifti says:

    Heehee. Very nice Susie. Lovely twist. And and fun fun story to read. See mine: http://niftitalks.com/2012/08/23/misty-eyes/

    Like

  25. sfbell09 says:

    Excellent tale! Brought a smile to my face. Very nice description of the woods too! Favorite Fairy tale…mmm not sure. Jack and the Bean Stalk, Hansel and Gretel both come to mind first.

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    • susielindau says:

      Those are great ones. I am thinking of doing a series of twisted tales based on the classics. This would be my twist on Little Red Riding Hood.
      Thanks so much SF! Smiling is good.. :)

      Like

  26. erinleary says:

    A surprise twist at the end. Always a fun wake up call to the reader’s assumptions. Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/flash-friday-fiction-13/

    Like

  27. I love the rhyme at the end. :) Fun story, Susie! I’m not sure what my favorite fairy tail is, but Cinderella holds a special place in my heart.

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  28. I should have got the hint when I read “trotted” but it took me to the end of the story to realise Alice wasn’t a child!

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  29. Mike says:

    A wonderful piece of writing Susie. So much in just 100 words.
    I loved some of your descriptions, such as, “As night descended, fog slithered like silent serpents through the understory. She stopped in her tracks as it wrapped around her narrow ankles and swallowed the trail.” Some great imagery here.
    While the elders couldn’t understand her vegetarian leanings I bet the white haired old woman was glad of them.

    Like

  30. unspywriter says:

    Very cool! I loved the alliteration: “slithered like silent serpents,” and the twist at the end was great. Thanks for a great story from my photo.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/pillar-of-salt/

    Like

  31. Sandra says:

    Fooled me. Good one.

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  32. gardenlilie says:

    Cute and funny. So I am always looking for ‘the moral of the story or meaning’ and I don’t know why, let’s blame that on childhood. lol. The fork, the fog and the twinklin’ lights and with that you have put a nice spin on an old tale. In other stuff, may I ask you a ? I see you have a copyright for your blog, do I need a copyscape or something like that? Can anyone take something if you don’t have that there? Thanks.

    Like

    • susielindau says:

      WordPress has one that you can copy and modify to put on your blog. I think the copyright dissuades people from stealing material. If I ever found one of my stories under another author’s name in a published book for sale, they would hear from me.
      I have heard that since you “publish” your blog, it is automatically copyrighted. But I read recently where you should send them in to be copyrighted. The jury is out on that one. Pun intended…..I’ll let you know what I find out.
      Thanks Lilie!

      Like

    • gardenlilie says:

      Susie…I forgot to answer the ? My favorite fairytale…there are so many, but snow white, three little pigs or pinocchio come to mind. The saddest one is the little match girl by far.

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      • susielindau says:

        The vivid imagery of those stories just popped right into my head when reading your titles. They really did shape my perspective of the world when growing up. Thanks for coming back and sharing!

        Like

  33. I didn’t see that end coming Susie.

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  34. Hahahahahaha. Very clever! A vegetarian wolf? Ripe Thanks for the early morning chuckle.

    http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

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  35. You’re great, Susie. As usual, neat little twist at the end :-) Hey, maybe she has desert before the main course, LOL.
    Fav, ??? too many to pick one :-)

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  36. Thank goodness it wasn’t hair pie. It wasn’t, right?

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