Oh No! It Happened Overnight

As I sat on the examining table with a tennis injury to my left hamstring, the nurse practitioner diagnosed a list of other problems with my body. And then it hit me right between my headlights. After gaining a bit of mileage, I have become a high maintenance vehicle.

It was as if I had been transported to an auto repair shop for an oil change and was informed that I needed major overhaul!

Reason for service:

Blown tire – torn hamstring.

Recommended service – 4 weeks of physical therapy.

5 point inspection at physical therapy:

Rack and pinion assembly misaligned: My pelvis is twisted down on the left side and up on the right. I had noticed that I have no waistline on the left side. Now I know why.

Steering column pulls to one direction. My rib cage swings to the right. When wearing dresses or t-shirts, the neckline always gravitates to the right. I had made the assumption that one boob was bigger than the other. Not so! It is because of a lifetime of standing with my weight on my right leg.

Recommended service: Daily left core exercise along with putting weight on my left leg instead.

Length of repair: A few weeks to see improvement and a lifetime of daily exercise to prevent a recurrence.

Check up after service:

Worn ball joint: The nurse moved my good leg and angled it to the left and then to the right. “Doesn’t that hurt at all?” I shook my head. Then she said,That’s weird.” Weird is bad.

I was informed that my ball-joint is missing an important part: A muscle. My ligaments are tight around my knee, but a muscle seems to have fallen off my chassis after hitting a pothole somewhere along the way.

Recommended service: Back to the physical therapist to get another list of lifelong exercises to keep my knee from buckling.

Other diagnosis:

Timing belt is out of sync. Well, that has been obvious on more than several occasions.

Spark plugs need to be replaced. Duh!

Tires balanced. I have always been a little “unbalanced.” Ask anyone.

One wiper blade is malfunctioning. I sleep with one eye open. Need I say more?

Shocks and struts show wear. It could be from getting low on the dance floor. I need a lube job – stat!

Various body defects, pits, and cracks. Hey! Be nice!

The big difference between your car and your body is time and effort. It may be a pain to leave your car in the shop for a week, but hey, it comes back as good as new. Your body, well mine at least, will take a lifetime of exercise maintenance, so I can continue to be a wild rider. Yep, a lifetime.

My husband Danny said, “Next time you go in for a check-up, be sure to get a warranty.”

What kind of car are you?

All photos by Susie Lindau taken with a Droid Razr phone

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Filed under Humor, Life, Photography

105 responses to “Oh No! It Happened Overnight

  1. Elizabeth Neuhoff

    You make me laugh. 2 yrs ago, I started going to a chiropractor to help relieve a herniated disc in my neck 2 yrs ago (THAT happened carrying a crew shell on my head when I started rowing and he did save me from surgery). He also keeps my hips straight (apparently favoring my right side does not fare well with the hip bones.) I need that when my right foot starts to flop on the pavement as I run. Now, I am getting into SUP-boarding and trying a month of Pure Barre and, of course, my shoulder (which I hurt trying karate years ago) and my knee (which I hurt skiing in 7th grade and still gives me occasional reminders) both are in Aleve mode.
    Although, I see myself as a a sports car, I think I may be an older model SUV with too many miles, a weird clicking sound in the engine that can’t be pinpointed, and a right passenger side window that no longer goes up and down BUT, somehow, keeps running in spite!

    • Beth! It is so great to see you!
      I love the way you describe your “car!” Too funny! This is quite a list and yet I can’t help noticing there are probably some pretty good stories that go along with those injuries! I am going to look up SUP boarding. I hope it is closer to wake or skate boarding than water-boarding! :)
      Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Hehehe! I love this. Hmmm. What kind of car am I? One that needs a lot of service that’s for sure. Although, I take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. :D

  3. I could certainly do with a complete panel beating and spraypaint job … mechanically sound, though!

  4. OMG Susie :shock:
    oh well i am a car which breaks down every now and then but most of the times just needs a hard kick at the rear to get started…

  5. Haha… you’re so creative with your posts… Mind, body and spirit need to be developed and worked at together. ;)

  6. Eek! I know the feeling too. I’ve been seeing a chiropractor for a few years now and it’s helped tremendously. I was soooo out of alignment before.

    • I had always stayed away from chiropractors until I went to a massage therapist and asked about a rib that hurt. She told me it had popped out of place and I should go right into a chiropractor. I did and he popped it back! I only went 2 more times. I am doing my physical therapy and that has really strengthened my core. I just need to keep on top of the maintenance to stay on the road!

  7. Great article. So funny!
    Of course, I’d like to believe that I am a sport BMW model… but I am probably a Skoda pick-up truck :)

  8. FUN! Love the car analogy. Just remember the old classics are the valuable ones!

  9. And here I was thinking all I had to worry about were wrinkles and gray hair!

    • It just gets better and better! Hahaha! I’m pretty hard on my body. Use it or lose it! Wait…..Is that right?
      I remember an episode of Eerie, Indiana where twin boys never aged because the slept in Tupperware containers!

  10. Julie Catherine

    OMG, that was hilarious! (Not the injuries, sorry about those) My ‘vehicle’ is seeking replacement parts … it would have been sent to car heaven years ago, but my mechanic said the computer system in it was working so well it would be a shame to see the body on a junk heap – so now I just get it towed every time I need to go someplace … at least until the computer system malfunctions! LOL! Loved this post, it cracked me up! :D

    • Thanks Julie! I think everyone can relate on some level! As long as my joints don’t wear out, I am good to go. It is the normal wear and tear on the body that becomes a little more apparent as I put on the miles! :)

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  12. Oh … My … God. This was hilarious. You had me cracking up! Cracking up! This was such a funny analogy. And yes I agree with you when you’re at the doctor’s office you really don’t want to hear … hmph weird. Weird is not a good sign. But so glad that things will be getting better. Me? I’m a classic car … like a 67 Mustang. I’m cherry, badass, and my engine rocks. But heaven forbid I get into an accident … then I’m just a big eye sore. :)

    • So funny! (I somehow missed these comments earlier…)
      She did say “weird,” and I have heard it before after my lasik surgery.
      I love the classic car idea! Danny says I am a little sports car, but I think more on the lines of a small sports utility vehicle. Maybe a Range Rover.
      Thanks Guat!

  13. You might be feeling a little dented at the moment, Susie, but you can still bust a move like nobody’s business! (I’d like to be one of those sleek little audi convertible two seaters – red, of course – but I’ve got more minivan in me than I’d care to admit!)

    • Hahaha! Thanks so much. Well at least I get out there! A for effort anyway. :)
      Minivan I love it! An Audi two-seater sounds fantastic…I think I may be more of a Toyota 4-Runner!

  14. I’d say I feel your pain, but I’m pretty sure that’s my own. Welcome to seeing the hill.

  15. I feel your pain…and any aches, twinges, soreness, and as-of-yet unidentified ‘issues’ you may have. But glad to read that you’re on the mend…btw, if you paid for your sessions with a visa you should get at least a bit of an extended warranty on your body…that’s the way it works, right?

  16. so that’s what is the matter with me…LOL thanks Susie

  17. This post made me feel all my aches and pains! Poor you. I think I’m in about as rough shape, though, if it’s any consolation. I’m definitely the rusting car squeaking along hoping for a miracle.

    • Ohhh no! Just keep exercising. That is the key, especially core strength. I had sort of relaxed on it. pun intended…I hope you are back on the road soon!
      Thanks so much for reading!

  18. haa great post and I feel ya. Sigh tough when the mileage starts piling on.

  19. Susie- I’m a lot like my flat bed truck. I take a pounding and never mind it year after year. Until I get that “Oh Shit” bill from my mechanic.
    Seriously, hoping all is well on your end (pun kinda intended).
    PS- I guess this means our prize fight will have to be rescheduled.

    • This injury is 6 weeks old so I think I am ready to chase balls again. I am going to try on Thursday! That mechanic can be pricey!

      Prize fight??? You crack me up Cayman! It wouldn’t be fair to you,

  20. The problem is birthdays. You need to stop having birthdays.

    Oh, and stop going to the doctor. That’s where everything starts to go wrong. They want to fix you. They’re weird like that. If you never go to the doctor, you never have to fix anything. Saves time. Saves money.

    It’s interesting that you post this today. I just traded in my 2003 Subaru with over 214,000 miles on it for a brand new 2012 Nissan Rogue with 14 miles on it. That’s how I fix my car problems. Wish my body was as simple.

    Chin up, Susie! You’re alive and still kicking. You have options. Those are GOOD things. So you’re a little under lubricated and have less horse power than before. So what! Your blog is still one of the best and that’s all that matters!

    Hang in there.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • Hahaha! Thank you so much!
      I am doing great after 6 weeks of rehab. I plan to hit the courts on Thursday. The irony is that getting that list of exercise should prevent my left side injuries, so I don’t have to go in again for a while. But I didn’t get a warranty. Dang!

  21. Ouch, Susie! I wish I couldn’t relate, but I can. I like to look at the exercises as insurance…that I’ll still be an active 95 year old woman. :)

  22. The only vehicle where regular tune-ups (exercise) can be a hazard. Hope you mend up soon :).

  23. Sorry about your injury, hope you are on the mend soon. I must say I love the photos…big laugh from me. Somedays I feel like I just rolled off the lot, other days I’m begging for the wrecking ball to come my way. All part of the process I guess…

    • Big wrecking ball is right! It happened 6 weeks ago so I really babied it and am ready to go back to tennis. We’ll see how it goes… I’ll take it easy, but it is hard not to sprint!
      Thanks so much! It is funny how I was just talking about the idea of this post and I found these junkers in Breckenridge near a recycle center. Then I spotted the fancy car on the highway!
      I love your “rolled off the lot” comment! I am going to visualize that this week!
      Thanks again!

  24. I fancy myself a sleek sport coupe but alas, it is not so. Great post. Good luck with the overhaul.

  25. You do know that this is just the beginning, right?

    • I know what you mean but, I think this is the beginning of a stronger me! :) I have always had one of those bodies that gets pulled muscles and I have had a lot of injuries, so finally I am doing something about it! It is amazing how little habits can be our undoing.
      Thanks so much Terri!

      • Oh you know I’m just joking – sort of. I’m not complaining, since I feel better than I did 20 years ago, even with all the little bits that are wearing out. I now have the strength of character to make up for them!

        • Definitely! Hahaha! And isn’t that strange when you think about it? I was in terrible shape in my mid-twenties!

          Strength of character goes a long ways!

          The cool thing is that doctors are able to get us back on the road again much more quickly as they gain a better understanding of our bodies. My PT is a miracle worker!

  26. Sorry about the wear and tear you’ve been experiencing. But I have no doubt you’ll be better than new in no time. Your wild-riding exuberance knows no bounds, Susie! Thanks for another uplifting post. :D

    • Thanks so much Mary! I am on the road to recovery! Hahaha!
      There are a million puns…
      I guess we all run into some obstacles along the way. It is just a matter of whether we let them side-line us or use it as a way to strengthen ourselves. Wild riding is right!
      Thanks again Mary!

  27. Love your body/car comparisons. Going by that, I should probably be in the junkyard. I look back at all the things I did when I was young and spry – jumping off buildings into an old mattress, falling off horses or out of trees, taking judo, the list goes on – and think that its probably a wonder my body parts aren’t in worse shape. I figure if I want to live as long as my grandmother who never spent a night in the hospital until she was 100 (she made it to 102) , I’m going to have to be more careful for the next 34 years or so. The original chassis is gradually being replaced (new knees, plate in my neck) or patched up (shoulder) and I’m on a first name basis with all the therapists at the therapy place. They like me because I do all my exercises there and at home. I guess a lot of people don’t. It’s not fun, but I figure my body is getting even with me now for all the fun I had earlier in life.

  28. What an hilarious post, but sorry you’re injured!

  29. August McLaughlin

    Torn hamstring? Youch!! Hope you’re feeling better.

    I’m the kind of car that keeps going no matter what (sometimes when nreaks and tune ups are necessary) and gets dirty without my noticing. LOL

    • I am better! Thanks! It was injured 6 weeks ago and I am going back to tennis this week. PT has become part of my routine, so I can keep going too! Now if I could just do something about these dents….. :)

  30. lynnkelleyauthor

    Oh my gosh, Susie, so sorry to hear about all the things you need physical therapy on and the other stuff. Yep, it’s a gas getting old, isn’t it? You seem to be in excellent physical health to me. This is such a cool analogy, and I love those photos. Did you add those special effects yourself? Those are so cool. What kind of car am I? An old rusty, clunker. So why in the world is my insurance so dang high. I thought the rates were supposed to get lower, the older the car is.

    • Thanks so much Lynn!
      I love it! The rates should go down along with the value of the car. I guess that our rates get higher because we are so valuable! :)
      I did the effects and took the picture of that wildly painted car on our way back from the CU game! I love that new trend!
      I am really in pretty good shape, thank you! I am going back to my wild life and will keep working at it so I can stay injury-free!

  31. Stop looking at yourself as an auto in need of repair. How about, a classic in need of gentle care and regular lubrication.

  32. Growing old ain’t for wimps. When the doctor finds something wrong, all you can do is cooperate. After all, it’s your body.

  33. There it is again. The invitation for wild thoughts. Other than the torn pork hamstring that took you to the flat, hard bed of bad news, I have no doubt you’ll continue to rock the wild side and the dance floor.

    Sleeping with one eye open, tho’? That’s just plain weird, Susie.

    • Hahaha! You are right about the dance floor! In fact I hope to really be able to hit it hard in the bumps this year when skiing too! I am back to tennis this Thursday.
      Sleeping with one eye open is a weird one! I had to write about that doctor’s visit! It is absolutely true except for reading the patent on the bottom of the eye chart. – a little embellishment there… :)
      Thanks Gloria!

  34. I don’t like the fact that my major bookkeeping process is not keeping up with the medical files – gurr. And, yes – I would sure like an extended warranty. I hear you loud and clear.

  35. Susie, you are a dream! What a fun and positive way to view your physical, um, diagnosis. With your spirit I’m sure these repairs won’t be much of an issue. Thanks for the giggle (as I sit in the waiting room of my dermatologist getting prepped for laser treatment). It seems appropriate, somehow!

    • Thanks so much Tameri!
      I am working hard and have finally committed to exercising every day! Sheesh! It was really so simple once I learned what I needed to do to straighten out my bumper and front end alignment! Hahaha!
      I am so envious! I would love to try laser! Let me know how it goes!

  36. I love your outlook on all of this! Normally this would be a big disappointment and setback but you find the funny in it and I know you’ll be working hard to keep maintain your “vehicle”. :)

  37. Oh No!!! No dancing videos in our near future!

    Well, it’s good to find those things out. That was a good nurse… I too would have checked you out thoroughly. Now do what the PT tells you to.

    • Of course there will be dancing! I wasn’t able to dance a couple of weeks ago. I should be in better shape than I was years ago after all the therapy. I am a good listener. :)
      I start tennis again this week! You can’t keep this Wild Rider down Ted! OooooOOO! OOoooOOO!

  38. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this, but you’re not alone. I also have back problems and need to do certain exercises to keep my lower back strong. Yoga also helps. Sadly, we’re not getting any younger and then me, and you as well, being so active and lively, it’s not fair, not fair I say!!! *walks away screaming with fists up in the air in signs of protest*

    • Thanks M! I am sorry to hear about your back.
      I have short muscles and tendons so even when I was in grade school and ran timed races, I died the next day with pulled muscles! Of course it never occurred to me to warm up before or after. It has taken me a lifetime to realize that I have to take the time!
      Luckily I am catching all of this in time before I have done any irreparable damage. But God knows how much I would get on a “trade-in.” Hahaha!

  39. Yikes! Good luck on all those “repairs.” I love your sense of humor about it. That sometimes makes all the difference. ;)

    • It does make a difference! :) I always exaggerate when laughing at myself, but I really have been happy with the exercises and their results. Now I am working on building the right knee. I have the incentive of ski season coming up!
      Thanks so much Denise!

  40. It happens to the best of us: I have bad hip wear now with too much running in an earlier life. Perhaps we should ‘trade ourselves in’ for newer models!

    • As long as my husband doesn’t, I am A-ok! Hahaha!
      I know what you mean, but am amazed at the results of the physical therapy.. I am really looking forward to skiing season this year!
      Hips pain can be the worst nagging pain. I hope you have a pain-free day Oyia! Thanks for stopping by!

  41. Girl. You old. ;-)
    Don’t worry, antiques get better with age. They just have to be handled with care. ;-) Great post!

    • I’m NOT old! …yet….sheesh!
      Actually, this will be my first week back to playing tennis! Yeah! I do have to be careful since I’ve been running, but haven’t tried sprinting…. :) Hey, I may end up in better shape than I have been in years since I will be getting the shimmy out of my front end alignment!

  42. Heh, the older one gets the more work it takes. I do a half hour on a stationary bike six nights a week, it helps. Of course, I read whilst working arms and legs. Leave it to me to find words in it.

  43. Sometimes it gets tempting to just leave the car in the garage… the repairs get costly and demoralizing. But then you start thinking about the open road and the scenery and…

  44. Dang. Sorry about the hamstring. The rest of it? Pshaw. OK, I’m not dissing the exercises or diagnoses, I’m no expert in that department — but we’re way beyond cars. How about self-evolving Wraith space ships? I think it was the Wraith ships that could self-evolve. Oh well, you get what I mean. Mere mortal PTs and MDs barely understand these chassis. They’re like a Stargate Atlantis crew wandering around the pulsating halls in their space suits and headlamps. “Don’t you see, this expedition is the biggest Hail Mary in history!” Best wishes and happy healing.

    • LOVE IT! The biggest Hail Mary in history is right! Hahaha! It’s true about what they understand. I try to listen to my body! Self-evolving Wraith Space ships sound like a lot more fun too!
      Thanks so much JBW for your hilarious comment! :)

  45. I’ve had an experience like this. Hurt my leg running and at the Physical Therapist’s initial exam I got a laundry list of items too. Great merging of pictures and auto mechanic defects with your tale today!

  46. See? Now, that’s what I am talking about. Though, with me, I woke up after 10 days in the hospital and was thoroughly messed up. Two years to fix up and now stuff to do forever to keep it from happening again, but worse.

  47. Egad! Hope you’re getting all that tended to!
    I’m an old beat up pickup that keeps on going, even though there’s no logical reason it should.

  48. Hilarious! I would like to believe I am a shiny new Honda accord: docile, reliable with classical good looks, but I know I am just a Hooptie in the making!

  49. I must admit I check in for regular pit stops in the hope I can continue to be a stand-in for the Energizer Bunny. I hope you add yoga to your Recommended Service and are back lapping everyone on the track before long!

    • I love the Energizer Bunny! Regular pit stops! Hahaha! That’s exactly what they are. I will be back at it this week, but probably not full out. Yoga is the best and I need to start back in a routine. Thanks Patricia! I hope your road is smooth and free from potholes today! :)

  50. I love this! Great way to post, and I would be a rusty old clunker that’s missing a muffler and has rusty sheet metal swinging in the breeze as I go down the road. Being from Wisconsin, you know what I mean about those rusty clunkers that ought not be on the road… Hope you get better Susie. :)

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