Oh No! It Happened Overnight

As I sat on the examining table with a tennis injury to my left hamstring, the nurse practitioner diagnosed a list of other problems with my body. And then it hit me right between my headlights. After gaining a bit of mileage, I have become a high maintenance vehicle.

It was as if I had been transported to an auto repair shop for an oil change and was informed that I needed major overhaul!

Reason for service:

Blown tire – torn hamstring.

Recommended service – 4 weeks of physical therapy.

5 point inspection at physical therapy:

Rack and pinion assembly misaligned: My pelvis is twisted down on the left side and up on the right. I had noticed that I have no waistline on the left side. Now I know why.

Steering column pulls to one direction. My rib cage swings to the right. When wearing dresses or t-shirts, the neckline always gravitates to the right. I had made the assumption that one boob was bigger than the other. Not so! It is because of a lifetime of standing with my weight on my right leg.

Recommended service: Daily left core exercise along with putting weight on my left leg instead.

Length of repair: A few weeks to see improvement and a lifetime of daily exercise to prevent a recurrence.

Check up after service:

Worn ball joint: The nurse moved my good leg and angled it to the left and then to the right. “Doesn’t that hurt at all?” I shook my head. Then she said, “That’s weird.” Weird is bad.

I was informed that my ball-joint is missing an important part: A muscle. My ligaments are tight around my knee, but a muscle seems to have fallen off my chassis after hitting a pothole somewhere along the way.

Recommended service: Back to the physical therapist to get another list of lifelong exercises to keep my knee from buckling.

Other diagnosis:

Timing belt is out of sync. Well, that has been obvious on more than several occasions.

Spark plugs need to be replaced. Duh!

Tires balanced. I have always been a little “unbalanced.” Ask anyone.

One wiper blade is malfunctioning. I sleep with one eye open. Need I say more?

Shocks and struts show wear. It could be from getting low on the dance floor. I need a lube job – stat!

Various body defects, pits, and cracks. Hey! Be nice!

The big difference between your car and your body is time and effort. It may be a pain to leave your car in the shop for a week, but hey, it comes back as good as new. Your body, well mine at least, will take a lifetime of exercise maintenance, so I can continue to be a wild rider. Yep, a lifetime.

My husband Danny said, “Next time you go in for a check-up, be sure to get a warranty.”

What kind of car are you?

All photos by Susie Lindau taken with a Droid Razr phone