Letting You In On Ten Little Secrets

Danny and I celebrated our 25th anniversary on October 10th. Many have asked, “What’s your secret to a successful marriage?”

Here are my top ten list:

Secret #1:

You have to be willing to go the extra mile or 1000 like I did when I moved from Wisconsin to Colorado after our wedding. Danny is the most romantic guy around. He asked me to marry him at the top of the gondola in Aspen after giving me 9 plastic rings over the weekend. He continues to surprise me. “Gasp!”

Secret #2:

He’s my best friend and I don’t keep secrets from him. I can tell him anything, but I can also read his mind when it’s screaming, “That is way too much information Susie! Sheesh!”

Secret #3.

I can trust him with anything, but it took years to teach him not to eat the last piece of cake without asking me to split it first….

Secret #4.

We have a lot in common. I had skied back in Wisconsin, but had to learn to keep up in Colorado. We both love outdoor adventures. Our anniversary is being celebrated for a week this year in California. We both agree that the best kind of adventure includes travel!

Secret #5:

Appreciate the differences. I am philosophical and can tell when he has hit the glaze-over stage. My first clue is when he stares at me blankly and hasn’t said anything for over a half an hour. Yes. I take a breath!

He loves business and has learned to talk fast since I have about 3 minutes before my mind begins to wander off… “Hey! Look at that butterfly. What? Yeah. I was listening…”

Secret #6.

He’s my super fan. When I first started blogging, he printed out my posts and kept them in a binder. He has total belief in me which inspired Who’s In Your Corner?

We support each other’s hopes and dreams and pick each other up after every disappointment. Often, when I make a mistake, he says, “Aw. That could happen to anyone.”

Secret #7:

Apologizing is tricky especially since I am always right. Kidding! I think it has more to do with letting things go and developing amnesia. Both of us are very forgiving, forgetful, and apologetic.

Secret #8:

We have given up trying to change accept each other for who we are. He has seen me at my best and worst and still loves me. Who could ask for more?

Secret #9:

We had the same beliefs and shared our dreams for a future together. In Telluride 25 years ago, I told him my invisible punch list of what I was looking for in a relationship. He agreed with almost everything! He wasn’t so sure about dogs, but our third, Roxy, is his favorite by far.

He has been completely involved in raising our children. They love to talk business with him – thank the Lord! (See Secret #5)

Secret #10: 

The most important factor in having a successful marriage is …..

You gotta have a sense of humor. We laugh all the time; at ourselves and each other.

When I was pregnant, he used to sing, “Roly Poly, Daddy’s little fatty!” Okay. I didn’t always find that amusing…but looking back it was funny… kinda.

He’s my muse and is in almost every one of my posts. I wrote, KO’d by Karma, after being kicked in the butt for laughing at him, but I learned my lesson, well, not quite yet.

We have a new standing joke after going to an endless mass this summer that included a wedding of some random young couple. The priest said, “Back in the day, many didn’t see their 40th birthday so ‘til death do us part,’ was no big deal. Nowadays, many live to be 100 years old! You could easily be married for 75 years! 75 years! That’s a death sentence for some people.”

While the congregation laughed, Danny looked at me and said, “50 more years!”

Here’s a virtual toast to our Wild Ride!

156 thoughts on “Letting You In On Ten Little Secrets

    • Thanks! That is so true. I thought I would share it with the hopes of a few smiles and to provide enlightenment to anyone just starting out. I remember a few couples that couldn’t agree on whether to have kids. They were doomed from the start.
      Thanks so much! We plan to celebrate for a week! Hahaha!


    • Awwww! Thanks so much JM! You made my day!
      I never want to come off as an expert on anything so I always throw in some humor.. Have a great weekend!


    • Thanks Chris! It is! I can’t believe it has been that long. I can clearly remember being in Telluride and rattling off my list..It is weird how some memories stand out!


    • Well you just never know. My advice is to listen to your heart and never your head. I can talk myself out of anything and have learned not to listen to that logical little monster in my head! At least with matters of the heart…. :) How was that date???/


  1. My list would be similar. I’d add one secret: willingness to let the other be alone. That’s one of the biggies in my marriage and, curiously, is what keeps us more together! :)


    • Definitely! It didn’t even occur to me since the few weeks that Danny retired 12 years ago, drove me nuts. I need to have some alone time!
      Thanks Val!


  2. Reblogged this on Wise Counsel and commented:
    Ten Practical Secrets To A Successful Marriage from one that has lasted twenty-five years!

    Marriage is a beautiful thing when the right man and the right woman find each other.
    I always feel that anybody can love anybody, but not anybody should marry anybody.
    Marriage is an agreement; parteners must be able to get along with each other.
    Working together is not necessatily based on relevance (what you can do for each other), but resonance (respond to each other).
    Do you really connect? Especially mentally.
    Do you really connect, when you communicate?
    Do you feel the vibes in the other person’s flow?
    Are you willing to align?
    Agreement requires a willing submission sometimes.
    Working together or effective collaboration requires some creativity and consistency.
    There are some secrets to these and I think that learning from those that have been into marriage for twenty-five years, is not a bad idea.
    My reblog is from one of such; grab the tips!
    Ten practical secrets to a successful marriage.


  3. I don’t know, I think you’re absolutely right about secret #7.
    I agree it’s the shared sense of humor that is important. My husband and I are nearly identical in that area…both goofy and usually we only get each other’s jokes while everyone else looks at us like we’re nuts.


    • That is so true and a sign of that amazing bond of friendship! I love the inside jokes that are accumulated over the years too! Neither you nor I could get along with someone without a sense of humor that is for sure!
      Thanks Darla!


  4. Aww, how lovely and CONGRATULATIONS on your anniversary and may you have many, many more.

    I’ve been married to Hugo a little bit longer and Danny sounds as if he’s been broken from the same mould. Like you, I mention Hugo in my blog all the time, bless him. It’s my anniversary on 22nd October! Spooky or what?

    I always wanted three kids and Hugo just said ‘Sure’. He asked me to marry him after two weeks and we married six months later.

    ‘Listen to your heart and not your head’ is so true!


    • Your courtship sounds so familiar… October is the best! We are the lucky ones CC.
      Congratulations to you both early!
      Thanks so much!


    • Oh! Thanks so much! It’s funny looking back on how crazy that must have seemed to others after dating for one weekend, but here we are high altitude and all!


  5. Congratulations to you both – what a wonderful, positive post! You both sound like ‘keepers’! I love that you’re doing a week-long celebration; and there is so much wisdom in your Ten Little Secrets. (I wish I’d known about and followed these myself – I’d probably still be married, but not to either of my ‘exes’, lol. Apparently they were also doomed from the start.) Awesome post; I’m so happy for both of you! Love and hugs xoxox


    • Thanks Barbara! You are right! I think so many take everything too seriously and hold grudges..That just won’t work in the long haul. No one is perfect so we shouldn’t expect that of others or ourselves!
      Have a fab weekend!


    • Wow! Thanks so much Angelia! My husband wanted me to add that he gave me a real diamond at the top of the gondola but I assured him that everyone would figure that out! :)


  6. Thanks for sharing the wisdom – love it! Sense of humor is key, especially when you can laugh at yourself too:) We have two sets of grandparents that made it 65 years and both sets of our parents are 40+ years – AMAZING! Happy Friday & Enjoy Your Weekend!


    • Thanks so much and for stopping by Jessica! Sophie is one of the best!
      I find that after 25 years, these are the most important. It’s funny how if we get all of these right, everything else follows!


  7. well, the secret’s out-same as some of those of me and my bride of 47 years! Piece of cake, but it requires communication. Loved the pic at the top. And good luck with the next 50!


  8. What a great post, Susie. I love your tips, and I think you hit the nail on the head with them all. Accepting differences I find to be the most challenging because you start to wonder if it’s a sign of growing apart. Everyone is constantly evolving, and our interests may change over time. So when you stop enjoying the 5-hour fishing trips (yes, I have stopped enjoying them), it’s important to know it’s not a bad sign. We adjust, make peace, and continue to move forward.


    • That is exactly right. We are always evolving. It’s good not to always be together anyway. There are things I am interested in now that I wasn’t before and many that I have no interest in. It’s funny how that changes!
      Most of all, we enjoy each other’s company, so we make time for that!
      Thanks for reading!


  9. Aww, that was very sweet, loved the 10 plastic rings and yes, it’s good to have lots of things in common and appreciating the differences. That’s what makes it all worth it. Congratulations and have a great one!


  10. Awwww! 9 plastic rings? I’ll bet you didn’t see the real one coming did you?

    That is an awesome post! Brought a tear to my eye. I love to hear about couples who have been together for a long time and still love each other. Since I work for a divorce lawyer all I ever see is the opposite end of that spectrum. (sigh) It gets old fast!

    Congratulations you guys! I hope you have 50 more.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt


    • Thanks so much Patricia!
      You know, he got all nervous at the bottom of the gondola, so I got suspicious. I figured that this was it! I remember it as a pretty emotional moment!
      This is polar opposite of your job! Thank the Lord! :)


  11. Wonderful list Susie…one last thing that keeps me going, is each morning when my wife awakens, her eyes and her smile as soon as she awakens tells me how much she loves me… and i fall a lot deeper in love all over again! Thanks for sharing


    • Thanks Barry!
      It has been a wild ride and I just had to share! The funny thing is that I really didn’t have to think to much about this post. It came right off the top of my head! We have a lot of fun and are each others rock when times are tough. It sounds like you have a great handle on this whole marriage thing!
      How’s the new baby????


      • Blessings. Things are well as we are pretty chilled out and thoughtful. Long way ahead ;) The little tiger is doing great thanks. Feeding and sleeping well. Enjoying all the moments, all over again :)


    • Thanks so much for coming by! Here is a virtual toast… **clink!**
      I hope that you have continued to grow strong and healthy since your surgery!



    Funny, you share the same date as our oldest son Keaton and his wife’s wedding day, along with my hubby’s uncle and aunt. What is it about October 10th? Why did we wait until December? LOL!

    Congratulations on 25 years! It goes fast, doesn’t it? And this one is a biggie, so I’m happy that you’ve decided to spend it along the California Coast. Have a wonderful time! :)


  13. Happy Anniversary, Susie! Great post. Wow, your attention span is 3 minutes? I’m impressed. I get distracted after a minute…but I pretend I’m listening, then have to ask hubby to repeat what he said. You’re right, a sense of humor is a must!


  14. Happy Anniversary! xD
    And my husband used to sing “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down!” when I’d enter the room. ;)


  15. Happy anniversary, Susie! I was a late bloomer marrying too — at 46. But it was well worth the wait. Can’t even imagine 25, but I’ve already found your secrets to be so true!


  16. I am so, so late to this party, but I’m glad I made it! You and Danny are awesome. 100% pure awesome covered in chocolate. You have the best tips, ever. Laughing, accepting each other, more laughing, being supportive, et al is spot on.

    Congratulations on your 25th wedding anniversary! You’ll have even more fun for the next 50!


  17. What an amazing super fan! I love that he printed out those posts for you… that’s Love. Much wisdom there – and I see why you put humour as the last point – 75 years?! You’d want to be laughing :)


  18. You and Danny are a wonderful couple who compliment each other extremely well! Love you both! Really impressed he printed your blogs. I’m not sure if Jerry even knows I write one, let alone read them! (He’s cool in many other ways though!) See you soon!! xo, jan


  19. Dude. This is awesome. I love it! Congratulations on the big 25. I wish I could last this long. Thanks so much for the pointers I’m definitely going to need them. I always like to hear pointers from couples living up the years. Woo-hoo! Congrats and hope you’re enjoying California. :)


  20. 28 years now and still best friends and lovers. Your ten are spot on! Trust, support, humour, willing to move to the opposite side of the world, willing to spend 9 months apart to further each others career and education. It was like you were describing our marriage. Willing to back down and admit being wrong, that’s another important one.
    Best regards!


    • Thanks so much! It really doesn’t seem like 25 years.
      You must have heard Neville’s interview, but those two couple’s weren’t Danny and me. He learned to fold the towels after the second year of marriage. Hahaha! Neville read my 10 Little Secrets. I was thrilled to be included in the interview!
      Thanks so much for coming by! I hope you’ll stop again!


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