When the stylist cutting my hair said, “Don’t worry, it’ll grow out by June,” I panicked. It’s February for God’s sake! “It looks great from the front. It was just a little misunderstanding.” Ya think?
I’ll try not to turn my head around for a few months.
Remember the mullet? Business up front, party in the back. Well this haircut is all party in the front, business in the back.
I’m partying now!
All business back here…
Statistically, most people process less than 50% of what was is said. Is that scary or what? Continue reading
So you have been nominated for the Academy Award. Thoughts of your acceptance speech have run through your head a couple thousand times, admit it! Your biggest fear is that you will forget someone. Face the hard truth. You’ll get up there and fail because you refused to write it down, for fear of jinxing yourself. You are a superstitious lot.
Your dream comes true and you win The Oscar:
First you feign shock. You let tears well-up in your eyes while demurring to the others in your category – even though you are secretly so completely stoked to beat out a couple of them. Then you will look out at the adoring faces in the crowd and rattle off the names of your producer, director, actors, etc.
You’ll thank your parents with the overused standby, “Because without them, well, I wouldn’t be here tonight,” -insert tired chuckle from crowd- followed by other significant supporters in your life.
Without boring everyone with a list of the obvious, I thought I would help remind you of the one person you should thank, but so often is overlooked. No, it is not your 2nd grade teacher. Continue reading
While my husband Danny drives us down the highway after our Valentine date, I wax philosophical. Philosophy is not one of Danny’s strong suits.
Me: I wish I could get over the whole, “I want everyone to like me,” thing.
Danny: So do I.
Me: I bet I’m not the only writer who has friends that don’t understand. Like Dave Barry. I bet some people don’t like Dave Barry.
Danny: I don’t know. Dave Barry seems like a pretty likable guy.
Me: Yeah well, What about Erma Bombeck?
Danny: Isn’t she dead?
Me: Or Stephen King. I bet he gets all kinds of crap from some of his friends.
Both of us: Silent for a minute. Continue reading
Happy Valentine’s Day! The party is in the house. The tunes are cranked and the doorbell is ringing. It’s time for another Use Me and Abuse Me Day!
It is time to spread the LOVE! Who knows what tomorrow will bring with super winter storms and asteroid/meteors raining down from the sky. Here’s your chance to mingle and make some new friends! Continue reading
The Ultimate Wild Ride!
There is a 150 foot meteor/asteroid racing towards us at alarming speed, no lie, and it is supposed to come within 17,200 miles of Earth on February 15!
What is alarming about this event is not that it could easily knock out satellites nor that it will be a lot closer to us than the moon nor that it could wreak all kinds of havoc with our electronics nor that it could actually smack our planet. No. What is really alarming, is how our experts can’t decide whether to call it a meteor or an asteroid! Continue reading
Along with bushy eyebrows, Lulu had been burdened with helicopter parents. She never had a moment alone with little Harold. They had dated for two years without a single kiss.
Towering over him had been a turnoff. Sitting down put him at ease.
Harold came a-calling on Valentine’s Day. Electricity shot between them the moment he entered the room. She had to have him.
It will be three years this April since I had heart surgery. I know. I AM a Wild Rider, but I had a problem with PVST’s which cramped my style. After the last one left me reeling for days, I made an appointment with a cardiologist to get the dang thing fixed.
Dr. Oza peeked into my room twice before coming in.
“Are you Susan Lindau?”
“Yep, that’s me.”
“Really! I looked at your birth date and was looking for someone much older-looking.”
What a charming man. An intelligent man. A man whose judgment I could trust.
I told him my “sad story” - everyone has one, right? – about my PVST’s.
He explained that most people have an electric system in their heart like fingers on a hand. A normal pulse starts at the palm and runs out to the fingertips. In my case, one of the pathways was linked. Think of the tip of my thumb and forefinger touching like I am giving you the “okay” sign, only it was not okay. In fact, it really sucked. Every so often the beat would leap into that circular pathway and my rhythmic heart rate would soar. It was like house music on speed with a gigantic woofer. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Continue reading
As writers, we cast our words into the world.
Like the snowflakes in these sculptures, each letter of the alphabet gives our imagination the structure in which to escape, gain new knowledge and connect with the vast universe. Continue reading