Along with bushy eyebrows, Lulu had been burdened with helicopter parents. She never had a moment alone with little Harold. They had dated for two years without a single kiss.
Towering over him had been a turnoff. Sitting down put him at ease.
Harold came a-calling on Valentine’s Day. Electricity shot between them the moment he entered the room. She had to have him.
She had fantasized about Harold since the 4th grade. After decorating her Valentine mailbox, she anticipated the insertion of his declaration of love.
The next day, he popped it in without even making eye contact. She flew through the Valentine messages, but her hopes were dashed. She called her girlfriends to compare notes. He had done them all the same way, without passion.
Years later, Lulu went out to cruise the bars with her peeps and show off her parent’s new sport’s car. It ran out of gas. Harold came to their rescue. After some subtle prodding from her girlfriends, she asked for his number and they were on their way.
A strawberry daiquiri was all Lulu needed. She texted him. “Thanks Harold. I would really like to see more of you! LOL!”
This jump-started their romance, but two years of dating was too long.
He took a flying leap once a day at the Wisconsin Dells for meager pay to provide for her someday. She was way ahead of him.
Sneaking out to pole dance, Lulu had built up a pretty healthy nest egg along with some pretty strong thigh muscles. They had both been hidden for so long. She stashed the savings in a satchel strapped to her garter.
Her parents could hear every word through the paper-thin walls. Tonight, Lulu would flash him the goods.
Relieved and impressed, Harold asked for her hand.
Naughty thoughts turned her ashen cheeks to crimson.
Lulu could hardly wait to show Harold what a modern woman he had married.
She knew it wasn’t nice to point and laugh, but size had never mattered to her.
Their sex tape went viral and paid for their honeymoon. It became a #1 hit at Pleasures!
For the rest of their happy life, Harold took a flying leap into Lulu’s arms at least once a day.
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Do you love or loathe Valentine’s Day?