Leaping for Love, Lust and Lulu on Valentine’s Day

Along with bushy eyebrows, Lulu had been burdened with helicopter parents. She never had a moment alone with little Harold. They had dated for two years without a single kiss.

Towering over him had been a turnoff. Sitting down put him at ease.

Harold came a-calling on Valentine’s Day. Electricity shot between them the moment he entered the room. She had to have him.

the date 1She had fantasized about Harold since the 4th grade. After decorating her Valentine mailbox, she anticipated the insertion of his declaration of love.

??????????????????The next day, he popped it in without even making eye contact. She flew through the Valentine messages, but her hopes were dashed. She called her girlfriends to compare notes. He had done them all the same way, without passion.

Victorian Valentine 1

Years later, Lulu went out to cruise the bars with her peeps and show off her parent’s new sport’s car. It ran out of gas. Harold came to their rescue. After some subtle prodding from her girlfriends, she asked for his number and they were on their way.

A strawberry daiquiri was all Lulu needed. She texted him. “Thanks Harold. I would really like to see more of you! LOL!”

girls gone wild

This jump-started their romance, but two years of dating was too long.

He took a flying leap once a day at the Wisconsin Dells for meager pay to provide for her someday. She was way ahead of him.

the dells stereoscope 001

Sneaking out to pole dance, Lulu had built up a pretty healthy nest egg along with some pretty strong thigh muscles. They had both been hidden for so long. She stashed the savings in a satchel strapped to her garter.

Her parents could hear every word through the paper-thin walls. Tonight, Lulu would flash him the goods.

Relieved and impressed, Harold asked for her hand.

lusty thoughts

Naughty thoughts turned her ashen cheeks to crimson.

Getting ready for the big night

Lulu could hardly wait to show Harold what a modern woman he had married.

The wedding

She knew it wasn’t nice to point and laugh, but size had never mattered to her.

Their sex tape went viral and paid for their honeymoon. It became a #1 hit at Pleasures!

Anniversary come to bed

For the rest of their happy life, Harold took a flying leap into Lulu’s arms at least once a day.

stereoscope

These pictures are from a stereoscope. It was the original 3-D View-Master back in the day.

If you write a Valentine’s Day themed post, add the link to your comment!

Do you love or loathe Valentine’s Day?

Soda Fountain photo from Olde Crow’s Antiques

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70 Comments

Filed under Fiction, Humor, Photography

70 responses to “Leaping for Love, Lust and Lulu on Valentine’s Day

  1. filbio

    Fun post. I just saw someone try to sell a stereoscope on Pawn Stars the other night. We’ve come a long way!

    I kind of loathe V-Day but still go through with it for amusement. I did write a post today about it and here is the link –

    http://blog.theregularguynyc.com/?p=1684

    Thanks!
    Phil

  2. Hi Susie,

    The juxtaposition of those old-time photos and the modern day occurrences (except for the two-year wait) had me re-reading each section to keep my bearings.

    The possible alternate meaning of this sentence had me rolling: “After decorating her Valentine mailbox, she anticipated the insertion of his declaration of love.”

    Cheers to flying leaps and to their happy life!

  3. When we get older, we discover what love really is. what we thought was love, many times turned out to be inflauation.

  4. Pingback: Use Me and Abuse Me Day – Meteor/Asteriod Crashing Valentine’s Day Edition | Susie Lindau's Wild Ride

  5. HAhahahahahilarious. your writing has certainly improved. life from the viewfinders perspective. brilliant. I bet you mute the tv and make your own dialogue up too? hahaha thank you for that one

  6. Well now that is quite the story. Helicopter parents? Not sure what that’s all about, but at least it had a happy ending.

    Thanks for the smile.

    My Valentine’s day post will be up on Valentine’s day.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • At least mine didn’t sit with me during my dates! Those were the days. My mom went through that with her parents and she dated during the 50″s.
      I will look forward to reading it!
      Thanks!

  7. I remember one time I gave out valentines to everyone in my class, but a boy refused to take it. I thought it was because he thought it meant I liked him. But what was actually going on was that he was Jehovah’s Witness and it was against their religion to accept valentines. I thought that was kind of sad.

  8. Wonderful post! I never used to get Valentine’s so all the hearts around the place over this side of the world sent to everyone is cute!

  9. My lord, this was BRILLIANT, Susie!

  10. G.L

    Nice was really funny :)

  11. Love this! I love hearing tales about randy Victorians…

  12. Hmm – I think I saw that video!

  13. Luv your nostalgic Valentines story and so edgy!

  14. Pole dancing Victorians? Who knew?

  15. Very interesting story! I love the word stereopticon (stereoscope) but have never actually looked through one except once at a flea market type thing.
    Viewmasters now…that’s different.
    Scott

  16. I must buy a card and defrost the chicken Susie – thanks for the heads up!

  17. I know that place…, it’s Stand Rock at the Dells, and I think I know that third girl from the end at the soda fountain. She was a devilish little vixen.
    …Great story, Susie. Just an aside, where in Wisconsin were you from?
    Paul

    • It is! I remember when we went on a class trip and took the ducks by the rocks. It was a very cool place, but is really built up now with theme parks…
      I was raised in Madison!
      Thanks so much Paul!

  18. Julie Catherine

    LOL, Susie, this story is just so “you”! Loved it! Hmmm, I haven’t even thought of a Valentine’s Day post this year … my day will be filled with medical appointments, so I think I’ll just experience it through my friends’ blogs. Have an awesome day! :) xox

  19. Very witty and romantic. I love Valentine’s Day because I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve written a view Valentine’s themed post on my blog, so I’ll share one as you requested:
    http://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/witches-wicked-busy-as-mainers-plan-for-valentines-day/

  20. That poked all of my happy buttons, Susan. Old stuff! I LOVE old stuff. Humor? That was hilarious. Romantic… Yep, got that too.

    Thank you for making the day a little brighter.

  21. Clever. A flying leap, eh? I know a few folks who have been told to take such, maybe me!

    • Me too! One of my absolute favorite notes was a hate letter from a boyfriend who broke up with me. He used the word leap along with several other choice words… :)
      Thanks Nelle!

  22. Valentine’s Day? You mean spending grades K through 5 getting the cheap bulk Valentines from the girls while all the popular boys got personalized ones? Me bitter? Nah. The only thing it means to me this year is that my new mattress is getting delivered on Feb 14.

  23. Love the story and especially the pictures. What a hoot. Those way-back pictures to illustrate a current story — pole dancing, texting.

    Brilliant!

    No special Valentine’s Day post on my glob. I’m a bit ambivalent about the brouhaha that surrounds the day. A card that will likely get tossed, chocolates my waistline doesn’t need, an expensive dinner to “show we care”…

    Good gosh! I sound like a Valentine’s Grinchette, don’t I? Is it possible my heart is two sizes too small? ERK!

    Wishing YOU and all those who love the sentiment of the day a GREAT one.

    • Thanks Gloria! I can’t imagine your heart being anything but size of Montana! I can understand how many loathe the day, but for some reason, I have always looked forward to it!

  24. “Sneaking out to pole dance, Lulu had built up a pretty healthy nest egg along with some pretty strong thigh muscles.” So Lulu conquered that upside down maneuver! Excellent! Fun VD story, Susie!

  25. What a fun ride, Susie! That Lulu, she’s my kind of gal. Thanks for the Sunday giggle.

  26. What a delightful romp! We’ve got some old stereoscope pixs from my grandmother – but yours are sooo cool. Great story (pole dancing, knew those long skirts were hiding something!)

  27. I had some sterotypes of a woman in a corset smoking cigarettes.. Sold it to move out west..
    I will be missing my valentine this year:(
    But I wrote about snow today so I wont bore you..:)
    HUGGGGGGGG

    ILOVED THIS

    • What a huge sacrifice you are making, but I am sure that he appreciates your help!
      I would love to see that picture! I have some other funny ones.. Now I would like to collect some more!
      (((Hugs to you!)))

  28. Love this! And my VD post will be up on Tuesday. ;)

  29. Great post Susie! VD is whem wife gets card and kiss and sometimes more. ;-)

  30. Goodness! Those Victorians were a saucy bunch.

  31. being an old married fart– i don’t care too much. (not true) but as I watch the young teenagers and remember those squashed crushes– I loathe it for the reasons that no one should crush my daughters’ hearts. Fear my wrath!

    • It is hard to watch your kids as they go through bitter disappointment. There is always so much pressure involved on the day. I seldom had a great one when I was single. Yet for some crazy reason, I always looked forward to it! I am probably one of the most optimistic people out there!

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