Random Acts of Chat

ACT I

While my husband Danny drives us down the highway after our Valentine date, I wax philosophical. Philosophy is not one of Danny’s strong suits.  

Me: I wish I could get over the whole, “I want everyone to like me,” thing.

Danny: So do I.

Me: I bet I’m not the only writer who has friends that don’t understand. Like Dave Barry. I bet some people don’t like Dave Barry.

Danny: I don’t know. Dave Barry seems like a pretty likable guy.

Me: Yeah well, What about Erma Bombeck?

Danny: Isn’t she dead?

Me: Or Stephen King. I bet he gets all kinds of crap from some of his friends.

Both of us: Silent for a minute.

Me: Ponders other writers that may get hated on from time to time. Not expecting a sound from Danny since I figured he was thinking about one of the other “S’s” – sex or sports. 

Danny: What about Jesus? Some people didn’t like him.

Me: Oh my God! Of course! Jesus! I mean like, he was the son of God and he still had people in his life that hated on him. Why didn’t I think of Jesus? Duh. Of course he wasn’t a writer, but…

Danny: Laughing. Tears stream down his cheeks as he slows in the left lane. He was born with blocked tear ducts and it doesn’t take much to open the floodgates.

Me: Laughing. You’re slowing down.

Danny: Laughs hysterically. Doesn’t respond or speed up.

Me: Laughing: You have to speed up! We are going to get killed.

Danny: Laughing and wiping tears from his eyes and having a hard time catching his breath.  I can’t see.

Me: Laughing. Get it the right lane!

Danny: Still laughing. Frantically wipes tears with sleeve of his leather coat.  I can’t see to turn into the right lane.

Me: Jesus Danny! You are driving 40 miles per hour on the highway! We’re going to die!

Afterthought: We made it home, but are going straight to hell.

Danny laughing

ACT II

It’s Saturday morning and I am pouring my first cup of coffee while Danny reads the newspaper.

Me: I have to go to France to finish my book even if I have to go by myself for a couple of days.

Danny: There’s no way I am letting you go by yourself.

Me: Why?

Danny: Because you will get into trouble and I won’t be there to bail you out.

Me: I won’t get into trouble. Well, yeah, maybe….

Danny: You’re like a little kid. You would be like, “Oh wow! I think these people dressed in strange clothing look like fun. I think I will follow them down this dark alley.” You would find yourself in the deepest darkest place in France.

Me: Laughing. Like a little kid? Okay, maybe I am like that.

Afterthought: You better save your money Danny.

my new friends

Was Danny remembering this night in Downtown Los Angeles?

Can you remember your funny conversations?

86 thoughts on “Random Acts of Chat

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  1. “Random Acts of chat” – ha ha! Great name for this phenomenon.

    Did I ever mention that “I Am The Secret Love Child of Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck?” And that I have the post to prove it? http://pegoleg.com/2012/01/25/i-am-the-secret-love-child-of-erma-bombeck-and-dave-barry/ And that Dave Barry, his actual self, sent me an email after I sent him a copy of that post? I may have mentioned this once or twice or a bazillion times. So…Yeah.

    NObody better be not liking dear old dad around me.

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    1. I think that I did read that! Good on you girl!
      He must have great dinner parties. Can you imagine? Everyone would want to sit next to him. I wish he would take over Andy Rooney’s job at 60 minutes. It would be hilarious!

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      1. That WOULD be a great gig for him.

        p.s. I was tempted to laugh at your description of your hubby’s laughing/crying thing, but would that be mean since it’s a physical malady(?)

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  2. Ha! This was a great conversation. I like the fact that he was laughing so hard that he cried and he actually had to pull over. I’ve had a couple of conversations where I laughed so hard I cried, but it wasn’t while I was driving. But I did stumble and fall. 🙂

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    1. Hahaha! Okay, that made me laugh! I love those outright belly-crunching, cheek-pinching, eye-squeezing laughs. They don’t happen often enough, but when they do they are the best!
      Thanks Guat!

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    1. Thanks Darla you are so sweet! I am a high energy girl! I remember driving my roommates nuts in college since I could burn the candle at both ends. I was waaaay too cheerful in the morning. Hahaha! Oh well…
      Danny hasn’t laughed that hard for a while. We both couldn’t breath! That is the best…

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  3. You’re funny. And I love road trips– I’d rather drive than fly any day. There’s something about the vibration of the steering wheel in his hands that loosens his mouth a little, isn’t there?

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  4. That is so funny. I remember once I was driving with my sister and my mother on the highway, and we saw this woman/thing in another car who honestly looked like a ghoul. We couldn’t get away from her/it. Everytime we sped up, so did she/it. We changed lanes, so did she/whatever. We started screaming in the car and talking about dying on the highway because we were paying more attention to her/it/whatever than actual driving.

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    1. I wonder what that was all about??? What if it was a ghoul in a car following you….. Hahaha! I can see where that would freak you out. Too bad it happened before cell phone photos… Glad you survived without an having an accident!

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  5. It’s interesting how we give more weight to the negative comment, no matter how many positives are on the other side. Good luck with the book, Susie. And after it’s published and you’re reading those reviews on Amazon, remember that there will always be some anonymous critic whose only goal is to tear down someone else’s work.

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    1. Oh I think that’s what all of this is about. It’s to build up my Teflon coating!
      And you’re right about focusing on the negative comments or slights. I did talk to my daughter who took a business psych class last semester. She said that being accepted a natural part of being human and it’s in our DNA. Long ago it meant the difference between sitting near a warm fire and being eaten by a dinosaur!

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  6. You and Danny have a lot of fun together. I like that! Susie, you do need to go to France. I hope you saw on my blog that the tour I was doing has been cancelled but then the good news is that an even better women’s travel group is picking it up. I’ll keep you posted. Have you and Danny ever considered home exchange? We do them all the time and they have all been excellent experiences. In fact, we are spending a month in Nice this September and it’s an exchange. E-mail me if you want more info. It sure cuts down on the expense and is a fab way to feel like a local.

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