In Response to Esquire – New Expressions for 2014

Tired of the same old slang? Does the word awesome sound far from awesome? Stacey Woods wrote a piece for Esquire.com called 27 Things to Leave Behind in 2013. She listed the expressions she never wants to hear again. Apparently, she is done with, “namaste, stoked, and hater,” to name a few. It left me wondering about replacements for the outdated words.

I came with some new ways to express yourself in 2014.

Replace, “She’s a strong amazing woman,” with, “She’s taking it downtown.” This is a unisex phrase that can work for men too. “Look at you. You’re taking it downtown!”

Replace, “Namaste,” with “Be pos.”

Replace, “Stoked” (which is really an 80’s throwback. I know. I lived through it.) with “Jazzed.”  “I am so jazzed about finding an agent.” I am being pos in 2014.

Replace, “Much,” with “Enough.” Much is used at the end of a sentence followed by a question mark as in, “Angry much?” It is the Canadian equivalent of “eh?” or the French “non?” It’s been around since the 70’s. How about, “Angry enough?”

Replace, “Shout out,” with “Blast.” “Thanks for the blast!”

Replace, “I know! Right?” with “Believe it?” “Susie, you had one Wild year.” My response: “Believe it?”

Replace, “Chillax,” with “De-tense.” “Stop worrying about your kids, money, or who will marry the The Bachelor. De-tense.”

Replace, “Hater,” with “Virus.” “They are such viruses,” or “There will always be viruses in the world.”

One that wasn’t on her list was “Spacey or spaced.” Replace it with “Glazed.”  “I’m so glazed today,” or “I glazed it.”

Or “Sorry. I was in my parallel universe.”

“My bad” has been out of style for a while. My daughter uses, “Mistakes were made.”

I’ve been trying to replace “Awesome” with “Hideous.” Some use “Sick,” but it has been around for a while too.  I certainly get some looks when I say, “Love your new haircut. It’s hideous!” But maybe commentators could pick up this new trendy word and use it at the Winter Olympics. “That is hideous air! Shaun White was hideous today!”

You heard them here first!

I hope 2014 brings you many be pos, jazzed, hideous, and taking it downtown  moments, free from viruses and being glazed, but full of de-tensing. You’ll look back and say, Believe it?

Thanks for the blast in advance!

Which expressions will you use in 2014?

Related article: 27 Things to Leave Behind in 2014 – Stacey Woods – Esquire.com