Finding time for everything in daily life can be a challenge. The holidays add an extra burden to the growing list of things to do. This year marks the shortest amount of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Think you can do it all? You can’t. There’s no time to dink around people! You’re basically screwed unless you follow my tips:
No time to buy a host or hostess gift?
Recycle! Fill all those holiday mugs you’ve received over the years with your leftover Halloween candy. Everyone loves Snickers bars.
Don’t judge me. The candy canes are from last year. I ate all the Snickers bars.
No time to write for your blog?
Post office party photos. Make up funny captions like, “Bob always peeks into the secret Santa gifts and slips his name on the best one.” Then cross-post it on Facebook. Watch your Klout score soar! Don’t forget to tag your boss, Bob. Continue reading
Filed under Humor, satire
I was taught that the Pilgrims were the first American colonists who arrived at Plymouth Rock in 1620. Pfft! The first colonists arrived in America waaaay before that. Be prepared. This is not the warm and fuzzy story we learned in school.
In 1587, John White set sail to Roanoke Island, North Carolina and became the governor of the first colony. After struggling for several months, he left his wife, daughter and infant granddaughter and sailed back to England for supplies. A major war broke out between Spain and England and he couldn’t wrangle a ship. He waited three long years. When he returned to his family and the 112 other colonists, they had disappeared without a trace. His crew could not find any sign that they had ever existed. They did find a wooden post carved with the name “Croatoan.” Continue reading
It’s hunting season. Not just hunting for great deals before Christmas, hunting big game, ducks, and turkeys among other critters. This funny commercial got my attention. It’s part of the “Hug a Hunter” campaign in Colorado. It got me thinking that it may not be a very good idea. It could even prove dangerous.
The ultimate in crowd surfing
Last week, I attended a book signing, a mind-blowing rock concert, checked in with my radiologist, and then went to a writer’s conference where I learned a ton and pitched my book. And those are just a few of my wild highlights. I have so much to tell you and quite a few blog posts to write, but enough about me. This is all about you.
Another Use Me and Abuse Me Day is coming up this Thursday, September 26th. This is your chance to come and mingle with my followers. Who knows? You may pick up a few subscribers. It’s a virtual party where the buffet is always fresh, the barista is ready to create any kind of coffee drink and the bar is open. Continue reading
My boobs are fully bionic. This was the last surgery in the double mastectomy and reconstructive process. The swap was made by reopening my scars, deflating the expanders, rolling them up like cigars and slipping them out.
The deflated expander’s front and back, showing the blue magnetic area where saline is filled with a needle.
The bait and switch. This is the example, but the actual implant is round.
Replaced with soft silicone, my halogen high beams became hamburger buns. I could see why my doctor wanted me to do the fat transfer. It looks as though they are in a push up bra while defying gravity.
Bra size in buns. My boobs resemble the B cup, I mean bun. Continue reading
After arriving in Barcelona, Spain it sprinkled, creating a wonderful photo opportunity.
My husband Danny and I took the subway to our daughter Courtney’s dorm in the Gracia District. Continue reading
Do you tense before being pricked by a hypodermic needle? You know it’s going to hurt, so you brace yourself. When I participated in the Polar Plunge on New Year’s Day, I stood in line tense and shivering. I had imagined it would hurt to hit the icy water, but I knew I could do it.
Having been through a double mastectomy, I know what it’s like to take the needle and wake up in icy water. Wednesday, my reconstructive surgeon will remove the hard expanders, open up the interior pockets inside my chest wall and sew them closer together. Then the soft silicone implants will be stitched into place. Yes. I’ve been tense all week.
After I splashed out of the frigid water, I dressed and ran for the car. My husband Danny blasted the heat. I took a long hot shower when I got home, but it took hours before I stopped shivering. Continue reading
Rockin’ out Parisian Style!
It’s time once again to Use Me and Abuse Me, so lets get this party started! Yeah baby! The idea is to come and mingle with the guests, introduce yourself and pick up some new followers.
The trick with building a community is finding the people behind the gravatars. They’re there. I know. I’ve met several in person! When building any relationship, communication is key to success. In blogging, we communicate through our posts and comments. I have made a lot of real friendships here on the Wild Ride and so can you!
So come by with ONE link to a blog post and paste it in the comment section. Two will put you in my spam filter and I hate when I have to stop dancing to fish guests out of my filter. It’s so embarrassing… Continue reading
I made it through the double mastectomy in May knowing I would soon be surrounded by beauty in some of my favorite places while eating delicious food.
My husband Danny and I flew to Barcelona and met our daughter who studied abroad. It had been over five weeks since the surgery and I still had some lifting restrictions. Being without cancer for the first time in years, my energy level soared! We hit the ground running and didn’t stop until the cows came home at O’ dark thirty.
Oh, glorious food! I tried to watch my portions since everything was prepared with simple ingredients and lots of butter. Chocolate croissants melted in my mouth, every morning. Restaurants used seasonal fruits and vegetables. I entered food nirvana.
After driving through France, we took the train to England. What a trip.
The timing rocked. The European adventure took my mind off my health and upcoming breast reconstruction surgery on Wednesday, August 28th. Yep. I have one more step in the breast cancer journey. I am lucky. As the poster child for early detection, I don’t have to go through chemo or radiation. My treatment consists of taking a Tamoxifen pill every morning. How hard is that?
Back to reality. When I arrived home, I weighed myself, but wasn’t too surprised. I didn’t gain any weight. We had walked for hours every day while on vacation and burned off the calories from the rich food.
Two days later, I had an appointment with my reconstructive surgeon. We discussed the swapping of the hard expanders behind my pectoral muscles to the silicone implants. This is not the silicone of the 1990’s. It is the same material used in hip and knee replacements.
I was looking forward to this routine procedure, so I can sleep on my side again without pain. It seems nothing in my life is routine.
He examined my breasts and scowled.
NOTE TO SELF: It is never good when a surgeon scowls while examining your body. Continue reading