While watching Good Morning America, I learned Super Bowl commercials are being leaked. One in particular has upset some people. I watched the commercial promoting Carl’s Jr.’s latest all-natural beef campaign and wondered what all the fuss was about.
A woman strolls through a farmer’s market while men stare. She has bare shoulders and walks by strategically placed vegetables like an Austin Powers’ spoof. While passing by a table full of ice, she appears naked. When the camera pans around the table we see she is strutting through the crowd wearing a bikini top and shorts.
My first reaction? “Ha! She looks all-natural to me, alright.” As a woman with bionic or totally fake boobs after a double boobectomy, I appreciated boobs. I can’t understand why some people find this ad so offensive. They would like to see it pulled. Continue reading →
My daughter, Courtney, noticed a few ignorant people on social media replaced New Year’s Resolutions with New Year’s Revolutions. It made me think. (Keep in mind, I’m still on Oxycodone after my surgery last Monday.) Revolutions might be a better word!
First of all, the Earth “revolves” around the Sun in one year’s time. The start of the New Year begins after a complete revolution.
We all want to make changes or reach goals in our lives. You don’t? Wow. Lucky you. I think the promises we make on New Year’s Eve are closer to revolutions than resolutions since they require a huge change in our lives. Oh sure. If your only goal in 2015 is to take more vacations, I wouldn’t call that a revolution. But if you want to make a lifestyle change, that my friend, will take a revolution. Continue reading →
The last day of 2014 was WILD. I blogged a post complaining about my year-end stats. They were identical to 2013’s. By 8:00 AM, I had 200 views. I thought the title, “I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015,” reeled them in. Nope. Someone shared an old post on Reddit and it went viral!
I scrolled down to referrers and Reddit was at the top of the list. Reddit? I’ve never gotten a view from Reddit. When I refreshed my blog, I had over 1000 views! I freaked out and updated the post inviting new readers to my “Home” page.
From there it went to 5000 views an hour for about seven hours and then it tapered off.
You probably can’t see the computer screen with all your eye rolling. “Good for you Susie. Who freakin’ cares.”
Every year, I try to beat my numbers from the last. I thought 2014 blew past 2013 and I’d say, “So long sucker!” while smirking at it in the rear view mirror. More followers + more blog posts = more views. That’s logical, right? Pshh!
Here’s what WordPress sent me this year.
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 49,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 18 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
I checked out my 2013 report and guess what? My blog was visited 49,000 times that year too! That’s the exact same stinkin’ performance at the Sydney Opera House two years running. I came up short. GAH!
What do I have to do to hit 50,000?
WordPress figured I would be bummed. Those crazy monkeys suggested I write new posts about the topics which scored huge views.
I scrambled through my stats. What was most popular in 2014? Boobs! Of course! NOTE TO SELF: Write more posts about boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Continue reading →
The holidays are never perfect. It’s a hectic time of year and somehow they always take over my life.
Although I dream of a wonderful holiday where everything has been carefully planned and executed. Stockings hang near a roaring fire. Wrapped presents are piled high around a decorated tree. Family and friends gather round the piano and sing while the heavenly aroma of a gourmet dinner cooks in the oven. That never happens.
I’ve compiled a list of warning signs for you!
You know the holidays are taking over your life when:
A few days ago, I mentioned a few of my Christmas traditions, but excluded my favorite. There were many guesses. Some readers were right. BAKING. We used to watch my daughter, Courtney, dance in the Nutcracker. I had an idea. I could combine the two!
I saw an adaptation of the traditional gingerbread man on The Rachael Ray Show and had an BRILLIANT idea. I had to bake them and make a movie. It seemed like the logical thing to do after creating 80+ handmade Christmas cards, right?
With a little bit of help from my daughter, Courtney, the “show” was a success! It’s been years since she performed in a ballet. *chuckle*
Tune in to see what I’m talking about. It’s a totally sweet production! You can hear me cracking up while making the video.Continue reading →
I’ve sent out all of my greeting cards, so it’s time to unveil my project. I’m so nervous. I hope you like it.
Every year an idea comes to mind which becomes a sketch and then transforms into some kind of 3-D popup creation. I know what you’re thinking. Most people don’t even take the time to buy and send ready-made greeting cards. I keep telling myself, “This year I will simplify.” HA! I don’t know the meaning of the word, “simplify.” Two things about me never change: I was born sunny-side up and I love challenges. “Bring it on” should be my middle name, but it’s not. It’s Mary which is pretty dull in comparison. Don’t tell mom. Her first name is Mary.
The front is very similar to last year’s. Take your complaints to Yelp.