Offended by the Carl’s Jr. Super Bowl Ad?

While watching Good Morning America, I learned Super Bowl commercials are being leaked. One in particular has upset some people. I watched the commercial promoting Carl’s Jr.’s latest all-natural beef campaign and wondered what all the fuss was about. carl's jr

A woman strolls through a farmer’s market while men stare. She has bare shoulders and walks by strategically placed vegetables like an Austin Powers’ spoof. While passing by a table full of ice, she appears naked. When the camera pans around the table we see she is strutting through the crowd wearing a bikini top and shorts.

My first reaction? “Ha! She looks all-natural to me, alright.” As a woman with bionic or totally fake boobs after a double boobectomy, I appreciated boobs. I can’t understand why some people find this ad so offensive. They would like to see it pulled. Continue reading

Be Your Own Badass Hero

Being stuck in bed recuperating can be depressing for any Wild Rider. Foggy-headed and cooped up for days after my partial knee replacement gave me too much time to think and by that I mean feel sorry for myself. Multiply that with weaning off the Oxycodone and I had a pretty big crash.

I regretted the timing of my surgery even though the x-ray showed I walked on borrowed time. The desire to get it over with and impulsivity was a perfect combo for, “I’ll take your next available appointment!” Two weeks wasn’t long enough to prepare myself mentally. I was also dealing with the guilt of sleeping so much and not writing.

Being in great shape, I expected to exceed my doctor’s and home care physical therapist’s expectations. I’m competitive and goal-oriented. Instead, a week after surgery, I suffered a setback. My leg ballooned up with blood. I had to reduce the swelling before I could make any real improvements with mobility. (You should see my bruise. It’s amazing. It runs from my hip to the bottom of my calf. Yes. I took pictures.)

When my PT stopped by that Wednesday and told me I wouldn’t be off the walker by Friday since I seemed unstable and added I wasn’t ready to use the exercise bike, it broke me. The funk sunk in and continued to make itself comfortable the next morning.

At 10:00 AM I needed something to eat with the Ibuprofen. I pushed my walker to the top of the stairs and then gingerly lowered my foot one step at a time. I shuffled behind my other walker to the kitchen and turned on the TV. I became transfixed by an advertisement for The Hunger Games even though I’ve seen the movie and read the book. I thought, Katniss Everdeen was the ultimate badass.

Katniss_Everdeen

AND THEN IT HIT ME WITH A JOLT. “I don’t need a hero,” I said out loud, “I am my own hero. I need to fight for myself!”

Filled with hope, the corners of my mouth formed a smile. The funk lifted. Hope forced funk out of my gloomy recesses and obliterated it.

I ate my toast, took my pills, exercised at the counter, and then pushed my walker to the stairs. This time, instead of starting with my good leg and pulling my bad one up to the same step, I lifted my bad knee and walked up those freakin’ stairs like a normal person. Well, a normal person who grunts while grasping the banister.

When the PT came a few hours later, she saw a huge improvement. I graduated from the walker to a cane. YES! Then she instructed me on how to use my exercise bike.

Now all I need is a top hat.

GAME ON!

Can you pull yourself out of a funk?

How To Go Viral On Reddit or The Ironic Complaint

The last day of 2014 was WILD. I blogged a post complaining about my year-end stats. They were identical to 2013’s. By 8:00 AM, I had 200 views. I thought the title, “I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015,” reeled them in. Nope. Someone shared an old post on Reddit and it went viral!

went viral on Reddit

Singing Happy Birthday Could Be Risky Business – $10,000 Worth, blew up. Why? That post is two years old.

I scrolled down to referrers and Reddit was at the top of the list. Reddit? I’ve never gotten a view from Reddit. When I refreshed my blog, I had over 1000 views! I freaked out and updated the post inviting new readers to my “Home” page.

From there it went to 5000 views an hour for about seven hours and then it tapered off.

You probably can’t see the computer screen with all your eye rolling. “Good for you Susie. Who freakin’ cares.”

Before you click away, read on… You want to go viral, right? Continue reading

I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015

Every year, I try to beat my numbers from the last. I thought 2014 blew past 2013 and I’d say, “So long sucker!” while smirking at it in the rear view mirror. More followers + more blog posts = more views. That’s logical, right? Pshh!

Here’s what WordPress sent me this year.

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 49,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 18 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

I checked out my 2013 report and guess what? My blog was visited 49,000 times that year too! That’s the exact same stinkin’ performance at the Sydney Opera House two years running. I came up short. GAH!

What do I have to do to hit 50,000?

WordPress figured I would be bummed. Those crazy monkeys suggested I write new posts about the topics which scored huge views.

I scrambled through my stats. What was most popular in 2014? Boobs! Of course! NOTE TO SELF: Write more posts about boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Continue reading

Twelve Warning Signs The Holidays Have Taken Over

The holidays are never perfect. It’s a hectic time of year and somehow they always take over my life.

Although I dream of a wonderful holiday where everything has been carefully planned and executed. Stockings hang near a roaring fire. Wrapped presents are piled high around a decorated tree. Family and friends gather round the piano and sing while the heavenly aroma of a gourmet dinner cooks in the oven. That never happens.

I’ve compiled a list of warning signs for you!

You know the holidays are taking over your life when:

Every surface in your house is sticky.

It would be easier to move than to clean.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/85813c670a426d8a9a4dc2de4f5a839d/tumblr_inline_n307q0h9o31rt6qr4.gif Continue reading

Leave a Comment and Win!

constructing Christmas

I’ve been busy drawing, cutting, pasting and folding this year’s Christmas card. I think I’ve listened to almost every corny holiday movie between the Lifetime and Hallmark channel.

Every year has its challenges. In the past, I sent out my cards after more than sixty hours of work and they boomeranged back for more postage! Last year I had to add extra postage for weight. This year I thought I had it handled, but the post office was closed, so I couldn’t check the weight. I was about to throw them in the mailbox, then I decided to take them home just in case.

homemade Christmas cards

Some of my older cards. The newer ones are popups. Continue reading

Boulder Twinkle – A Photo Essay

City lights 2

Just add snow!

Pearl street mall

Continue reading