Tag Archives: comedy

An Open Letter to Prince Harry

Dear Prince Harry,

It has come to my attention that you will be visiting our fair state this weekend. As your motorcade drives to Colorado Springs from DIA, I am sure you will be struck by the impressive beauty of the Front Range and the Rocky Mountains.

sunset

You will be attending the 2013 Warrior Games. According to the Colorado Springs Gazette, “The teams compete in seven sports – archery, cycling, shooting, sitting volleyball, swimming, track and field, and wheelchair basketball. The event is designed to help the recovery of the 260 wounded, ill, and injured servicemen and women participating.” You will be a spectator at the Olympic Training Center for a volleyball exhibition on Saturday and a cycling competition at Falcon Stadium on Sunday.

These are all well worth your time and yet a thought occurred to me. After traveling thousands of miles across the world for these wonderful events, why not sneak out of the Springs on Saturday night to stop by one of the jewels of Colorado?

The Boulder Flatirons

Boulder is by far one of the must-see attractions of our state. It boasts the University of Colorado’s red-tiled roofed campus complete with the Flatirons rock formation in the backdrop. Our college co-eds are the most attractive in the country. No, I am not biased because my daughter attends the University.

Chautauqua

It is within walking distance of many hiking trails. I am sure after being cramped on an airplane for so many hours your secret service would appreciate stretching their legs while taking in the fresh mountain air and views of the Boulder Valley.

It is home to Pearl Street, an outdoor mall filled with eclectic people, shops, buskers and musicians.  After your hike and shopping you could relax in one of Boulder’s popular micro-breweries.  I think they may give England a run for their money, but hey, you can prove me wrong.

Pearl Street Mall

You have probably heard that marijuana use has recently been decriminalized. Although lawmakers are still working out the details, you won’t get arrested for inhaling while you are visiting.

Boulder is considered a foodie town which means it is home to many amazing restaurants, some of which are the finest in the country.

There is a wide range of choices for nightlife including DJ’d nightclubs, roof top bars and places to enjoy local bands.

dj ksmash

Before returning to Colorado Springs, I would recommend stopping by one of our specialty cupcake bakeries open late in case you get the munchies.

Prince_Harry

You will be glad you came to Boulder. If you get into any trouble for upsetting the royal itinerary, I would be happy to take full responsibility.

Unfortunately, my unmarried daughter is out of town this weekend. I don’t suppose you would consider extending your stay through Monday.

Sincerely yours,

Susie Lindau

Prince Harry’s photo from Wikimedia commons

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Leaping for Love, Lust and Lulu on Valentine’s Day

Along with bushy eyebrows, Lulu had been burdened with helicopter parents. She never had a moment alone with little Harold. They had dated for two years without a single kiss.

Towering over him had been a turnoff. Sitting down put him at ease.

Harold came a-calling on Valentine’s Day. Electricity shot between them the moment he entered the room. She had to have him.

the date 1 Continue reading

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The Visit – A Photo Essay

California girls

Hanging out with the California girls – Debra Kristi, Debra Eve, Lynn Kelley, August McLaughlin and me. We can’t keep our hands off Thor.

I found Debra Kristi’s blog through her Immortal Mondays where she covers many different types of legends, myths and folklore. I met Debra in person while visiting California. She introduced me to Thor. He has been on a world tour ever since.  When she asked if I would like to host her little friend, of course I jumped at the chance. I planned to show the God of Thunder a great time in Colorado!

After Thor arrived, my daughter Courtney introduced him to the village. He didn’t waste any time.

Courtney and Thor1

Continue reading

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Rocky Mountain High

Along with the re-election of our President, Coloradans legalized marijuana. What does that mean? It is now legal to grow six plants in homes across the state. Adults over the age of 21 will be able to purchase an ounce from regulated retail stores, but publicly rolling a joint won’t be tolerated inside or outside.

I am sure that early revelers will be out and about smoking a bowl in celebration, but the amendment won’t be certified for up to two months according to the Boulder Daily Camera.

Personally, my lungs can’t handle cigarette smoke and I detest the stinky smell of weed, so I won’t be partying down.

Remember the characters Cheech and Chong? They were popular when I was in college. I can just imagine a conversation between the two of them. Continue reading

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Don’t Touch Your Clocks…Yet!


It is Daylight Saving Time when we are told to set our clocks back one hour, but I am begging you, DON’T DO IT! Think about it for a minute. How important is time? There must be a moment every day when you wish you had a few extra minutes, let alone a whole extra hour, right? So why not save it! Yes! Save the hour and use it when you really need it! It is Daylight Saving Time after all. Continue reading

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Gasp!

Did I scare you Danny?

I learned about The Wilhelm Scream through Lame Adventures blog. Apparently a dude named Wilhelm screamed in a film back in the day and it became pretty darn famous. It has been reused in many other movies by foleys who drop in the sound effects.

I wondered if there was a famous gasp. The Lame Adventurer said she wasn’t familiar with the gasp.

“Gasp!” How could she not be familiar with the gasp! I don’t think I have gone through a day without gasping.

Gasp: a sudden intake of air expressing fright and freaking out everyone else around the aforementioned gasper. Often the gasp is followed by the clutching of one’s chest since a heart attack feels imminent. Continue reading

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Oh No! It Happened Overnight

As I sat on the examining table with a tennis injury to my left hamstring, the nurse practitioner diagnosed a list of other problems with my body. And then it hit me right between my headlights. After gaining a bit of mileage, I have become a high maintenance vehicle.

It was as if I had been transported to an auto repair shop for an oil change and was informed that I needed major overhaul!

Reason for service:

Blown tire – torn hamstring.

Recommended service – 4 weeks of physical therapy.

5 point inspection at physical therapy: Continue reading

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How I Became a Mass Murderer

When I was a little girl, ants mesmerized me. While outside in the hot summer sun, I watched as they carried crumbs, leaves, and small twigs back to their coffee ground-like hills. I imagined the tunnels underneath like catacombs spread out under the crack in the sidewalk. Okay. We didn’t have cable.

Flash forward about a hundred years. A colony of large aggressive red ants moved into our back patio just after we installed an arbor. I had always loved these interesting little creatures while admiring their determination and strength. The movie Antz became one of my favorites when my kids were little. All it took was one nasty bite and the lovefest was over. Continue reading

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What the? 150 Word Flash Fiction

Chapter 1  - High Hopes

“Now, let me see. Wash the windows.” Minnie’s list-making was interrupted by a low rumble. “Is it the end of days? On April 20th?” She shuffled over to the window in her pink fluffy slippers and peered out at the dust storm rising up over the hill.

“Oh my, oh my!” With her hair in curlers and still dressed in a housecoat, she grabbed her shotgun. Continue reading

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KO’d by Karma

As most people know, karma can be a rude evil witch that blindsides us when we least expect it. To me, karma is the reaction to our actions in the universe. Sometimes it is negative and causes the boomerang to hit us in the face. Recently, I found this to be a fact.

I talked my husband Danny into having some freckles, (skin damage) burned off his face. The dermatologist seemed a little over-zealous and he came home with several dime-sized brown spots where the doctor had frozen them with liquid nitrogen.

“Look at what you did to me!” he said half-joking. Continue reading

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