What To Do When You Piss Off A Body Part

photo (1)I’m going on seven weeks since my partial knee replacement. I’m still laying in bed taking it easy and elevating while icing. I hate ice. Why can’t heat reduce swelling?

I went to my six week checkup on Monday not knowing what to expect. It’s never good when your doctor starts out by saying, “I expected you to be so much farther along. You’re at least two weeks behind.” He thought I’d be healed up and ready to ski and play tennis.

GAH! What the hell happened?

“Your knee is really angry. You need to calm it down.”

I looked at my pissed off knee and thought, What did I ever do to you? I’ve always loved my knobby knees. Oh yeah. I guess amputating bone and messed up cartilage then replacing it with a metal plate and plastic could put me on your shit list. Sorry! Continue reading

Meet the Voice of Siri! An Interview with Susan Bennett.

When followed by the “Voice of Siri,” Susan Bennett, on Twitter, I freaked out. She’s REAL! I contacted her for an interview, crossed my fingers, and began my research. Along with her website, I found several videos and a podcast. I discovered she is also the voice of ATMs, GPS, Delta Airlines, Ford, Coca-Cola, Macy’s, McDonald’s, The Home Depot, Fisher-Price, Goodyear, VISA, Hot Pockets, Club Med, and Cartoon Network. Wow! She’s been busy.

Siri is an Apple IOS application which serves as a web navigator and all-round personal assistant. We all know Siri’s voice from Apple commercials. If you own an iPhone, you can press a button to ask Siri any question.

Siri and Susan Bennett

“Hey Siri. What’s the weather like outside?” She answers and includes a five day forecast. I thanked her this morning and she responded, “I live to serve.” Ha!

When Susan agreed to be interviewed, I just about fell off my chair! How cool is she? By the way, I love her name.

Photo courtesy of 10K Hours. Thanks guys!

Hey Susan! Thank you so much for agreeing to do the interview. I was super stoked when you followed me on Twitter. Social media has become ALL six of the degrees of separation between people. It has made the world much smaller.

Me – Could you explain the process of how you became the voice of Siri? Continue reading

How To Go Viral On Reddit or The Ironic Complaint

The last day of 2014 was WILD. I blogged a post complaining about my year-end stats. They were identical to 2013’s. By 8:00 AM, I had 200 views. I thought the title, “I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015,” reeled them in. Nope. Someone shared an old post on Reddit and it went viral!

went viral on Reddit

Singing Happy Birthday Could Be Risky Business – $10,000 Worth, blew up. Why? That post is two years old.

I scrolled down to referrers and Reddit was at the top of the list. Reddit? I’ve never gotten a view from Reddit. When I refreshed my blog, I had over 1000 views! I freaked out and updated the post inviting new readers to my “Home” page.

From there it went to 5000 views an hour for about seven hours and then it tapered off.

You probably can’t see the computer screen with all your eye rolling. “Good for you Susie. Who freakin’ cares.”

Before you click away, read on… You want to go viral, right? Continue reading

Unplug 4 Hours – It works!

SocialMediaIconcollage

I bet you’re addicted. Come on. Admit it. How many times an hour do you check stats, emails, social media or text messages? Is it hard to unplug? How long do you procrastinate before settling down to do real work?

Although I have found my passion in writing and always meet deadlines, I recognized my addiction to the endorphin rush of the internet. Reading blog posts, watching views roll in (or sputter) after blogging or checking comments on my latest Facebook photo had sucked me into the spinning vortex. Even though I start writing around 9:00 AM each day, I felt as if a party was going on and I was missing out. I had become a victim of FOMO.  Sometimes, I would stand and stretch at the end of the day, wondering where the time went. Continue reading

How to Get The Little Blue Check

Okay. So it’s technically a white check in a blue badge. I’m going along with the majority and will call it The Little Blue Check.

verifiedtwitter

Have you ever wondered why some people with Twitter accounts have a little blue check next to their name while others are slighted? This icon is symbolic of becoming an up-and-comer or famous and can be awarded to those who have so many fans, fake accounts abound. Continue reading

How My PC Almost Killed Me

It started out like any other ordinary day. I sipped coffee while checking email and social media.

I had no idea what was coming

9:00 AM - I opened Microsoft Word to get some real work accomplished. It surprised me that I’d left three documents open from the day before. A draft of my Boob Report and a travel post listed as Document 2 and 3 hadn’t been named. The third was my book. I rewrote 202 pages during the last week and had been hitting Control, Save without changing the file name. I checked my saved files. Whoa! The last time my computer saved my book was on 8-8 and it was 8-15. My computer had been acting glitchy after downloading 5000 photos from my vacation. I had purchased an external hard drive and had freed up another 5 GBs.

Not too worried, I pressed, “Save as” expecting the file name option to come up, when my computer froze. I got an error message, “The Dialog box is open.” What the heck is an Open Dialog Box?

9:21 - I tried everything and then called my husband Danny. He gave me the name of his IT guy, Matt.

10:57 - Matt called me back and began working on the computer via internet.

11:40 - He called to give me the bad news. “I can’t find those files anywhere. I think you’re screwed. Just Control, Alt, Delete and reboot, but you won’t be able to save your files.

11:57 - I freaked out! I called Danny in tears. “I worked all week on those stories and my rewrite. What should I do?”

“You’ll probably have to Control, Alt, Delete.”

“I’m not giving up.” Continue reading

In Defense of Emoticons, Asterisks, and Exclamation Points!!!

Have you ever been in a conversation and found yourself blurting out what you think is a funny joke only to be met with a blank expression?

Imagine writing a comment using sardonic wit. The writer of the post can be left wondering what the hell you meant by that and may slap their laptop shut, storm out of their study, then sit back down and Unfollow you!

Insert smiley face :) and voila! Sarcasm bursts through the words and the writer giggles along with the commenter.

When I first started blogging around two years ago, it took me a while to get the hang of commenting. At first, I went into hyperdrive and left lame, “Great post!” comments everywhere.

Then I slowed down and read other reader’s comments. Some chose eloquent words. Others related to the content of the post and either responded emotionally or revealed something about themselves.  A few were hysterically funny. Most used different ways to express their emotion.

I look forward to reading what you think of my words. Sometimes comments make me laugh. Others are so sweet, they are like precious gifts, so I copy them to a saved file. Once in a while, I scratch my head and wonder.

To help you through the emotional minefield of commenting, I came up with:

Susie’s Surefire Glossary to Conveying Emotion:

Emoticons - Many comments contain the smiley face. :) It has always reminded me of Walmart, so it took a while for the association to fade. Now I LOVE the round yellow faces! They are like happy little bubbles of joy, unless they are unhappy faces. :(

Asterisks - Many use them for sound effects. **clink**, **crash**, **gulp**, **giggle**. These fun additions add another dimension to the comment and tickle my funny bone.

Exclamation Points – Okay. I’ll admit it. I am an exclamation point junkie! When wanting to convey my big goofy grin, I use them like periods. Honest to God. I have to go through every happy comment and take out at least half of them before Replying. Sometimes my itchy finger presses Reply too soon.

sample of sarcasm Continue reading