Every year, I try to beat my numbers from the last. I thought 2014 blew past 2013 and I’d say, “So long sucker!” while smirking at it in the rear view mirror. More followers + more blog posts = more views. That’s logical, right? Pshh!
Here’s what WordPress sent me this year.
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 49,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 18 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
I checked out my 2013 report and guess what? My blog was visited 49,000 times that year too! That’s the exact same stinkin’ performance at the Sydney Opera House two years running. I came up short. GAH!
What do I have to do to hit 50,000?
WordPress figured I would be bummed. Those crazy monkeys suggested I write new posts about the topics which scored huge views.
I scrambled through my stats. What was most popular in 2014? Boobs! Of course! NOTE TO SELF: Write more posts about boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Continue reading →
Start flapping your wings! It’s time to Use Me and Abuse Me, so fly to the Wild Ride and meet my friends. Come with ONE blog post and paste it in my comment section. Leave a one line teaser and then mingle or chirp away with the guests. Click on a few links and say “Howdy do!”
Tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your nest. (Do turkeys have nests?)
Follow a few and they may follow your blog!
Bring one of your own posts. If you leave a friend’s, they may not come to party with us. It’s no fun to knock on a door and wait…and wait…and wait…It ruins the atmosphere.
Do not leave your link and fly off without clicking on a few. This is a major party foul.
Leave ONE link. Two will send you into my spam filter and that is always so embarrassing for both of us.
Have a blast meeting my friends. I am truly grateful for each one of them. They are the best in the blogosphere!
I roasted a turkey with all the sides and there’s a tofurkey for my vegetarian friends. This is the kick off to the holidays so grab a glass of cheer!
Are there any Wild Turkeys out there? I’m wild and out there. Another Use Me and Abuse Me Blog Hop is this Wednesday, November 19th. Make a note of it on your calendar and come back to the Wild Ride. It will be a feast for your wild turkey eyes!
On Wednesday morning, leave a link to ONE of your blog posts in my comment section. Add a short hook and then the fun will begin. Mingle with the other guests and check out their blogs and they’ll click back to yours. Pick up new subscribers!
The Wild Party will start at 6:00 AM Mountain Time. Be sure to bring your dancing shoes!
Happy Halloween! It’s time to Use Me and Abuse Me by digging up ONE link from your own blog and burying it in my comment section. Click on a few of them and maybe they’ll stalk you back at your haunt.
Make sure to bring a link to a particular story. Otherwise, they may arrive and not know where to look. You don’t want them to go INTO THE BASEMENT! or INTO THE ATTIC! I doubt they would take a shower, but DON’T GO IN THERE!
BEWARE! Only bring ONE link or you’ll end up in the Chamber of Spam. The vile smell of rot alone could make you ill. You don’t want your headstone to read, “I told you I was sick.”
IF YOU LEAVE A LINK, CLICK ON A FEW! No one likes a witch (or warlock), who fills her cape with goodies and then flies away on her broom.
Tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your crypt.
I made some witch’s brew, (my Aunt Helga’s favorite recipe), and the eye of newt stew is bubbling. Help yourself to the deep-fried crow’s feet. The warty toad dip is especially tasty.
Tell your Facebook and Twitter friends. The more, the SCARIER!