BEWARE of Cyberspace Snake Oil!

Have you been bought?

Seduced by the glitz, the glam, attracting paparazzi like steel filings to a magnet, and for some, the bouffant hairdo their personal stylist creates, many are in a full-out sprint to the top. They don’t care what they have to do to get there. Nothing is comparable to feeling adored and having screaming fans shout out, “We want more! We want more!” They sneeze and fans applaud.

Beware of snake oil salesmen

 

Most of us, like 99.99%, will never experience this. But what if you could buy this feeling?

Would you consider buying people to like you?

Continue reading

Blogging Tips from a Wild Rider: How to Hook Readers

Blogging tips

I’ve been to spam prison and the school of ‘We’ll Knock Your Ass Down and See How Fast You Get Up, Sucker,’ but through it all I’ve been that long-lasting sponge that soaks up information without the nasty smell. So I will begin 2016 with a new series. One that will help you transform into “Super Blogger” without the unwieldy cape and tights. Okay. You can wear what you want.

Credentials:

Although I haven’t made a dime from this blog, not even a penny, I’ve learned a ton over nearly five years and writing 460 posts. Yep. If you disregard my lack of income, you could say I was something of a professional.

Where did I learn these valuable lessons I am willing to impart? Why through zillions of blog posts read online as well as the aforementioned ‘School Of Hard Knocks’ or SOHK. If you’ve been blogging for a while, you have probably been there too. It’s located in a war zone where IEDs explode all around you. You hide inside a windowless, bombed-out shelter in the middle of a sandy desert wilderness exposed in all directions. Afraid to step, you fear blowing your beloved blog to smithereens. You remain inside, trapped, naked and afraid, and with no way out until you solve the problem. I’ve been there many times.

I have a designated parking spot with my name on it.

Lesson #1 a.

You may be unaware of this simple trick to bring readers to your blog. No. Not by using the word, ‘sex, boobs, or I’m cheating on my husband’ in the title. I’ll get to that another day. This trick is solved by simply pushing a button. NOT THE RED BUTTON! Continue reading

Drop and Hop for New Followers, If You Dare…

Boston graveyard

Want new followers? The party starts right now. It will be fast and fun. Speed is good especially when zombies may lurk and your name is whispered by the wind. OooOOoooOOOoooo…..

DROP a link to your blog in the comments, including a pitch, describing what you write about.

haunted drop and hop

HOP to other blogs and check them out. Like what you see? Subscribe. Want them to know you came from the Drop and Hop Party? Tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your haunt.

Blast this link on Twitter and Facebook or whatever flavor social media you prefer. The more that participate, the more followers you will gain.

The witch’s brew is bubbling and the finger sandwiches are fresh. The barista can make anything you like. The bar is always open.

The party will last as long as the ever living dead, so stop by anytime. 

Enjoy!

Please consider following my blog too, or else…. *insert cackle here*

 

Drop and Hop! A new way to gain followers.

DJ KSmash

Ready to gain new followers? The party starts right now. It will be fast and fun. It’s like speed-dating for blog followers!

DROP a link to your blog in my comments and include a pitch that describes what you write about.

Example:

“Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride” is about my wild Colorado adventures. You’ll find photos, humor and what’s it like to be a Wild Rider who has faced a few challenges. “Bring it on, life!” is my mantra. http://susielindau.com

HOP to other blogs and check them out. Like what you see? Subscribe. Want them to know you came from the Drop and Hop Party? Leave a comment on one of their blog posts or come back here and comment on their pitch.

Blast this link out on Twitter and Facebook or whatever flavor social media you prefer. The more that participate, the more followers you will gain.

The freshest bakery has been flown in from France and the tables are laden with buffet-style brunch. The barista can make anything you like. The bar is always open.

Enjoy!

My son, DJ KSmash, is in the house, so don’t forget to dance!

Free download:

Thanks for stopping by the Wild Ride! I hope you’ll follow my blog.

Click to follow my Wild Tweets here – @susielindau and Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride on Facebook. I post photos on Instagram at Susie_Lindau.

Heads UP! Something New for You.

head's up

So you’re a blogger and your stats are down, your regular commenters seem to be on vacation and your steady stream of followers has dried up to a trickle.

Two reasons why:

  1. We’re all busy. There’s a lot of competition out there.
  2. WP Engineers pulled the “You May Like” from alongside the “Blogs I Follow” in the Reader. This is the first crack down on Spam Following. There may be more to come. Lots of scalawags were abusing the system. Have you seen brand new bloggers with over a thousand likes on one post? I have. They “spam follow” thousands to get tons of views and follow-backs.

So how can I help you? Continue reading

Spamming Aruba

Aruba beach

Many of us dream of island sunsets and endless beaches. I have written a few photo essays about this kind of family vacation. One of them, Aruba, Natalie Holloway, Bad Hair and Photos, recently received a spike in views. Classmates reported Natalie missing ten years ago last weekend. I included a waiter’s conspiracy theory in my post, drawing legit traffic.

Unfortunately slimy spammers also staked out turf on my Aruban beach. Continue reading

Pantsing While Plodding Toward Publication

writing journeyI started writing over four-and-a-half years ago. I had an idea for a non-fiction book, a snarky take on Boulder women. If you’re not familiar with how to assemble a book proposal, non-fiction is skiing down a gentle slope compared to fiction where the writer must plod along the desert and climb craggy mountains with blown out tennis shoes and holes in their socks. I’ll get to that later. At that time, I only needed a query letter, a table of contents, and a few sample chapters. Continue reading

Check Out DJ KSmash’s Latest at My Blog Share Party!

I’m kicking off another round of Use Me and Abuse Me Blog Share Days. Yep. Days. These blog hop parties always become ragers!

How does it work? Share ONE of your blog posts in the comment section and click on a few. That’s how you get this party started.

What’s the goal? If you make a connection with a new blogger, they may follow your blog.

How do you increase your chances to gain blog followers? The more you click, the more will click back to your place.

Major party foul? Don’t drop a link and then fly. You wouldn’t stop at a party, fill your bag with appetizers and leave. Sheesh!

Don’t leave Two Links or you’ll end up in my spam filter and that is so embarrassing for both of us.

KSmash LindauHow will we fill this place with new bloggers to check out? SPREAD THE WORD THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA! Post on Facebook and Tweet invitations to your friends. The more the merrier!

When leaving a comment, tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your place. (Clicking on the name above comments will teleport you to their blog.)

DJ KSmash is in the house and will drop his latest. Don’t forget to DANCE!

I Predict More Stories About Boobs in 2015

Every year, I try to beat my numbers from the last. I thought 2014 blew past 2013 and I’d say, “So long sucker!” while smirking at it in the rear view mirror. More followers + more blog posts = more views. That’s logical, right? Pshh!

Here’s what WordPress sent me this year.

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 49,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 18 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

I checked out my 2013 report and guess what? My blog was visited 49,000 times that year too! That’s the exact same stinkin’ performance at the Sydney Opera House two years running. I came up short. GAH!

What do I have to do to hit 50,000?

WordPress figured I would be bummed. Those crazy monkeys suggested I write new posts about the topics which scored huge views.

I scrambled through my stats. What was most popular in 2014? Boobs! Of course! NOTE TO SELF: Write more posts about boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Continue reading

Wild Convergence On The Mountain

converge 5

There was a whole lot of converging going on at Breckenridge Ski Resort. I took several photos of my wild Colorado adventure as it emerged. Continue reading

Gobbling Up the Holidays Blog Hop – Use Me and Abuse Me!

fancy bird 2

Start flapping your wings! It’s time to Use Me and Abuse Me, so fly to the Wild Ride and meet my friends. Come with ONE blog post and paste it in my comment section. Leave a one line teaser and then mingle or chirp away with the guests. Click on a few links and say “Howdy do!”

Tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your nest. (Do turkeys have nests?)

Follow a few and they may follow your blog!

  • Bring one of your own posts. If you leave a friend’s, they may not come to party with us. It’s no fun to knock on a door and wait…and wait…and wait…It ruins the atmosphere.
  • Do not leave your link and fly off without clicking on a few. This is a major party foul.
  • Leave ONE link. Two will send you into my spam filter and that is always so embarrassing for both of us.

Have a blast meeting my friends. I am truly grateful for each one of them. They are the best in the blogosphere!

I roasted a turkey with all the sides and there’s a tofurkey for my vegetarian friends. This is the kick off to the holidays so grab a glass of cheer!

Don’t forget to DANCE! 

I found a great new video to kick off the party. Meet my new feathered friends!

Spread the word and invite your friends. The more, the merrier!  

Heads Up! Wild Turkeys Abound

Wild Turkey partyAre there any Wild Turkeys out there? I’m wild and out there. Another Use Me and Abuse Me Blog Hop is this Wednesday, November 19th. Make a note of it on your calendar and come back to the Wild Ride. It will be a feast for your wild turkey eyes!

On Wednesday morning, leave a link to ONE of your blog posts in my comment section. Add a short hook and then the fun will begin. Mingle with the other guests and check out their blogs and they’ll click back to yours. Pick up new subscribers!

The Wild Party will start at 6:00 AM Mountain Time. Be sure to bring your dancing shoes!

Do you look forward to Thanksgiving?

 

Happy Haunted Blog Party

crypts 1

Happy Halloween! It’s time to Use Me and Abuse Me by digging up ONE link from your own blog and burying it in my comment section. Click on a few of them and maybe they’ll stalk you back at your haunt.

Make sure to bring a link to a particular story. Otherwise, they may arrive and not know where to look. You don’t want them to go INTO THE BASEMENT! or INTO THE ATTIC! I doubt they would take a shower, but DON’T GO IN THERE!

BEWARE! Only bring ONE link or you’ll end up in the Chamber of Spam. The vile smell of rot alone could make you ill. You don’t want your headstone to read, “I told you I was sick.”

IF YOU LEAVE A LINK, CLICK ON A FEW! No one likes a witch (or warlock), who fills her cape with goodies and then flies away on her broom.

Tell them, “Susie sent me,” and they should click back to your crypt.

I made some witch’s brew, (my Aunt Helga’s favorite recipe), and the eye of newt stew is bubbling. Help yourself to the deep-fried crow’s feet. The warty toad dip is especially tasty.

on my grave

The crypt keeper 5

 Tell your Facebook and Twitter friends. The more, the SCARIER!

HEADS UP! Wild Halloween Party Ahead.

The crypt keeper 3Hey, all you Wild Riders! I’m having a Halloween blog hop on Wednesday. Come with a link from ONE of your blog posts and click on a few. This party should haunt you for days and nights…

It will start at 6:00 AM Mountain Time. Please come and Use Me and Abuse Me! Meet my ghoulish friends. Maybe they’ll follow you home…

Spine-tingling yours,the crypt keeper 4

See you Wednesday…

Want More Followers? Use Me and Abuse Me – Colorful Colorado Edition

Eaglesmere1

Hello Wild Riders! If you would like more blog followers, here’s your chance.

Every writer loves to watch their blog grow. But it’s tough when bloggers we have followed for a while take a break or stop posting. Comments and views dwindle. Although new readers follow our blogs every day, we need to bring them back. How do we do that? COMMUNITY. We build it through reaching out and connecting with them. We get to know them through reading their blogs, leaving comments, and following them on social media.

Here’s your chance to build your own community. Use Me and Abuse Me while virtually partying down with my friends in the comment section!

Bring a link from ONE of your blog posts and promote it briefly in my comment section. Click on a few of my friend’s links and check out their digs. Hang out for a while. Get acquainted. Leave a comment and tell them, “Susie sent me.” They should click back to your place. Then come back to the party and click on a few more. The more you click, the more fun you’ll have!

  • Do not leave a link to one of your friend’s posts. They won’t come back to party with us. It’s no fun to knock on a door and wait…and wait…and wait…….It ruins the atmosphere.
  • Do not leave your link and run without clicking on a few. This is a major party foul.
  • Leave ONE link. Two will send you into my spam filter and that is always so embarrassing for both of us.

So have a blast meeting my friends. They are the best in the blogosphere!

My son, DJ Kelly Smash, is in the house and he’ll be dropping the bass. He’s used to ragers on my blog, so come back anytime. This party usually lasts for days.

The bar is stocked and the barista can make any coffee drink imaginable. She’s amazing! The buffet is filled with pastries and delectable treats flown in from around the world. Sit back relax and click to meet my friends. Oh yeah and don’t forget to DANCE!  

PLEASE SHARE! Let’s make this party the biggest ever!