She dipped her toe into the placid lake, then stepped in and submerged herself. Her body slid through the water like oil. The cold penetrated her bones the farther out she swam. Storm clouds gathered overhead and rain began to patter. She turned around while slicing through the tranquil surface. Her stomach rumbled. Something moved along the edge of the forest. She sunk back down into the lake and waited.
She lunged at the unsuspecting creature and snapped. After thrashing for a short time, it went limp. As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.
~~~
Can you guess which animal took the evening swim?
Have you ever been afraid to go into the water?
For more 100 word flash fictions check out Madison Wood’s blog
That’s a great piece of flash fiction, Susie. Alligator or crock? I saw Jaws when it first came out, and it really spooked me! Still does!
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Thank you so much Lynn! Take your pick.
I got a huge bruise on my leg from kicking the seat ahead of me when I saw Jaws in the theater. Hahaha! The guy ahead of me wasn’t too happy….
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I had a feeling something like that was coming. LOL I have come to expect these little twists from you my dear. Well done! 😀
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I hope I never get predictable! Hahaha!
Thanks Debra.
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You’re not predictable. It’s that we are both thinking like writers. I love your writing. I was totally surprised last week.
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I knew what you meant. : D I love writing these twisted tales…..Thank you so much Debra!
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A story with real bite! Enjoyed it. (gotta love those gators)
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You are too funny philosophermouse!
Thanks. I know………gulp
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A huge alligator :O) Great story; thanks for sharing!
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She was a big one alright! Thanks for stopping by to read..
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100 words is, to me, a challenge. You really whipped up something real in that short length. Excellent 🙂
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Oh that is so nice of you to say Words! I appreciate that. I love writing these since I never know how they are going to end until the last sentence just pops into my head!
Thank you for coming by to read.
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I would be reluctant to venture into uncharted waters. Thanks for using “she” to narrate the creature. 🙂 “As the water turned crimson, she seemed to smile with a toothy grin.” Like that. I guess another shade of beauty, I am sure August will appreciate that too!
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True that! I am sure that to another crocodile, she is a beauty, blood dripping crooked smile and all!
Thanks Yatin!
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I read this differently than everyone else did. I do LOVE that it was a croc, but all the way though, I imagined a female creature.
Well done!
The link to my drabble isL http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/white-rot/
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It did start out as a story about a woman taking a midnight swim and then I got the croc idea! Hahaha!
Thanks Quill!
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Brilliant and in 100 words to boot! I am staying on dry land now
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Thanks Chrissie! I am too……
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Nice way to nail the unsuspecting creature… I mean reader!
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Thanks Norv. I am glad it “grabbed” you!
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Beautiful writing, and yes I guessed a crocodile, but only at the last moments.
for mine:
http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/flash-friday-soupe-du-jour/
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I am glad you didn’t figure it out earlier! Thank you Judee!
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Nothing like a dainty croc dipping her toe in the lake. Great stuff.
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A dainty croc indeed! Thanks writingbothsides!
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Yikes! By the time I realised what she was, it was too late!
Nice and snappy, Susie! (Sorry, couldn’t resist! :D)
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Hahaha! Thanks for swinging by the swamp.
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Sooo good! I didn’t see that ending coming. Nicely done 😉
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Thanks Elisa! I am glad that I tricked you into thinking it was a woman going for a leisurely swim…….
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I guessed wrong…didn’t think Croc, as the cypress knee swamp picture you posted looks like my back yard…or very close proximity, anyway, and we have gators round here.
Bless You
paul
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Either one is right! I wasn’t specific in my mind when I wrote it and I found the photo afterward. If you would have guessed little bunny, then I would have to say, “WRONG!” Hahaha!
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I loved that song! It was a pleasant surprise.
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Thanks Edward for subscribing! I am glad you liked the twist.
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We’re…. Okay, I have this term ‘crack song’, which is a song that, as soon as you have listened to it, you want to listen to it again. This is a crack song.
Not to take anything from your writing! That is good too. Better than Stephen King! Even if that’s not remotely an appropriate comparison!
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Wow! Thanks.
I loved that song as soon as I heard it.
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Me too!
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I enjoyed this piece. Nice twist!
I was a kid when Jaws came out, so I was afraid of the water for a while.
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Thanks Theresa!
I was afraid of the water too! Jaws was an amazing movie.
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I love that it was about a crocodile but lots of the description could be said about a woman. It really personified the crocodile without insulting the reader.
Here’s mine:
http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/flash-fiction-4/
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That was the idea! Thanks for reading!
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I thought a crocodile would be the winner. I thought perhaps a cattle egret landed nearby,
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Awesome.. She was. Hahaha!
Thanks for reading!
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it’s a croc, I honestly afraid in water when I was a kid but when I get older I became a beach lover …
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Nice! It is good to face your fears…
Thanks for coming by!
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