A Very Strange Appointment or Where is My Crown?

I recently went to my annual dental check-up. Yes, annual and not 6 month since I rarely have a problem with my teeth. When I was young, I looked forward to the cherry flavored polish and a whiter smile. If you have been following my blog, you know that nothing in my life seems to follow the usual routine and this appointment was no exception.

After signing in with the receptionist, I met the doctor who would be inspecting my pearly whites. I had scrubbed them with baking soda back in the day and had abraded the top of a tooth where it attached to my gum. I would be getting the groove bonded and a cavity filled.

After settling into the comfy recliner, the dental hygienist came in and said, “We’ll need to match the bonding agent with your tooth.”

My blood ran cold. “I guess I should have bleached them before coming in.”

“Oh don’t worry about it. You teeth look whiter than most of our patients.” I thought of all those cigarette smokers and people with rotted teeth they probably see. I considered bolting out of there, but it was too late. The doctor came in.

After introducing herself she said, “Well, let’s see what you picked out for a match. Hmm… In the realm of all colors, this looks pretty good.”

“Pretty good or really good?” I asked.

“I think you’ll be happy with it. In the realm of all my dentistry…..” And she just faded off.

“Realm?” I thought, “What’s up with realm? Maybe she was trying to make a joke.”

“I’ve only had one other small filling in my life so I don’t remember the procedure.”

“Are you kidding? That is fantastic. In the realm of dentistry, that is almost unheard of. Good for you.”

“Three times! She has said the word “realm” three times in as many minutes!”

Once they got started, she got out the hypodermic needle to numb my gum. “In the realm of all pain, you will feel a prick, but do your best to stay still since it will have to stay in your gum for a while.”

“Was this a contest? That would be four freakin’ realms!”

I felt the needle go in and for the first time understood why some avoided dentists like the plague.

“This is going to work like a little jack hammer. It’s going to dig out the decayed tooth matter.” She said this behind a mask. As I inhaled the powder now clouding my vision once in the form of a tooth, I wondered how healthy this was for my realm.

“In the realm of all tooth decay, this is a really small one.”

Has she said the word realm 5 or 6 times? By then I had lost count.

After they were all done caulking and patching, I got up to leave.

I was dying to know if she was saying the word on a dare, if it was some kind of game, or if realm was her word for the day. I started to ask, but a strand of drool started to slop out of the corner of frozen mouth and I couldn’t put the words together.

“In the realm of all my clients, it was really great meeting you today,” she said with a gorgeous smile.

“Abwa , lawba wah,” was all I could get out.

I will try to remember to ask about her realm during next year’s appointment.


When it became apparent that you were in a situation that seemed out of the ordinary, did you ask about it?

Does the photo bring back any horrid dental memories?

Silly family photo by Susie Lindau

91 thoughts on “A Very Strange Appointment or Where is My Crown?

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    1. Hahaha! I’ve have never had a stranger appointment. She probably was taking advantage of the fact that I couldn’t comment with the Novocaine and her fingers in my mouth! 🙂
      Thanks Linda! Happy Monday to you~

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  1. Love the photo, Susie. LOL I’ve repressed many dental memories. Since I met my new dentist—whose practice runs like a spa—I enter and leave pretty carefree. What a difference a massage chair makes!

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    1. I took that picture years ago for a Christmas card. The caption read, “All Kelly wants for Christmas is to lose his teeth.” He still had baby teeth to get rid of..I still can’t believe that neither of my kids went into acting!

      The spa treatment sounds awesome. I hope to ONLY go back for cleanings in the future…
      Thanks August!

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  2. Ha! This made me laugh :). I am also very curious and tempted to ask people about it when they act strangely… But it is difficult to do so! I don’t know if I would dare asking your dentist in your place for example… Maybe I would try to make a joke out of it to see how she reacted.

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    1. I really thought about it and with the Novocaine totally kicking in, I just didn’t trust what words would come out of my mouth….Next time I will ask in a very polite way like, “Hey! What was up with the overuse of the word ‘realm’ the last time I was here?” 🙂
      Thanks Cecile!

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    1. That was one of my thoughts too! I can’t imagine using a word that many times in such a short period of time….it was too weirdly funny!
      Thanks for stopping by to read~

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  3. Bwahahahaha!!! In all the realm of dental stories this one contains a most mental dentist!! Thank you for bringing a smile to my morning realm (gah!)!!

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  4. In the realm of patients, yours was an amusing but trying experience. Now about the realm of STFU… 😉 Oh… don’t forget the realm of paying the bill.

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  5. As someone whose curiosity frequently gets the better of him, I would *not* recommend asking people about their quirky speech peccadilloes. It only makes you look like jerk. But seriously… there’s no good reason to use any word THAT much.

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    1. It was so ridiculous that if I hadn’t been under the influence of a hypo I would have asked, but I didn’t trust my judgement at the time. I think I counted 7-8 times which for a weird word was really quirky!

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  6. oh i ask, every single time. my wife hates it cause i call people out.

    maybe they kept saying realm because it was “take your sword to work” day.

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    1. Tyler it is so nice of you to stop by! Before I thought of using crown in the title which had a double meaning that was hard to beat, I thought of scepter. I didn’t see her sword, but I bet she brought one.

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  7. I’m a bit obsessive about my teeth – I’m the same way, though, my teeth are usually great, so going to the dentist isn’t a big priority, except for enjoying the praise they heap on my flossing acumen.

    When it veers from the ordinary at all, though? *shudder*

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    1. Seriously! One time I went to a dental hygienist that was totally sadistic. I have great teeth so it seemed as though she wanted to punish me somehow. She actually stabbed me twice with that hooky pick they use! OUCH!

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    1. She very well could have been. It is really a tough word to use. I should have challenged everyone to try to use the word “realm” at least 10 times today. Hahaha!
      Thanks Marcia!

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  8. Hey, Susie. Sounds like an interesting appointment. You should take a roll of duct tape with you next year. Seriously though, some people just seem to like (and overuse) certain words or phrases.

    I had heard stories about one of my mother’s cousins, but it wasn’t until I had to call this woman about family tree info…and heard the phrase, ‘And such and stuff,’ forty or fifty times over the course of an hour…that I actually believed Mom. She’d been saying it for years. So be prepared. You could be hearing ‘in the realm of…’ forever.

    And yes. The picture…and even the word ‘dentist’ brings back horrid memories of every appointment I’ve ever had. There is the faintest memory of one experience that was pretty good, but I don’t know if it’s just from wishful thinking, or if it actually was. 🙂

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    1. You may have been in a dreamlike state after being drugged…Hahaha!
      Your story is crazy too! The difference in this is that it was a word she was having problems putting into sentences. It wasn’t a filler or an expression. Can you imagine LIVING in her realm??? LOL! I bet she is a hoot!

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  9. That is freakin’ hilarious. Twice maybe she had recently read an MG or something but all those times she must have been put up to it. I used to love office pranks 🙂 in the realm of duty

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  10. Haha! Thanks for the chuckles, Susie. In the realm of all my dental experiences, I’d say your experience was definitely strange, but I’m sure glad your dentist didn’t try to rip you off, like many that I’ve come across. In the realm of all my expenses, paying crooked dentists is one of the worst!

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    1. It was strange so I had to share. I wanted to talk to her assistant, but she never came back. I think she was in tears after laughing so hard in the break room…

      Luckily this dentist office is very honest and the comic relief is free!
      Thanks Lynn!

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  11. Hilarious, and I’m as dental-phobic as they come (usually it requires elephant sedatives to get me to go). Makes me wonder why those sneaky dentists always give the kiddies candy to take home. Kinda counter-productive, eh?

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  12. Hi,
    What an odd word to use with a patient, surly there would of been something behind it all.
    I have a fear of needles going into my mouth, but once done the fear is still there, and at the end the fear of the bill. 😀

    Like

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