The Lost City – Flash Fiction

“I’m sorry Jack. You’re too poor. My father will not allow me to marry you.” Guinelda’s words stung like a thousand hornets. With a heavy heart he dragged himself back to his downtrodden farm.

Later, as he slept on his straw bed, a cool breeze blew through the open window and whispered in his ear, Go to the Lost City. It is there you’ll find your fortune.

He bolted out of bed and looked out the window. The withered crops swished in the moonlight.

Jack packed and left his dilapidated cottage. He asked the wizened old woman in the village about the Lost City. “How’ll I ever find it?”

“Listen to the wind. It will guide you,” she hissed.

Jack thanked her and started on his trek.

It wasn’t long before another whisper blew in the breeze. Follow the sun, so Jack journeyed west.

Jack came upon a dark woods surrounded by a high stone wall. After hours of searching, he found a gate. His hand shook as he lifted the latch and it lurched open. Once inside, it slammed shut and the forest transformed into a city made of gold. His heart exploded with joy. He filled his pack with as much gold as he could carry, but as he left through the gate, it all disappeared.

He ran back into the forest and once again it transformed. He stuffed his pack to bursting, but when he walked through the gate, his treasure evaporated.

Jack dragged himself back inside and leaned against an ancient oak. He sat down and cried. He closed his eyes and thought about the last time he’d seen Guinelda.

Then he heard the wind whisper in his ear. Jack! I’m here!

He opened his eyes, but couldn’t believe it. Guinelda stood right in front of him! He was overcome with joy as she fell into his arms. He showed her the Lost City and its treasures.

Later as the lovers sipped from golden chalices, they shared their dreams of a life together. But when they walked out of the gate, Guinelda disappeared.

~~~~~

This flash is a bit longer at 350 words, but after seeing the fabulous photo prompt by Stacy Plowright, I thought, “The Lost City!” This is a continuation of my Twisted Tale series and is my 150th post! Yeah!

Have you ever dreamt you found a treasure and then were disappointed when you woke up?

Feel free to leave the link to your flash fiction in my comment section. For more from the Fictioneers click here.

The party is still rolling on my Use Me and Abuse Me Day post. Stop by and make some new friends!

72 thoughts on “The Lost City – Flash Fiction

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  1. This was such a well-executed piece! I really, really loved how it read like a classic short fable — the pacing in particular was so reminiscent that I had couldn’t help but smile the whole way through, despite the sad ending. You have some serious talent. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but my book, The Bellman Chronicles, will be FREE to download on Sept. 10 – 11! Check it out on my Amazon Kindle page.. You won’t be disappointed. And if you can slip me a review, I’d be forever grateful…

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  3. Your flash fictions are the Bomb! You make such effective use of the words, even with so few as your cap. Lovely and lush is that tale. This one is at the traditional ceiling for flash fiction, it is a little backstory or ‘meanwhile…elsewhere in the city…’ http://wp.me/P1T1hf-8n

    Thanks for ‘The Lost City’, just a wonderful story.

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  4. I like the idea of flash fiction; it makes you edit and re-edit until the narration is taut. I loved your piece here: the idea, the use of action verbs, and smooth narration. I look forward to reading more!

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    1. Such a great question! If I expanded it, I think she would be a copy in his “virtual” world!
      No worries! It was a wild weekend for me too and I am still catching up!
      Thanks so much for taking the time Debra!

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  5. That was a good fairytale, Susie. The sky in the photo was well represented in your story. I don’t think this line is quite correct… She took her gnarled hand in his… flog me if I’m wrong with one of the branches from the dark woods.

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    1. Oh your right! There were a couple of errors in this one. I was really late on Friday since I had been partying on my Use Me and Abuse Me Day post.
      Blame it on the hangover….. Hahaha!
      Thanks Ted! And you can keep the branch as a souvenir!

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