Ice Sculptured – 200 Word Flash Fiction

Mary had brushed off her mother’s warning about the shortcut through the woods. Footsteps crunched in the snow behind her. She had been stalked.

He grabbed her by the arm. “Gotcha! I’ll give you a head start, little girl. Ready? GO!”

She bolted from the shabbily dressed man. Rounding the corner of the old mill, its blades dashed through the frigid water in the cold evening air. Then she passed a stand of evergreens. Snow covered needles fell in her wake. She slid down the embankment onto the ice-covered lake. After reaching the middle, she stopped to catch her breath. He closed the gap behind her.

“Gotcha!”

Cold fingers grasped her slender neck. With a loud crack, the icy surface opened up. Mary fell forward. He fell in.

“Help! Please help me!” He cried as he splashed around in the icy water.

She crept on her hands and knees away from him, careful not to break through and then began to sob.

Soon all she heard was the whisper of the wind.

She glanced down and screamed. He stared at her with pleading eyes while clawing at the ice beneath her. Then he slid away trapped inside the frozen tomb.

Have you ever skated on thin ice literally or metaphorically?

The photo prompt is by Lora Mitchell.

For another one of my twisted tales, click here.

You are welcome to leave the link to your flash fiction in my comment section even if you used a different photo.

96 thoughts on “Ice Sculptured – 200 Word Flash Fiction

Add yours

  1. Great story Susie! I can’t seem to frame this one, though. I picture Mary on the ice with her grandfather, I also picture her on the ice with a serial killer! Perhaps you explained it somewhere in the comments section, but I purposely avoided it in the event that you did. I thrive on ambiguity! 🙂

    Thoroughtly enjoyed it!

    John

    Like

    1. It is sometimes hard to project the tone. I thought that mentioning “little girl” in a derogatory way would set it up as well as “his icy fingers around her slender neck”…Are you avoiding horror today John?? Not me. I dive right in! 🙂 Thanks and have a splendid weekend in the Colorado sunshine!

      Like

      1. Perhaps, but seeing as Halloween is right around the corner, I won’t be avoiding it for long! You’ll definitely notice a theme in my upcoming stories! 🙂

        You enjoy that sunshine too! We’re pretty lucky, eh?

        Like

    1. She was! But I think she may have thought there may be a chance that he wouldn’t make it across the lake. When I was growing up, the lakes we skated on were spring fed and every winter someone broke through….
      Thanks Rochelle!

      Like

    1. Thank you Barbara! While growing up in the land of ice and snow, it was one of my fears as a youngster. My parents always warned me about skating on thin ice. In this case, it’s what saved her! Yay!

      Like

  2. Smart girl. She listened to her intuition/instincts/small voice inside of her … warning her this was a dangerous man. During grammar school, taking a short cut home, I fell through some ice, waste deep. School mates saved me. I get reminded at every school reunion.

    Like

    1. That must have been so scary! How ironic is my story. Waste deep without sure footing could have been fatal. Thank God you had friends with you!
      Sounds like a story to blog about sometime…
      Thanks Lora!

      Like

    1. Thanks so much Ellie!
      I didn’t know either until the end! I had always thought about the horror of what it would be like to break through the ice and see those above while the current sweeps you away….a pretty terrible way to die.

      Like

  3. Oh, I like this one! Dark and twisted… very well done… especially the ending… “then he slid away inside the icy tomb.” Such cold finality.

    Excellent wordcraft, Susie!

    Tina swears my middle name is ‘thin ice’. It’s probably a good thing I skate so well! Lol!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑