10 Secrets of a Happy Marriage!

My husband, Danny, and I celebrated our 25th anniversary on October 10th. Many have asked, “What’s your secret to a happy marriage?” Here are my Top Ten Secrets!

Secret #1:

You have to be willing to go the extra mile.

I went one thousand miles when moving from Wisconsin to Colorado after our wedding. Danny is the most romantic guy around. He asked me to marry him at the top of the gondola in Aspen after giving me nine plastic rings over the weekend. He continues to surprise me. “Gasp!”

Secret #2:

He’s my best friend and I don’t keep secrets from him.

I can tell him anything, but I can also read his mind when it’s screaming, “That is way too much information, Susie. Sheesh!”

Secret #3.

I can trust him with anything.

But it took years to teach him not to eat the last piece of cake without asking me to split it first. He has also led me on some wild adventures without considering the risks. His faith in me gave me confidence. *gulp*

Susie looking down Whale's Tail

Secret #4.

We have common interests.

I had skied back in Wisconsin but had to learn to keep up in Colorado. We both love outdoor adventures. Our anniversary is being celebrated for a week this year in California. We both agree that the best kind of adventure includes travel!

Secret #5:

Appreciate the differences.

I am philosophical and love to yammer on about life while navel-gazing. I can tell when he has hit the glaze-over stage. My first clue is when he stares at me blankly and hasn’t said anything for over a half an hour. Yes, I occasionally take a breath.

He loves business and has learned to talk fast since I have about three minutes before my mind wanders off. “Wow, look at that butterfly. What? Sure, I was listening.”

Secret #6.

He’s my super fan.

When I first started blogging, he printed out my posts and kept them in a binder. He has total belief in me which inspired Who’s In Your Corner?

We support each other’s hopes and dreams and pick each other up after every disappointment. Often, when I make a mistake, he says, “Aww, that could happen to anyone.”

ref counts down

Secret #7:

Apologize when mistakes are made.

This one is tricky especially since I am always right. Kidding! I think it has more to do with letting things go and developing amnesia.

Secret #8:

We have given up trying to change accept each other for who we are.

He has seen me at my best and worst and still loves me. Who could ask for more?

bad hair day susielindau

Secret #9:

We have the same beliefs and shared dreams for a future together.

In Telluride 25 years ago, I told him my invisible punch list of what I was looking for in a relationship. He agreed with almost everything. He wasn’t so sure about dogs, but our third, Roxy, is his favorite by far.

dog sleeping on back

He has been completely involved in raising our children. They love to talk business with him, thank the Lord! (See Secret #5)

Hanging out on the deck

Secret #10:

The most important factor in having a successful marriage is …..

You gotta have a sense of humor.

We laugh all the time; at ourselves and each other.

When I was pregnant, he used to sing, “Roly Poly, Daddy’s little fatty!” Okay, so I didn’t always find that amusing, but looking back it was funny, kinda.

He’s my muse and in almost every one of my posts. I wrote, KO’d by Karma, after being kicked in the butt for laughing at him, but I learned my lesson, well, not quite yet.

Standing jokes:

We attended an endless mass this summer that included a wedding of some random young couple. The priest said, “Back in the day, many didn’t see their 40th birthday so ‘til death do us part was no big deal. Nowadays, many live to be one hundred years old. You could easily be married for seventy-five years! Seventy-five years! That’s a death sentence for some people.”

While the congregation laughed and the newlyweds looked concerned, Danny looked at me and said, “Fifty more years!”

Here’s a virtual toast to our Wild Ride!

Wedding photo

Our 30th wedding anniversary is coming soon!

Click for more of the Wild Ride.

Related posts:

Oprah and Me!

Our Secret is Out

Who’s in Your Corner?

156 thoughts on “10 Secrets of a Happy Marriage!

Add yours

    Great list of secrets! (but I think any relationship that lasts knows those already…)

    Have a wonderful celebration, and many more years to come!


    1. Thanks! That is so true. I thought I would share it with the hopes of a few smiles and to provide enlightenment to anyone just starting out. I remember a few couples that couldn’t agree on whether to have kids. They were doomed from the start.
      Thanks so much! We plan to celebrate for a week! Hahaha!


    1. Awwww! Thanks so much JM! You made my day!
      I never want to come off as an expert on anything so I always throw in some humor.. Have a great weekend!


    1. Thanks Chris! It is! I can’t believe it has been that long. I can clearly remember being in Telluride and rattling off my list..It is weird how some memories stand out!


      1. All Portland can talk about now, as in today as in this weekend, is… fierce rain coming our way. HERE WE GO…….!!

        Much admiration for that 25 number….


    1. Well you just never know. My advice is to listen to your heart and never your head. I can talk myself out of anything and have learned not to listen to that logical little monster in my head! At least with matters of the heart…. 🙂 How was that date???/


      1. Lol – it is being rescheduled – she had a good reason and we have talked since then. I am glad she is still communicating. That’s good sign.


    1. Thanks August! There are two binders full! He proofs all of my posts and is so incredibly encouraging. You will meet him soon!


  2. My list would be similar. I’d add one secret: willingness to let the other be alone. That’s one of the biggies in my marriage and, curiously, is what keeps us more together! 🙂


    1. Definitely! It didn’t even occur to me since the few weeks that Danny retired 12 years ago, drove me nuts. I need to have some alone time!
      Thanks Val!


  3. Reblogged this on Wise Counsel and commented:
    Ten Practical Secrets To A Successful Marriage from one that has lasted twenty-five years!

    Marriage is a beautiful thing when the right man and the right woman find each other.
    I always feel that anybody can love anybody, but not anybody should marry anybody.
    Marriage is an agreement; parteners must be able to get along with each other.
    Working together is not necessatily based on relevance (what you can do for each other), but resonance (respond to each other).
    Do you really connect? Especially mentally.
    Do you really connect, when you communicate?
    Do you feel the vibes in the other person’s flow?
    Are you willing to align?
    Agreement requires a willing submission sometimes.
    Working together or effective collaboration requires some creativity and consistency.
    There are some secrets to these and I think that learning from those that have been into marriage for twenty-five years, is not a bad idea.
    My reblog is from one of such; grab the tips!
    Ten practical secrets to a successful marriage.


  4. Such a beautiful post! My wife and I share some of the same traits you mention Susie, and indeed my wife is my best friend. God bless you two. 😉


  5. I don’t know, I think you’re absolutely right about secret #7.
    I agree it’s the shared sense of humor that is important. My husband and I are nearly identical in that area…both goofy and usually we only get each other’s jokes while everyone else looks at us like we’re nuts.


    1. That is so true and a sign of that amazing bond of friendship! I love the inside jokes that are accumulated over the years too! Neither you nor I could get along with someone without a sense of humor that is for sure!
      Thanks Darla!


  6. Aww, how lovely and CONGRATULATIONS on your anniversary and may you have many, many more.

    I’ve been married to Hugo a little bit longer and Danny sounds as if he’s been broken from the same mould. Like you, I mention Hugo in my blog all the time, bless him. It’s my anniversary on 22nd October! Spooky or what?

    I always wanted three kids and Hugo just said ‘Sure’. He asked me to marry him after two weeks and we married six months later.

    ‘Listen to your heart and not your head’ is so true!


    1. Your courtship sounds so familiar… October is the best! We are the lucky ones CC.
      Congratulations to you both early!
      Thanks so much!


    1. Oh! Thanks so much! It’s funny looking back on how crazy that must have seemed to others after dating for one weekend, but here we are high altitude and all!


  7. Congratulations to you both – what a wonderful, positive post! You both sound like ‘keepers’! I love that you’re doing a week-long celebration; and there is so much wisdom in your Ten Little Secrets. (I wish I’d known about and followed these myself – I’d probably still be married, but not to either of my ‘exes’, lol. Apparently they were also doomed from the start.) Awesome post; I’m so happy for both of you! Love and hugs xoxox


    1. Awww! Thanks Julie and right back atcha! I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I met Danny! If I had married any one of them…..


    1. Thanks Barbara! You are right! I think so many take everything too seriously and hold grudges..That just won’t work in the long haul. No one is perfect so we shouldn’t expect that of others or ourselves!
      Have a fab weekend!


    1. Wow! Thanks so much Angelia! My husband wanted me to add that he gave me a real diamond at the top of the gondola but I assured him that everyone would figure that out! 🙂


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