The Boob Report – Back to Reality, Oops There Goes Gravity

I made it through the double mastectomy in May knowing I would soon be surrounded by beauty in some of my favorite places while eating delicious food.

Mystery photo #4

My husband Danny and I flew to Barcelona and met our daughter who studied abroad. It had been over five weeks since the surgery and I still had some lifting restrictions. Being without cancer for the first time in years, my energy level soared! We hit the ground running and didn’t stop until the cows came home at O’ dark thirty.

Oh, glorious food! I tried to watch my portions since everything was prepared with simple ingredients and lots of butter. Chocolate croissants melted in my mouth, every morning. Restaurants used seasonal fruits and vegetables. I entered food nirvana.

After driving through France, we took the train to England. What a trip.

The timing rocked. The European adventure took my mind off my health and upcoming breast reconstruction surgery on Wednesday, August 28th. Yep. I have one more step in the breast cancer journey. I am lucky. As the poster child for early detection, I don’t have to go through chemo or radiation. My treatment consists of taking a Tamoxifen pill every morning. How hard is that?

Back to reality. When I arrived home, I weighed myself, but wasn’t too surprised. I didn’t gain any weight. We had walked for hours every day while on vacation and burned off the calories from the rich food.

Two days later, I had an appointment with my reconstructive surgeon. We discussed the swapping of the hard expanders behind my pectoral muscles to the silicone implants. This is not the silicone of the 1990’s. It is the same material used in hip and knee replacements.

I was looking forward to this routine procedure, so I can sleep on my side again without pain. It seems nothing in my life is routine.

He examined my breasts and scowled.

NOTE TO SELF: It is never good when a surgeon scowls while examining your body.

He didn’t like how my boobs are spaced apart. “I’ll have to reopen your pockets and move them closer together to give you a little cleavage. (Cleavage?) I will also do a liposuction procedure on your buttocks or flank. (Liposuction? Are you kidding me? What the heck is my flank?) I’ll inject some fat around your breasts to make them look more natural.”



Do I really need cleavage? The only time I ever had cleavage was in a Victoria’s Secret push up bra.


It’s my only chance to have nice bionic boobs. Let the man do his job. I’ll never need a bra again. They will defy gravity.

I knew he would be reopening up my horizontal scar across each breast, but reopening the pocket inside was something else again. And liposuction??? I thought about my self-control when eating in France.

After he left, I asked the nurse. “Is opening me up again to move the pocket a normal part of the procedure?”

“He does it on some patients.”

Then I asked her about tennis. I had been under the impression that at 8 weeks after the double mastectomy, I could participate in any physical activity.

“I wouldn’t play. I was a tennis player too and know how much upper body motion is used. What if you fall?”

I was so bummed, but I knew deep down she was right. I can feel the plastic backing of the nylon-like cups in my chest all the time. They are sewn behind my chest wall and don’t move with my body. The  I can’t afford to tear the sutures. Sometimes the interior incisions still  hurt when I stretch when yawning let alone stretching to hit a ball.

I had a physical therapy appointment the next day. I asked the therapist if moving the pockets closer together under my skin was normal and she said, “No. It’s usually just a simple exchange from the expanders to the silicone.”

Crap! So in a week I will be opened up once again. It is supposed to be a lot less painful since the surgeon will remove the expanders and not my own tissue, but here’s the kicker. The liposuction is going to hurt like hell. I have to wear some sort of girdle for a while to help with healing and blood flow. **groan**

“What if I gain 5 or 10 pounds before the procedure?”

The therapist laughed.

“It won’t help you.”


“Because you wouldn’t be making new fat, you would be enlarging your existing fat cells.”

“Wait. I don’t get it.”

“You are born with all the fat cells you are ever going to have. They expand and contract when you gain or lose weight.”

There wouldn’t be any fat generated in a place where there isn’t fat already.

“But my flat pancake-shaped buns don’t have much fat either, so wouldn’t it help if I gained some weight before the surgery and liposuction?”


I still don’t understand except that most of the weight gain would be temporary. The fat cells would shrink again when I start playing tennis. My breasts would look horrid like those photos on Google of the 90-year-old grandma with fake-out boobs in a bikini on the beach. Yuck.

Before I left, the physical therapist admitted it wouldn’t hurt to gain five pounds. And to think I watched what I ate in France. Dang!


Homemade is just not the same…

I baked like a madwoman. Chocolate cream cheese bundt cake and oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies are within reach. I haven’t walked for more than an hour or heard a cow moo since I’ve been back. There is a week left before surgery and I won’t have any problem gaining the weight. Now I know where the expression, “It’s a piece of cake,” comes from. Packing on the pounds is a piece of cake. Too bad it’s not a chocolate croissant…

Related Articles:

Other Boob Reports

Flank Graphic by Wikipedia

117 thoughts on “The Boob Report – Back to Reality, Oops There Goes Gravity

Add yours

  1. Wow, Susie, you never fail to deliver on the wild ride! So sorry to hear about the setback, but happy that you are dealing with competent pros who want to get this right. You will come through this just fine…hang in there, hunny! 😀


    1. Thanks so much Kathy! I’ll be fine. I get one chance so “the moving of the pockets” will probably happen. The fat injections, I still am up in the air about at the end of the day. I will talk to the experts tomorrow.
      Thanks so much for stopping by!


  2. Hi Susie! Stopping by while on vacation even though I am limiting my screen time! You keep eating all the cookies and cakes you want, girl! Did you ask the doctor if your blogging friends with plenty of fat in their flanks (me included) could donate some of our fat??? People donate blood and platelets all the time, why not fat?? And, remind me not to ever buy flank steaks again. Sorry that you have to have crappy stuff done to you again! x0x0x0


    1. You are the coolest! Happy VACA!
      I will never look at a flank steak the same way again! Hahaha! I will opt for the healthiest alternative, so we’ll see. I really don’t want to take any unnecessary risks, I have an appointment tomorrow….Have a blast for me!
      Thank you!


  3. Oh, Dear. Seems like if it’s not one thing, it’s surely another. I’d let you have some of my fat but I’m not sure how that would ship in the mail. I’d have to freeze dry it, I guess.

    Try to enjoy the experience as much as you can. No pain, no gain they say. I know it’s yucky now, but when it’s all over, you’ll be the best looking Susie Lindau the world has to offer even if she never plays tennis again.

    Hang in there.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt


  4. You will look great with your new cleavage – ill be jealous! Haha! Hang in there, the next surgery will go great and don’t worry about the girdle. I’ve been wearing one for the last two weeks after my surgery and its really not that big of a deal. You’ll be out of it before you know it. In the meantime, enjoy the goodies 🍪 thinking of you!


    1. Thanks Beth!
      I am not sold on the fat transfer. I just read the risks and its a pretty long. At this point I will look forward to having it all over with. Bring on the cleavage, but the lipo? Maybe not.
      I hope your surgery went well!
      Thanks for the encouragement!


    1. Hahaha! I don’t think they will be touching my flank. I had an appointment today and I am not that comfortable with that part of the surgery….
      I am looking forward to wild adventures over late autumn and winter!
      Thanks so much Z!


  5. I’ll keep sending good thoughts your way. My mother is a breast cancer survivor thanks to early detection. She was diagnosed back in 2007 and now just turned 60yrs old two days ago. Good luck with everything!


  6. Oh my goodness Susie, you really packed it all in today! First, let me tell you that Hubby and I took the Chunnel train too, only it was from London to Paris just after it opened. But it was so much fun. And don’t they make the best pastries in France? Yes, chocolate croissants everyday! And the walking. That’s all you do. So no you wouldn’t gain any weight. I cannot believe your surgery girl. I do know somewhat of which you speak of. Hubby can feel the steel rods and screws in his back all day long because as you say, it doesn’t move with you. It drives him freaking nuts. We’re hoping it lessens because if it doesn’t, it means more surgery to take it out. And he’s still growing bone. Apparently, it’s very painful to grow bone, Who knew? Anyway…Perky boobs, aka “cleavage.” What is that? lol. I’ve heard of it, but Susie, really, I think you should flaunt it girlfriend! Playboy, here she comes! Just know that I am virtually holding you hand Susie. My heart is with you. And remember, you are #SusieStrong! {{Hugs!}} 🙂


    1. Thanks so much Karen. You have been through so much this last year too. I hope your husband’s condition improves. Chronic pain can wear on everyone. I don’t have that. I can feel them, but they are plastic cups and not metal rods. I can’t even imagine!
      I am so Jonesing for one of those croissants. I would really put on the weight now that I am only walking 45 minutes a day instead of from morning til the wee hours of the next morning!
      Thanks so much for the support! It will be an outpatient surgery and it sounds so much less severe than the first. I’ll motor through!!!!


  7. Dude I had no idea we couldn’t get more fat cells, I could swear my fat cells are increasing by the minute especially on days when I’m all about chocolate Bundt cake. Susie … I know that you are a badass and you will definitely get through this next step and charge life like the Wild Rider you are … it may take a while to get your Sporty Spice back on, but rest up you’ll get there. 🙂 I’m sending you positive vibes and good thoughts.


    1. Thanks Guat! I will get it on eventually.
      This last step will be another long 8 week process, but will be nothing like the first surgery. I heard today that some women just use Motrin after the surgery! Wow! The other great news is I won’t be limited in my range of motion and since I am always flailing my arms around, that is very good news!
      Us badasses have to stick together you know!


    1. Thanks Kitt!
      I just got back from preop and this procedure should not be anything like the first. I am looking forward to the soft implants and having all of this behind me!!!!


  8. Aw, crap. I’m sorry this surgery isn’t going to be the relative walk in the (Hyde) park you were hoping for. I’d be glad to loan you some of my flank fat – I’ve got plenty to spare.

    I don’t think you’ll regret having the surgery done just right – you only have this one body and, since you work so hard to take good care of it, your medical mechanics should do so, too.


    1. I just got back from preop and have made some final decisions. I am looking forward to getting this our of the way. I just want to be healthy, not the next model for Playboy! 🙂
      I think he’ll do a great job!


  9. I absolutely love your humor and positive outlook on life. Hey, maybe you won’t ever have to wear a bra again!!!! Now that is worth all you are going through, right??? Good luck in your next procedure. God will be with you all the way, holding your hand


    1. Thanks so much for stopping by Terry! It is the last step in the process as far as I’m concerned.
      Defying gravity is the big bionic bonus! I am looking forward to it! My doctor keeps reminding me of my nipple surgery, but I am rocking the nippless Barbie boobs. I love not having to worry about revealing anything!!!
      Thanks so much for the support and kind words!


    1. I’ll be bouncing alright! That is one thing I am very much looking forward to. The new girls will be more natural. The ones I have now are hard as rock and are like high beams!!!
      Thanks so much for the boob support!


  10. The best to you, Susie, from a stranger. But utterly sincere! I will look forward to a post that says how wonderful you feel and look and how glad you are that you had this done. And that it’s over!



    1. Thanks so much Paula! I am looking forward to the 28th! These hard plastic girls are tooo tight! It will feel great to be done with the process although my doctor would like me to come back in for nipples. I am pretty happy with my Barbie boobs! I don’t have to wear a bra, so if I got them, I would have to cover them up!
      I will send out an update afterward. It should be a breeze after last time!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: