The Boob Report – Tits for Tats

I’ve never been a tattoo girl. My uncles and grandfather had their arms tattooed while serving in the military. From a distance some give the appearance of a horrible wound. On closer inspection, the bloody scar transforms into a huge red rose, an eagle or a cobra. I warned my children not to get them since they’re difficult to remove and they’d look like members of a motorcycle gang.

When I received the call to come back for testing after a routine mammogram, I knew I was in for a Wild Ride. I’ve always faced adversity with a plan. That first day, I came up with the idea of writing the Boob Report. I would never post, “Poor me. I have cancer,” stories. That’s not how I felt and I didn’t want to ruin my humor brand just because I had some major crap to go through.

My mind raced into the future. “What if I lose my hair?” A few years ago, an older woman going through chemo rocked the wildest floral swim cap while shopping in the grocery store. I complimented her unique chapeau. I would have to be different.

“Boom!” Sound of thought explosion.  I would get a tattoo on the back of my bald head that read, Wild Rider!

Looking for inner strength as I started my ordeal, I wanted to be badass. I wanted to be that girl who wore leather and kicked cancer’s sorry butt.

Lucky for me the results came in at stage 1. No chemo. No radiation. Whew!

Later when I mentioned my plan to my oncologist, he said, “I would never have allowed you to get a tattoo during chemotherapy.”

I would’ve resorted to henna.

Now that it’s all behind me and I’m fully bionic after my double mastectomy, I’ve toyed with the tattoo idea. At this point, I won’t opt for anything that could cause infection. Maybe someday, I’ll be in the grocery store and someone will say, “Nice tat!”

Wild Rider tattoo

Would you ever consider getting a tattoo?

Daily Prompt: Tattoo…You?

The Boob Report

180 thoughts on “The Boob Report – Tits for Tats

    • How cool are you????
      One time when I was in college my friends and I walked from party to party with our own black light. We plugged it in and everyone danced! A tattoo would have added a new dimension.
      Thanks Ensis!

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    • I asked about that when my reconstructive surgeon offered to do nipple tattoos. He said there is a huge difference between surgical grade and the parlor ink.
      I am definitely waiting and wouldn’t do anything that would pose a health risk.
      Thanks!

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  1. In college my girlfriends and I were all going to get tattoos, but we chickened out and got belly button rings instead. But when I did have plans to get one, it was going to be of Mickey Mouse.🙂

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  2. I have an overall tattoo of sorts — it’s called a tan. I can let it fade if I ever want to, but since tats are so permanent I’ve never wanted one. Same with hair — I let the stylist do whatever he or she wants with my hair as it simply grows back (thankfully — a lot of men my age are permanently bald).

    Susie, your writing is incredible, and the title of this one is the perfect pun. I think you deserve more that a simple tattoo–maybe one that flashes with brilliant LEDs or something.

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    • Awwww!!! Thanks so much Chaz! You made my day!
      It was a Daily Prompt that hit home for me.
      I remember some high school girls used tape to spell out the names of their boyfriends on their backs. It was a bummer when they broke up! It took a while to get rid of that natural tattoo!

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  3. If you really want one do it and don’t listen to anybody else. It’s your body to do with as you please. My gal has a beautiful tattoo on her leg which I think is sexy. Pay no attention to the fraidy cats who say “but it’s there forever” , “it’s painful to remove”, and “what will it look like when you get old”. Tattoos have meaning, and some are amazing artwork. Make an appointment with a highly rated and skilled tattoo artist to discuss options and see if it’s for you.

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    • I’m still a ways off from making an appointment. I want to hit my one year mark first, but I would have gone for it if all the stars had aligned differently. Thank god they didn’t!!!!!
      Thanks Phil!

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  4. Pingback: After Your Double Mastectomy | So, I Read This Book Today . . .

  5. I see a tat in your future. Maybe you’ll ride from the tattoo parlor to your Polar Bear plunge, you wild woman. I did a henna tat in New Orleans. The hurricanes we were drinking lasted longer than the tat….but for twenty bucks, no worries.

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  6. I love your idea! Though I shudder at the actual process. As we like to say around our house in Franglais: Skippay vous. (Skip that, dear.) I love how you share what you went through, and go through, that your positive approach is a choice, is deliberate. It’s not like it’s any easier for you just because you’re funny and upbeat. We can all make that same choice, in how we approach the major stuff that happens in life.

    You have snow flakes falling on your blog. I’m in awe.

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  7. The word “consider” is an important choice. Would I “consider” getting a tattoo? Yes. Will I get one? No. Don’t want something permanent on me that can also cause skin cancer and will not look good at 70.
    Scott

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  8. Yes. I have two small tattoos, an ugly and old one (a spider) and a new one that’s the word CHOOSE. I will probably get more, but I am very slow and consider it a really long time before I put a permanent mark on myself. I waited 18 years between the first two, but I doubt I wait that long again, haha.

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    • Thanks Renee! We all have something like that at some point!
      I’m not sure I want to do anything that could pose a health issue, but if I could get a surgical grade tattoo, I may consider one.🙂

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  9. Glad I saw your comment at August’s blog. Trying to get back into any sort of schedule after the unexpected demise of a less than two year old hard drive a couple of months ago (in the middle of two major deadlines) has been a pain.

    Anyway…glad you’re doing so well now!

    And nope. I wouldn’t get a tattoo. I’m the girl who only wants white or off-white walls in my house…with all added color from furniture, window dressings, paintings, and knick knacks. If I chose dark paints or wallpaper, when I wanted to change…it would be a lot more work, so I keep the background neutral and change the easy stuff.

    I look at my body the same way. The skin is the background for all the ‘decoration.’ 🙂

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    • Thanks so much Kristy! Now that I’m nearing the end of the year, I’ve been looking back and it freaks me out that I went through all of this. Whew! Glad to hear your computer problems are resolved. They can be a real headache.
      That is a great analogy! I am not feeling as “badass” as I was before, so I’m not sure I’ll get one. We’ll see!
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Hi Susie-
    I’m new to blogging, but have found some of the best and bad-assiest (is that a word?) to follow and be inspired by. You are now one of them! I dig your blog!
    Besides the fact that I am partial to funny, wild women bloggers, I am also helping my oldest and dearest best friend deal with her breast cancer. It is indeed a wild ride. I took a week off after her mastectomy in October to stay with her and care for her, because she lives alone. I will be with her in some of the weeks to come, for her chemo. We live 5 hours away from each other, but sometimes, the miles don’t matter.

    Unfortunately, her circumstances were not what we had originally thought – they found a lump in the lump – but she is a fierce, strong, amazing woman. My family joins hers for the Christmas, and I will introduce her to your blog. She’s not on WP, but you can expect to see a lot of me around here.

    Oh, as for tattoos – I have a couple, but my bestie? She has 4, all inked on in her 40’s. She always has done everything her own way.

    Thanks for your inspiration,
    Samara

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    • Thanks so much Samara! I will send positive vibes to your friend. It is a bummer, but it’s not as fatal as it used to be.
      You a such a great friend! That is a huge help and I’m sure she appreciates it.
      I really look at tattoos as art now and will consider one sometime in the future.
      I will look forward to seeing you here! Thanks so much and Happy Holidays!

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  11. I would never get a tattoo, but both of our daughters have at least two each. (There may be more, in secret places. I don’t want to know.)

    By the way, I love that picture of you holding the flower pots. It looks like you’re trying hard not to laugh.

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    • It was supposed to be my, “What the Hell?” look.
      That was back when I didn’t know what stage cancer I had and was really angry about the whole thing.
      My friend made a canvas wrap of that photo. I love it!

      I don’t know if I’ll ever get one, but I look at them a lot differently now.

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