The Boob Report – Tits for Tats

I’ve never been a tattoo girl. My uncles and grandfather had their arms tattooed while serving in the military. From a distance some give the appearance of a horrible wound. On closer inspection, the bloody scar transforms into a huge red rose, an eagle or a cobra. I warned my children not to get them since they’re difficult to remove and they’d look like members of a motorcycle gang.

When I received the call to come back for testing after a routine mammogram, I knew I was in for a Wild Ride. I’ve always faced adversity with a plan. That first day, I came up with the idea of writing the Boob Report. I would never post, “Poor me. I have cancer,” stories. That’s not how I felt and I didn’t want to ruin my humor brand just because I had some major crap to go through.

My mind raced into the future. “What if I lose my hair?” A few years ago, an older woman going through chemo rocked the wildest floral swim cap while shopping in the grocery store. I complimented her unique chapeau. I would have to be different.

“Boom!” Sound of thought explosion.  I would get a tattoo on the back of my bald head that read, Wild Rider!

Looking for inner strength as I started my ordeal, I wanted to be badass. I wanted to be that girl who wore leather and kicked cancer’s sorry butt.

Lucky for me the results came in at stage 1. No chemo. No radiation. Whew!

Later when I mentioned my plan to my oncologist, he said, “I would never have allowed you to get a tattoo during chemotherapy.”

I would’ve resorted to henna.

Now that it’s all behind me and I’m fully bionic after my double mastectomy, I’ve toyed with the tattoo idea. At this point, I won’t opt for anything that could cause infection. Maybe someday, I’ll be in the grocery store and someone will say, “Nice tat!”

Would you ever consider getting a tattoo?

Daily Prompt: Tattoo…You?

The Boob Report