Every year, I try to beat my numbers from the last. I thought 2014 blew past 2013 and I’d say, “So long sucker!” while smirking at it in the rear view mirror. More followers + more blog posts = more views. That’s logical, right? Pshh!
Here’s what WordPress sent me this year.
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 49,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 18 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
I checked out my 2013 report and guess what? My blog was visited 49,000 times that year too! That’s the exact same stinkin’ performance at the Sydney Opera House two years running. I came up short. GAH!
What do I have to do to hit 50,000?
WordPress figured I would be bummed. Those crazy monkeys suggested I write new posts about the topics which scored huge views.
I scrambled through my stats. What was most popular in 2014? Boobs! Of course! NOTE TO SELF: Write more posts about boobs. Everybody loves boobs. I love boobs and I don’t even have boobs. I have silicone replacement bionic boobs. Yep. I’ll write a few more blog posts about boobs. That should put me over the 50,000 goal line in 2015!
Wait! My most popular post ever was written back in the day when we got views every time someone liked, commented, or sneezed on our blog. In 2012, What’s In Your Future got an amazing 16,000 views.
I had a EUREKA moment. If I combine them, I bet I’ll double those views! I know! I’ll write how Boobs are in your future. Some of my male readers a and a few female readers might like that. No… Or make predictions about your boobs, like, “Your boobs will rock in plunging necklines this spring.” No. I’m not a fashion blogger and I have a lot of readers who are men. Or I could write about, “The future of boob jobs and what it means for women.” No… That’s too heavy for this Wild Rider. I’ll leave that to Esquire and Cosmopolitan Magazines.
On second thought, I better keep them separate. A nipple post has been simmering in the back of my mind right next to the one about about horoscopes. I think both are in my future. Maybe one of them will catch a few views in 2015…
Are you a stats person or could you care less?