Your Face Yoga Is Killing Me!

Susie Lindau self-portraitLast year, I noticed my thighs had shrunk and wrinkled and my upper eyelids had begun to droop. WTH? I suspected it was from aging.

When I learned swelling causes muscle atrophy, I hit the gym hard. It’s been over three months since knee surgery. My quads have grown and my thighs are smooth. Woohoo!

This made me think my upper lids could be a result of weak and lazy muscles. Back in school my friends teased me every time someone called my name. I would raise my eyebrows and give the person a bug-eyed look. I have big eyes to begin with. The days of overreacting to people are over. I work in my home office during the week and my face remains flaccid except when talking to my dog, Roxy, or laughing a funny blog post. Huh. I wonder if that’s why I’m exhausted after a night out.

My face is out of shape!

Ferrigno_as_Hulk

The Hulk could bench press 220 with his brows.

I knew I could find some reliable video tutorials on YouTube. After a brief search, I stared at my iPad while pressing down on my forehead and lifting my brow. Yep. Push ups for eyebrows. The face yoga instructor suggested performing these exercises 20 times, 2-3 sets a day, but I only exercised while watching Yoga Girl. I planned to hit it hard the next day and went to bed super stoked. I looked forward to some instant results and gratification.

Instead, I woke up to a pain in my left eyebrow. I couldn’t believe I pulled a wimpy muscle in my face. The left side must have been weaker than the right. At first I thought, “No pain, no gain,” but when I sat down in the kitchen to read my friends’ blogs, it really hurt. I pressed my finger on my brow because I always check my bruises to see how much they hurt, don’t you?  The muscle on the inner part of my eye felt super tender too. GAH!

The last time I tried face yoga, I strained a muscle from my jaw line to my clavicle. I could not move my head without pain for a week!

A dilemma arose. Do I continue to work through the pain like I did with my legs or accept my flabby face fate?

I am a Wild Rider and won’t ever give up without a fight. I rested my face and then adjusted the exercise to my low fitness level. Then, I channeled expressive guys like Groucho Marx and John Belushi to turn on those slacking muscles.

Hey. It worked for my thighs. As long as I don’t build too much muscle in my face. I wouldn’t want my bug-eyed look to stick.

Groucho_Marx_Koko_the_Mikado_Bell_Telephone_Hour_1960

Have you ever tried face yoga? Have you ever pulled a muscle in your face? Do you think I am completely ridiculous or insane or both?

71 thoughts on “Your Face Yoga Is Killing Me!

  1. I don’t think you’re ridiculous at all! I’ve noticed some weird sagging below my brows, and resorted to a miracle lift cream I found at Avon. After months of applying it daily, there’s no change. Sigh…I think it’s time for face yoga! Does it help sagging skin?? Should I resort to surgery?? 😉

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    • I really don’t want to do surgery. I’ve had too much of it in the last few years. Watching my skin transform after working out has been shocking! I didn’t wear shorts last summer. Although one is still smaller than the other the wrinkles are gone on both. I’ll be rocking shorts this year!
      I am doing random facial exercises during the day. What have I got to lose???? Muscle is muscle…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love yoga and Tai Chi…and no, I have yet to try face yoga, but now I’m going to look it up.
    Thanks, Susie, for the giggle…if I pull a face muscle, it’s on you lol 😉

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  3. Face yoga? *raises eyebrows, squints and pucker lips*

    Like that? Whew… I need a towel!

    I think if, okay okay… when, my eyebrows start sagging, I will just start wearing a pair of those over-sized Jackie O sunglasses. No one will ever know.

    *wink*

    Ouch… ouch…. eyelid cramp!! Medic!!!

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  4. Uh – no. I have never tried face yoga. Face yoga? I’m pretty sure that’s not for me. Let me know how the low impact version works out for you though.

    The things you learn on the internet.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

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  5. Ohmigosh! I never imagined you could pull a facial muscle. That’s gotta be annoying.I’ve pulled a muscle in my tongue before. No fun, let me tell you. I hope your face is recovering nicely. Now I want to go see an old episode of The Hulk. I want to see him knock a guy out with his eyebrow!

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    • How did you pull a muscle in your tongue???? I bet there’s a good story associated with that!
      I had a boyfriend who said I could do push ups with my (face) cheeks. Now I don’t think I could get 1 mm off the floor with either of them. It’s so very sad. I’ve got to them out. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t quite remember how I did it. I think it involved a secluded beach, a girl I wanted to impress, and a first effort at french kissing. 😉

        Those are some mighty strong cheeks. I guess it’s time to get them back in shape. I gotta go now, time to give my ears their daily workout. 😉

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    • It’s really painful, isn’t it???? Ha! It did happen to me and I’ve been more careful with throwing down facial expressions too. I don’t want to strain a lip or pull a cheek.
      Thanks for stopping by, Matt!

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  6. I’ve never pulled a muscle in my face, but when I was 39, I developed a constant pain in my neck. I ditched my then-partner and voila! The pain went away. As long as no animals are harmed, I am perfectly fine with you doing face yoga to your eyelids content. And good luck with that.

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    • Pains in necks come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve “had” a few too.
      I’ve graduated from PT and went to pilates and then Pure Barre the next day. I can finally walk without pain. Whenever I think about it, I try to do some John Belushi reps and follow up with Jack Black eyebrow lifts…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have been told my face hurts other people, but I have never hurt my face.

    Livestrong has face exercises. Yahoo just reposted one of the Livestrong pieces with exercises to element double chin. One exercise is ‘Kiss the Ceiling’ which involves tilting your head back and puckering your lips at the sky. I think that exercise requires listening to Jimi Hendrix.

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  8. “Build too much muscle in my face” Hilarious thought. Well, muscle is muscle and exercise is exercise. (Although I had to chuckle when Jane Fonda grimaced as she got older and said she felt bad saying all those negative things when she was young about how older women were just lazy and if they wanted they could keep their figures forever if they would only exercise – and buy her videos…difficult to admit, there will be changes no matter what…but we can still say UGH and wish…what do you have to lose?)
    Go wild, Susie.

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    • That’s my feeling exactly. Jane looks pretty dang good these days. Last time I saw her interviewed, she admitted to having a much younger boyfriend. Now there’s some incentive!!!!
      Every body is different. Mine will build muscle if I exercise it.. I’m not using my face the way I used to, so now I make faces at my computer and use those slacker muscles! We’ll see if it makes a difference. Ha!

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  9. Susie – many years ago, I woke up and my face didn’t work – I was 25 and half my face was FROZEN. One side smiled, the other didn’t. I freaked and went to the doctor who diagnosed me with Bell’s Palsy. I gave me an anti-inflammatory and told me to do smile ups. After several weeks, my face returned to normal. I haven’t had a flare up since, but the smile regimen worked, My students tell me I smile all the time, even when I am NOT happy. It worked, so I keep smiling. Keep making it happen, one smile at a time. Enjoy your week.

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    • That is such a great story! I’m glad you never got it again. I’ve been traveling back to Wisconsin a lot and I’m on the plane right now. My face has been getting quite the workout. Keep on smiling

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  10. Duuuuuude that was too funny. Pulling a muscle doing face yoga! I had never heard of that, until I read your post! Wow. But I suppose if my eyeballs did push-ups they’d be sore too. I might have to look this up to see what is going in Wild Rider. Hope you’re recovering 🙂

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  11. hahahah I recently started body yoga, but I think im going to leave face yoga for a while yet. Although reading your post I was wiggling my brows up and down, much to the hilarity of my workmate across the desk….

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  12. SUSIE, Just found your blog. I laughed. And laughed. Then, I pulled a muscle in my cheek from all the laughing. So I can say, from experience now, that you are not insane. You da man, woman.

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  13. After reading this post Susie, I immediately rushed out to buy “Face Yoga for Dummies” as a way to bypass paying for a face lift. Sorry to say all that got lifted was my hard earned $19.95 + tax, which cut into my desperate recycling money, earned from drinking so many beers because of face wrinkles in the first place! Face Yoga? I guess it’s not for me. :O)

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