Your Face Yoga Is Killing Me!

Susie Lindau self-portraitLast year, I noticed my thighs had shrunk and wrinkled and my upper eyelids had begun to droop. WTH? I suspected it was from aging.

When I learned swelling causes muscle atrophy, I hit the gym hard. It’s been over three months since knee surgery. My quads have grown and my thighs are smooth. Woohoo!

This made me think my upper lids could be a result of weak and lazy muscles. Back in school my friends teased me every time someone called my name. I would raise my eyebrows and give the person a bug-eyed look. I have big eyes to begin with. The days of overreacting to people are over. I work in my home office during the week and my face remains flaccid except when talking to my dog, Roxy, or laughing a funny blog post. Huh. I wonder if that’s why I’m exhausted after a night out.

My face is out of shape!

Ferrigno_as_Hulk
The Hulk could bench press 220 with his brows.

I knew I could find some reliable video tutorials on YouTube. After a brief search, I stared at my iPad while pressing down on my forehead and lifting my brow. Yep. Push ups for eyebrows. The face yoga instructor suggested performing these exercises 20 times, 2-3 sets a day, but I only exercised while watching Yoga Girl. I planned to hit it hard the next day and went to bed super stoked. I looked forward to some instant results and gratification.

Instead, I woke up to a pain in my left eyebrow. I couldn’t believe I pulled a wimpy muscle in my face. The left side must have been weaker than the right. At first I thought, “No pain, no gain,” but when I sat down in the kitchen to read my friends’ blogs, it really hurt. I pressed my finger on my brow because I always check my bruises to see how much they hurt, don’t you?  The muscle on the inner part of my eye felt super tender too. GAH!

The last time I tried face yoga, I strained a muscle from my jaw line to my clavicle. I could not move my head without pain for a week!

A dilemma arose. Do I continue to work through the pain like I did with my legs or accept my flabby face fate?

I am a Wild Rider and won’t ever give up without a fight. I rested my face and then adjusted the exercise to my low fitness level. Then, I channeled expressive guys like Groucho Marx and John Belushi to turn on those slacking muscles.

Hey. It worked for my thighs. As long as I don’t build too much muscle in my face. I wouldn’t want my bug-eyed look to stick.

Groucho_Marx_Koko_the_Mikado_Bell_Telephone_Hour_1960

Have you ever tried face yoga? Have you ever pulled a muscle in your face? Do you think I am completely ridiculous or insane or both?

71 thoughts on “Your Face Yoga Is Killing Me!

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  1. Susie – many years ago, I woke up and my face didn’t work – I was 25 and half my face was FROZEN. One side smiled, the other didn’t. I freaked and went to the doctor who diagnosed me with Bell’s Palsy. I gave me an anti-inflammatory and told me to do smile ups. After several weeks, my face returned to normal. I haven’t had a flare up since, but the smile regimen worked, My students tell me I smile all the time, even when I am NOT happy. It worked, so I keep smiling. Keep making it happen, one smile at a time. Enjoy your week.

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    1. That is such a great story! I’m glad you never got it again. I’ve been traveling back to Wisconsin a lot and I’m on the plane right now. My face has been getting quite the workout. Keep on smiling

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  2. Duuuuuude that was too funny. Pulling a muscle doing face yoga! I had never heard of that, until I read your post! Wow. But I suppose if my eyeballs did push-ups they’d be sore too. I might have to look this up to see what is going in Wild Rider. Hope you’re recovering 🙂

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    1. Hahaha! This is a true story! I’ve been hitting the gym so ALL of my muscles are sore. Tonight I tried a Pilates reformer class. I think my eyeballs are the only part of my body that slacked off . 🙂

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  3. hahahah I recently started body yoga, but I think im going to leave face yoga for a while yet. Although reading your post I was wiggling my brows up and down, much to the hilarity of my workmate across the desk….

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  4. SUSIE, Just found your blog. I laughed. And laughed. Then, I pulled a muscle in my cheek from all the laughing. So I can say, from experience now, that you are not insane. You da man, woman.

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  5. After reading this post Susie, I immediately rushed out to buy “Face Yoga for Dummies” as a way to bypass paying for a face lift. Sorry to say all that got lifted was my hard earned $19.95 + tax, which cut into my desperate recycling money, earned from drinking so many beers because of face wrinkles in the first place! Face Yoga? I guess it’s not for me. :O)

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