Your Face Yoga Is Killing Me!

Last year, I noticed my thighs had shrunk and wrinkled and my upper eyelids had begun to droop. WTH? I suspected it was from aging.

When I learned swelling causes muscle atrophy, I hit the gym hard. It’s been over three months since knee surgery. My quads have grown and my thighs are smooth. Woohoo!

This made me think my upper lids could be a result of weak and lazy muscles. Back in school my friends teased me every time someone called my name. I would raise my eyebrows and give the person a bug-eyed look. I have big eyes to begin with. The days of overreacting to people are over. I work in my home office during the week and my face remains flaccid except when talking to my dog, Roxy, or laughing a funny blog post. Huh. I wonder if that’s why I’m exhausted after a night out.

My face is out of shape!

I knew I could find some reliable video tutorials on YouTube. After a brief search, I stared at my iPad while pressing down on my forehead and lifting my brow. Yep. Push ups for eyebrows. The face yoga instructor suggested performing these exercises 20 times, 2-3 sets a day, but I only exercised while watching Yoga Girl. I planned to hit it hard the next day and went to bed super stoked. I looked forward to some instant results and gratification.

Instead, I woke up to a pain in my left eyebrow. I couldn’t believe I pulled a wimpy muscle in my face. The left side must have been weaker than the right. At first I thought, “No pain, no gain,” but when I sat down in the kitchen to read my friends’ blogs, it really hurt. I pressed my finger on my brow because I always check my bruises to see how much they hurt, don’t you?  The muscle on the inner part of my eye felt super tender too. GAH!

The last time I tried face yoga, I strained a muscle from my jaw line to my clavicle. I could not move my head without pain for a week!

A dilemma arose. Do I continue to work through the pain like I did with my legs or accept my flabby face fate?

I am a Wild Rider and won’t ever give up without a fight. I rested my face and then adjusted the exercise to my low fitness level. Then, I channeled expressive guys like Groucho Marx and John Belushi to turn on those slacking muscles.

Hey. It worked for my thighs. As long as I don’t build too much muscle in my face. I wouldn’t want my bug-eyed look to stick.

Have you ever tried face yoga? Have you ever pulled a muscle in your face? Do you think I am completely ridiculous or insane or both?