When Signs Attempt Murder

Signs are all around us. Most of the time, they don’t kill you. If they are figurative, they warn of something horrid or wonderful in your future. But signs are meaningless if you are not around to see how life turns out. Why would the universe bother sending you one if it kills you?

Splat.

double black diamond sign

Wind can be a literal sign of a change in the weather. Remember Dorothy and the tornado? She ignored a sign of epic proportions. After her wild dream, she probably became an agoraphobic.

Last Thursday the wind blew all day. It howled down the mountains and roared along the Front Range. It assaulted my car while I drove to downtown Denver.

My husband, Danny, and I parked under Writers Square and emerged from the elevator at the same time as my daughter, who worked six floors up. We planned to stop around the corner at Overland Sheepskin to see my sister, Patty, before going to dinner.

We had to walk outside the building to reenter Overland.

Thunderous waves of wind blasted between buildings. It tore at our clothes. It’s a little know fact that Colorado’s wind speeds can hit way above hurricane force.

I had been released into the wild after six weeks of mending a broken wrist. Still unused to not wearing an air cast, my arm hung limp at my side.

a sign from the universe

Do you see the size of the chairs in comparison? Yep. It was a pretty big sign.

We rounded a corner and passed a crepe restaurant. Although the wind carried warm air from the south, no one sat outside. No surprise there. I would imagine the windows would become decorated in a fine assortment of the egg concoction.

 

We passed the entry to their outdoor patio.

CLANG!

Their shoulder height, free-standing sign displaying their menu blew over on its face right in front of me.

I caught my breath as one of the servers dashed outside to pick it up. He must have heard the crash.

Two more steps and I would have been flattened. It would have smashed my left arm and hip. The concrete could have knocked me out. Not knowing what hit me, I could have been killed.

ikea sign and craneLater, we learned the highway and light rail had been closed. Authorities feared the enormous IKEA sign would blow off the building. It could have killed dozens. Now do you believe me about the wind?

Was the crash of the crepe sign a sign?

Of course it was literally a sign, but was the Universe trying to send me a figurative sign by almost killing me with a sign?

While we ate dinner, I wondered…

What was the Universe trying to tell me?

1. Wear body armor.

2. You are very lucky. Play the lottery.

3. No one messes with Mother Nature, not even you.

4. Buy stock in wind power.

5. Don’t ever walk by a crepe shop when it’s windy without two bodyguards.

6. You are a force to be reckoned with.

7. Stay home the rest of your life, like Dorothy.

8. Life has the power to blow your mind or blow you away.

9. Timing is everything.

10. Signs can kill. Eat more crepes.

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind. I couldn’t resist a little existentialism from my buddy, Bob.

What do you think?

53 thoughts on “When Signs Attempt Murder

  1. Yikes, Susie! The chinooks in Colorado are amazing, but most of the time we have a place inside to go to, unlike when hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. We’ve been nearly blown off mountains many times, like in the middle of the night when my sleeping bag rolled over and over (with me inside it) off Mount Washington. We packed up and hiked down at 2 a.m. just to get out of the wind!

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    • Oh, my God! That is super scary. You would have stake your sleeping bag or tie yourself to a rock! Can you imagine how lame it would have been if I had been injured by that restaurant menu sign? GAH! I’m so happy I escaped that one.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it was a ploy by the crepe restaurant to scare you into going inside and dining at their place. I always found it interesting when I lived on the Oregon Coast that we could get hurricane force winds, flooding rivers, huge evergreen trees uprooting and crushing houses and cars and blocking highways, landslides from the rain-drenched soil… but it was merely called a “winter storm.” Maybe you could write a sequel: “Dorothy Moves out West.”

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    • I bet you are right! I’ll have to eat a crepe next time. I don’t want that to happen ever again! 🙂
      Isn’t that weird about how blasé they are about the weather in our states? Coming from Wisconsin, it is WILD!
      And Dorothy locks her doors and windows and is never seen again. The End. Ha!
      Thanks for stopping by, Maggie!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wind is a scary thing. I know my dogs freak out when it’s windy. I often wonder how the animals and birds fare out in the woods on those days. Where can they hide with branches flying through the trees like missiles. And in town we have our own missiles (signs) and window panes crashing down. Very scary!

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  4. Having lived in Boulder for 10 years, I can attest to that wicked wind that blows there. It was one of the few things I hated about the area. I’m glad that restaurant sign was a sign you missed tripping over. Be careful out there, Susie.

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    • I’m just glad it didn’t fall on me!
      The wind pulses like waves on the shore, but it makes me nervous. I can’t imagine living in Wyoming. It’s worse there!
      Thanks, Mary! Great to “see” you.

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    • It really shook me up.
      That’s a great plan. I want to live a Wild Life, with no more near death experiences. 🙂 Fingers crossed and running to knock on wood or my pointed head, whichever is closer…
      Thanks, Ally!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Maybe it was ‘Just a reminder that you are going to sign out some time – but not today!’
    Pity we haven’t figured out how to collect and store that sort of power long-term. It would be goodbye to fossil fuels. Wind farms are not the answer while they moider boidies.

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    • I LOVE it! Sign out… Ha! I was trying to think of all the cliches.
      The wind is insane here. It is so like water and should be harnessed some other way. I agree!
      No moidering today at least.
      Thanks Colonist. Great to “see” you!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think you dodged a bullet, or actually, a sign, Susie. I’ve had a few odd, close calls myself through the years. Unlike you, I didn’t wonder if my escaping severe bodily harm was a sign of something. In those situations, I recall thinking every time, “Holy shit, I could have been killed!” And then things went back to being comfortably “meh”. I wish you may more years of comfortably “meh”.

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  7. I like the idea of wearing body armor. After 11 years in the Sierras you think moving to Florida I would have escaped the winds – ha! – how wrong was I in my way of thinking. Nothing more scary than a huge arse palm frond flying at your truck windshield while you are driving 55/60 mph or birds misdirected in their flying with a wind gust (pelicans are BIG). Always an Adventure and pretty much up for an Adventure each and every day! Happy Weekend – Be Safe – Take Care – Enjoy 🙂

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    • Be safe is right on! Ha!
      I think those coconut projectiles would be extremely deadly too. Whoa! A palm frond stuck in your windshield wipers would be more than scary. Yikes!
      Have a wild weekend too! Thanks, Renee!

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  8. THAT IS TERRIFYING!!! I have to start looking above my head from now on for the silent menace lumbering over me! Thanks for the HEADS UP!

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