Wild Conversations Overheard in Malibu and Boulder

Eavesdropping, overheard and entertained in Malibu and Boulder.

I’ve overheard a lot of wild conversations. I’m an eavesdropper by nature. Shh! Don’t tell anyone… It can be very entertaining.

Here are three conversations I’ve overheard. I just had to share:

#1. While visiting Malibu, I walked through a parking a lot filled with sports cars and other gleaming top-of-the-line vehicles. A middle-aged couple walked toward me while holding hands. The man talked in a loud voice for my benefit, I’m sure.

“What was I supposed to say to the guy? Yes, I loved your script, especially the part when they humped in every scene.”

Dogs? Teenagers? Who knows? Gotta love Malibu.

#2. While hiking on a trail north of Malibu, I overheard a wild story. Two young ladies leaned in while another spoke. I tried to keep up with their brisk pace.

“My friend, George, who worked as a waiter, flew in from London for a few days. It was his birthday. We went out to celebrate, but he drank way too much and got wasted really early. When he realized he was making a fool of himself, he went outside to get some fresh air.

He walked out to the alley, sat down next to a dumpster and fell sound asleep. At one point, he woke up because his shoes felt too tight, so he took them off. Then he crashed out again.

We didn’t know where he went, so we stayed at the bar and hoped he would show up before they closed.

When he woke up a little later, a few hookers had gathered around him. He tried to stand up. One of them was concerned and said, ‘Babe, you don’t look so good. Can we help you get home?’

‘My friends are inside,’ he said, so two of the hookers helped him to his feet and brought him back into the bar.

When he stumbled over to us, I noticed he was barefoot and carrying his shoes. I asked him why he wasn’t wearing them.

‘My shoes are too tight.’

We helped him over to a booth and looked at his feet. Then we totally freaked out. While he slept in the alley, someone had driven over them. He never felt a thing.

We took him to the hospital. He had all kinds of broken bones. He had blown his money on the plane ticket and had a huge hospital bill. He flew home on crutches with casts on his feet.”

I couldn’t hear the rest over all the giggles and the oh, my Gods. Poor George. If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear about your recovery.

#3. One weekend in September, I walked out of a Boulder, Target store and overheard a tall CU student. He spoke loudly on his phone.

“I bagged a heifer,” he said with a thick Texas accent. I imagined laughter on the other end of the line. “No, she’s really cute.” The receiver of the call must have argued. “No, no, no. She’s my girlfriend.” He paused and then said, “Isn’t that what they call a female buffalo?”

A misfired joke about dating a young woman who attends CU. Their mascot is a buffalo.

Here are the morals of the three overheard stories:

#1. Sex sells, but oversaturation in any medium can get old and tired and so would the actors. *budumbum*

#2. Binge drinking can get anyone into loads of trouble. Remember the buddy system and steel-toed boots.

#3. Be careful when trying to impress your friends. They might get the idea that you’re misogynistic or need a lesson in Dad jokes. By the way, a female buffalo is a cow. Not much better. 

Have you overheard a conversation worth remembering? 

Related posts:

Random Acts of Chat – Dave Barry, Stephen King, Erma Bombeck and Jesus walk into a bar…

When People Think You’re Crazy – I entertained others with my conversation with me, myself and I, in a grocery store.

Daily Prompt – Chuckle

58 thoughts on “Wild Conversations Overheard in Malibu and Boulder

    • THAT IS BRILLIANT! I was behind the group of girls, so I think that one was legit. I’ll have to be careful to wear sunglasses and keep my head down in the future.
      Thanks for reading, Ray!

      Like

      • You missed it entirely. So let’s try this. Why do you have the need to intrude, stalk and write about it later in condescending tones? As my long departed mama used to say, it’s not your business to make judgements. Sheesh.

        Like

  1. A heifer is actually a female cow before she has a calf. (Says someone who grew up in rural Texas) Calling someone a heifer implies she is headstrong and out for herself.
    He must have been from the big city to not know that he insulted her.

    Like

    • Right? Ha! He really backpedaled with his friend. It was a longer conversation, but that was all I could remember! Once I got to my car, I burst out laughing. Thanks for the info!

      Like

  2. I can’t remember any specific conversation right at this moment, but I do know that on many, many occasions, I find myself rolling my eyes at people (they don’t see me doing it of course), because of silliness they say.

    I can tell you this, we had a guest staying here not too long ago who was talking to some other guests from Missouri. He told them a story of when he first went to Missouri and was trying to find out the correct way to say it (some say Miz surry, other Mis aura). He decided to ask at the next place he stopped which happened to be a McDonalds. He asked the young man behind the counter, “What’s the correct way to pronounce the name of this place anyway?” The young man replied: “Mac Don ulds.”

    Of course everyone at the table laughed. I snickered from the kitchen doorway – where I happened to be eavesdropping. So, there’s my story. The moral: Be specific with your questions.

    Have a great day, Susie!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I don’t remember any actual conversations off the top of my head; but I recall one night at the Chinese restaurant picking up (between trips to the kitchen) on the fact that we probably had a first date going on. I hope it went well! That happened to be my favorite Chinese place, and I’d hate to think they had bad memories of it!

    Like

    • First dates can be so awkward! We went to a cafe for breakfast and brothers with a 5-6 year age difference sat at a table. They wouldn’t look at each other and never said a word. Their parents must have made them go out. Bummer!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think George may become an overnight sensation. Why I’ll bet right now some studio exec has one of their writers already working on the screenplay. A casting director is probably calling Daniel Day-Lewis’s agent about the part, “Yes Daniel. Yes, they want you to play this guy from Britain named, George. One night he gets intoxicated, finds himself lying in an alley next to a dumpster just outside of Malibu, then some bozo pretending to be the President of the United States driving a truck, runs over both of your feet on his way to The White House. What’s that? No, no, no they want you to play it straight, the studio even has a working title called “My Left AND RIGHT Foot!” although I prefer “The Madness of King George” that, of course, being in reference to both your feet being run over and your character being from Britain. Nah, you can’t make this stuff up, it’s based on a true story as told by two women on a hike. Yeah, yeah they even want Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence to co-star. No, I already told you, they don’t want Tom Hanks they want you booby. So whaddya say, is it a yes?” 😀

    Like

  5. We used to play a trick back when we were stupid. One of us would get on an elevator at a hotel with a small tape recorder that resembled a walkie talkie. We wore suits in those days so we could be taken for hotel employees. Of course, everyone on the elevator pretended not to hear the conversation.The person getting on would say, “Yeah I’m just getting on to number five” He would push the recorder play button. “Did you say number five?” “Yes number five,” he would answer.The recorder would say, ” I would get off at the next floor. Number five is the one wth the frayed cord. Oh and don’t tell anyone. We need to keep this quiet.” If there wasn’t a button pushed the person quickly pushed a button. When the doors opened everyone got off. Was hard not to laugh out loud.

    Liked by 1 person

      • No but it could happen I suppose. I have a number of those stories. The folks I worked with were all full of humor and devilish tendencies. We were together for about ten years and usually had to travel in a pack. One year we set as an objective to eat in the Forbes top 25 restaurants in the US. We made it but barely. Had to schedule some last minute trips in December. Our finance officer was always tearing his hair out. We finally took him along and he became part of the posse. (He saw first hand the economic returns of the trips) Maybe there is a story here.

        Like

  6. This is brilliant! I hope you don’t mind me sharing it on flipboard. 🙂

    By the way, some Americans might just speak a little louder than other folks (in London anyway…) Quite a few times recently I have accidentally overheard American conversations on public transport. It might just be that most English people talk quietly on trains/buses, so the American voices really stand out!? So if you come to London, you might still hear USA-related conversations!!

    p.s. Poor George!!

    Like

    • Please share! Thank you, Josy. 🙂 That is most appreciated!
      That’s what I thought. Our voices carry since we usually talk at once and want to be heard. Ha! I think many really don’t care who hear about their private lives. The worst is when I’m in a store and someone speaks really loudly on their phone. I can’t concentrate!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Me too!

        I don’t normally mind because people’s conversations are so interesting. It only annoys me when I am trying to read. I can’t concentrate on a book when there is such a loud voice so close!

        Like

  7. The World of Spy verses Spy is a very broad and advanced technical world indeed. ‘Flips switch on tiny electronic device in pocket. Rendering cell phones useless; no selfie, no call reception, no recording or video capabilities. Keeps flipping switch on and off again’ while watching Spy woman with cell phone go insane and toss her cell phone away’.

    Like

  8. Ha, fun and intriguing stories there Susie! I always want to know more when I overhear these little glimpses into people’s lives. I find public transport is the best place to overhear conversations because you’re sitting near people for quite a while. One from years ago that stayed with me, this was on a train heading out of London – there was a man I guess about 50 years old, very average looking, but dressed smartly in a suit and with him was a young beautiful girl, maybe 20, also dressed in office clothes, but quite sexy office clothes. They were across from me so I could watch them, the guy was looking totally shell-shocked, but in a happy way, and he kept saying things like “I just can’t believe this has happened! Are we really doing this?” and the girl kept putting her arms round him and giving him little kisses and saying things like “Well it has happened, everything’s going to be alright.” I kept looking at them for the whole journey. I imagined that he was the big boss man who had got lucky with the young girl in the office – the impression they gave was certainly not of a couple who had been together for a long time, it all looked very new. I wanted to know if they were running away together or what! But sigh, I never found out more, so I had to just imagine!

    Like

  9. RE: “Have you overheard a conversation worth remembering?
        Once when I was in the future when the Gods will return, I overheard the Emissary thinking about the Gods true purpose for returning: They are having a contest on who can produce the Galaxy’s largest dessert. They intend to freeze the surface of the Earth and unleash liquid chocolate and ice cream stone volcanos. An ellipsoid craft will be bombing with cherries.
        But Tiglekso. I’ve come from the future to prevent that from happening.
        I agree with you that bragging to your friends with the wrong vocabulary can be a problem. It’s an especially bad problem for the Gods who are notorious for being misunderstood. They tend to dislike English as it’s so limited.
       Writing sex scenes can be scenic, but it’s difficult to do if you’re not sure what they’re thinking. Well, I suppose sometimes they’re not consciously thinking in the ego sense, but the brain at other levels is very busy. Sometimes one does not want to overhear those sub-thoughts especially if it involves a cow or buffalo as in the example you gave.

    Like

  10. Reblogged this on The Blog That Would Destroy the World and commented:
    by Susie Lindau
    [COMMENT:
    RE: “Have you overheard a conversation worth remembering?
        Once when I was in the future when the Gods will return, I overheard the Emissary thinking about the Gods true purpose for returning: They are having a contest on who can produce the Galaxy’s largest dessert. They intend to freeze the surface of the Earth and unleash liquid chocolate and ice cream stone volcanos. An ellipsoid craft will be bombing with cherries.
        But Tiglekso. I’ve come from the future to prevent that from happening.
        I agree with you that bragging to your friends with the wrong vocabulary can be a problem. It’s an especially bad problem for the Gods who are notorious for being misunderstood. They tend to dislike English as it’s so limited.
       Writing sex scenes can be scenic, but it’s difficult to do if you’re not sure what they’re thinking. Well, I suppose sometimes they’re not consciously thinking in the ego sense, but the brain at other levels is very busy. Sometimes one does not want to overhear those sub-thoughts especially if it involves a cow or buffalo as in the example you gave.]

    Like

  11. Oh my! I hope poor George is okay. These were so funny. Sometimes, people just tell the craziest stories and have the funniest things to say. I can’t wait to read more posts like these!

    Like

  12. This is when I get really upset with the “short-term memory” problems my stroke brought me. Of course, I have heard some really great discussions. I taught school, was a security guard, and worked in a courthouse!
    Argh!
    Scott

    Like

  13. oh my god, this makes me feel almost…normal 🙂 Made me laugh out loud and I very much needed it today. Just moved back to Boulder…I’m sure I’ll have more to add to the mix very soon!

    Like

Leave a Wild thought. Someone may click to your blog!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s