Fake Summer is Killing Me

Fake summer is killing me

As much as I love summer, its fake relative is killing me this weekend. You know what I’m talking about; the stretch of a couple gorgeous days in spring that beckon us outdoors to engage in summer activities after a long winter of hibernation Yeah, that. It’s supposed to reach 80 degrees today. My body can’t take any more of this insanity or of my high expectations, at least that’s what it tells me.

The first day of fake summer:

On Friday, I take a break from writing and head out to the pond behind our house. I notice a trickle of water running from the fake stream that feeds our water feature which acts as a holding pond for irrigation.

Noticing the thick tangle of dead cattails strangling the creek, I check to see how hard it will be to pull them out from the empty and muddy creek bed. Their roots usually go to China. I pull a reed out by the roots. They rotted over the winter. First. Time. Ever.

Remembering what I learned about squats, I use my knees while making a humongous pile. I don’t want to hurt myself so I quit after an hour’s work.

Later that day:

I took a year off from tennis and hired a personal trainer to strength train and rehab my knee instead. It has stabilized a ton. I lasted entire days while skiing this year.

I focused on becoming fit and strong after muscle atrophy and even meditated with that intention. That was the deal I made with my body. It was time to find out if the hours in the gym (and in my head) had paid off.

With the sun shining overhead, my husband and I headed to the tennis court.

Danny fires a ball over the net and I race after it like a golden retriever.

BODY: What the hell are you doing????

I get to the ball and hit it wide since I’m late in making contact. Every muscle feels strained.

ME: I gotta move my feet. GAH!

He sails another one right up the middle. I return it. Then he sends one wide and short and I bolt for it. I whiff, big time. Shocks of pain streak like lightning from my shoulder.

BODY: For God’s sake, woman. STOP! You may have strengthened our muscles, but making us sprint was not something in our verbal contract.

ME: Ouch! I can’t afford to do that again. I stretch out my shoulder and line up behind the baseline again.

I ignore the yelps from my body and get to the ball this time, returning it down the line.

BODY: Don’t get your hopes up. We can only take this torture for so long.

After a long rally warm-up, my body’s screams dull when endorphins take control.

As we play, the game comes back to me. I’m not as fast as I was, but it feels good to sprint again.

Painless, I quit while my body is still shocked into submission. I walk home wondering if I’ll be able to get out of bed the next day.


Another gorgeous day. I’m surprised when I’m able to walk, although stiff-legged. I look out the window at the listless gardens in desperate need of deadheading. A landscaping crew will do the work, but not for a couple of weeks.

Fake summer strikes again.

By noon, I can’t take it anymore. I head outdoors to pull weeds and cut down tall grasses. Again I remember my squats until a hamstring yelps.

ME: Now what? I’m doing squats like I’m supposed to!

BODY: You’re expecting way too much of us. Muscles need a break not to mention tendons and ligaments. They’ve been complaining for hours now.

ME: I start bending at the waist. A big no-no, but it stops my hamstrings’ complaints. With the unfamiliar feeling of sweat dripping down my back while fake summer’s sunshine warms my heart like Medusa, I continue my purge of winter’s aftermath.

Holding the last of the long wheatlike stalks in my hands, I turn to throw them into the pile. A tree branch pokes me above the eye. Dammit. All I need is another scar. I have a terrible one above my eye from a rabid rose bush.

ME: That’s it. I’m done with fake summer! The leaves haven’t even come out on all the trees. I would have seen that little sucker. I throw my shears on the ground. I clean up the mess and go inside to take a loooooong shower.

Sunday. Fake summer strikes again:

My body is sore from the hair on my head to my toenails. I read the weather app on my phone.

It’s supposed to hit 80 degrees today.

ME: Whoopie ding dong day. I’d rather catch up on my blog and Pinterest.

While scheduling pins, my computer freezes.

I have a heart attack. Did I save my latest edits on my manuscript? I try everything. After thirty agonizing minutes, I finally turn my laptop off.

While praying it turns on again, (my operating system crashed right after buying my MacBook Pro) I remember something about Word not being updated.

What if it didn’t save my files in the cloud? What if all the work I did on Friday is GONE??? I take a deep breath and look skyward.

While nervous perspiration breaks out on my clammy hands, I press the button to restart my computer. I hope the little bar appears underneath the big apple to show it’s loading files……….

It does!

It takes a long time to load everything. Having too much open, including my massive photos app, probably caused the freeze.

I check my Word file to see if the last edit was saved. *gulp*


I shut my laptop and go outside to enjoy the last of fake summer. It’s supposed to drop thirty degrees and rain this week.

Do you enjoy fake summer? Are you a weekend warrior only to feel the pain on Monday morning?

More adventure on the Wild Ride.

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36 thoughts on “Fake Summer is Killing Me

Add yours

  1. I’m afraid of various forms of insects, so I don’t go out that much. A few days recently, I’ve thought about going outside and walking around the house, but the pollen levels have been through the roof, so my butt has been firmly attached to the couch.

    I didn’t even get to the gym this week because I went to the doctor on Monday and discovered two infections for the price of one. GRR!


      1. My finger (which I went in for) got better after a few days. The other (which they tested for on a whim), I didn’t have much in the way of symptoms for, so who knows!


  2. This year with all the health issues and dealing with my late husband’s mother who lives alone and has occurring dementia I have given up. The past year has taken a toll on me. But, we have had no Spring here in Ontario. Today is cold, gray and they are calling for snow flurries. Typing brings me rays of sunshine.. Don’t over do it kiddo!!!! That is an order!! 🙂 Not that you will listen 🙂


  3. Ahhh, we had the same fake summer here, too. For two entire days. After a winter that decided it would eat Spring for breakfast. I kept telling myself I would just ‘sit and relax’ in the sunshine. I did neither. And I am suffering the same fate as you (including a wack to the head with a branch!). Hope your body doesn’t hold it’s grudge on you too long. 🙂


    1. Oh, no, Meg! Those dang branches.
      It was stressing me out to look at all the dead overgrowth and worth the pain and agony. One more day and the rain will roll in…Then it will be time for WEEDING!!!


      1. Same here! I know it’s too early to put flowers out etc. But the dead stuff driving me bonkers! Those damn weeds grow faster than anything! Hope the rain doesn’t last too long for you.


  4. We’ve had fake spring 3 times. It creeps up into the beautiful 70’s for a day or so then – BAM – 46 the next 3 days. 3 times its done that and 3 times I’ve cursed Mother Nature. I HATE cold weather.

    Oh well, I think the worst of it’s gone now. Today we almost reached 80. Perfect porch sitting weather.

    Take care of yourself my friend. I don’t want any more blog posts about freakish accidents.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt


    1. Thanks, Patricia! I’m glad to hear it’s warming up there too. We had the weirdest weather ever with 40 degree dry days all winter. Too warm to snow, too cold to take a bike ride.
      Soon we’ll be complaining about the heat. 🙂
      I’ll wear sunglasses as safety goggles from now on…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You certainly made the most of your fake summer this weekend, Susie. You may want summer to hold off just a little bit so you can ease into it. Seriously, you sound like you’ve rebounded from your injuries very well…now just don’t overdo it. 🙂


    1. Thanks, Debra! I need to do wind sprints! 🙂
      We topped it off by playing seven holes of Par 3. Whew! What a wild weekend, but the yard looks so much better. I just hope it doesn’t snow with all the apple trees about to bloom. *fingers crossed*

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Of course she’ll over do it, for she is Susie, and the woman is known for crossing the finish like upside down and upon fire. 🙂

    Speaking of’ ‘What movie was it where they sprayed the bottoms of the snow disks with Teflon and got them sparking like a Chinese New Year? Was That, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? Or ‘Planes – Trains – and Automobiles? Uncle Buck?


  7. Fake Spring is killing me. I would settle for real Spring never mind Summer. I had a fancy do on Saturday and had planned my limited wardrobe accordingly. I started out looking pretty presentable and comfortable. By the end of the evening I was scrambling for cast off clothing in my car to keep warm. I was the picture of elegance with layers starting from fancy dress and finishing off with workout hoodies. By the time I made it home the snow was on again. 😉


  8. I just want spring thanks. This going from one extreme to the other is unnerving. What do I wear? I’ve got denim jackets and full on winter coats on the go it’s ridiculous!!


  9. I feel you Ostio and Rumor have my life tied up. One days work=4 days down. I never know where it will travel, from my toes to my neck. Last week it was the feet and knees, this week the back and shoulder’s. I am reduced to sitting and that even proves to be painful. I hurt if I move and if I stay in one place. I guess I have nothing to loose, guess I’d better get that mountain of laundry done today, so I can be down for another 4 days. It’s not the weather, our age is just catching up on us. The mind thinks of things I should be doing and the body says hell no, and the body and the mind are in a constant battle.


    1. I would imagine that arthritis would be a huge bummer. Good for you soldiering onto your massive load of laundry! I’m feeling pretty good today and have been outdoors a few times. Tomorrow will be a different story with weather coming in…


  10. Five whole days of sunshine with nary a cloud in the sky. Everything popped up out of the ground and grew at least a meter, including the lawn. Got the lawn mowed … and now it’s raining and cold again. Gotta love this brave new world. 😀


  11. In the last three weeks we have gone from 70 degrees and sunny to 40 degrees and snowing to 80 degrees and sunny to 50 degrees and cloudy to 60 degrees and raining to 75 degrees and sunny again. My allergies are killing me and I can’t wait for the weather to stabilize.


  12. It is amazing how those first warm days bring out the youthful thoughts in our mind. Operative phrase here is “thoughts in our mind.” Then we foolishly try to execute those thoughts with our musculoskeletal system. As Shakespeare would say: “Ay, dear Susie, there’s the rub!” Use the Ben-gay liberally, I just bought a few shares.


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