Astrological or Chinese Horoscope? I did the work for you!

Every year since I was a kid, I’ve perused my astrological horoscope. Then, I read my 2012 prediction. It was waaaay less than stellar. That’s when I discovered a back-up plan made for optimists like me. I checked out my Chinese horoscope. It was so much better!

Illustration by Malcalves

The Chinese year of the Rat began on Saturday, January 25, 2020. Apparently, the rat is extremely lucky for almost everyone this year. Yeah us! And it’s a metal rat. Don’t ask. I have no idea.

Starting with Aries, I’m summing up all the astrological prognostications in my own words. The idea is to save you some time in deciding which horoscope to embrace this year. You’ll know whether to stick with your astrological forecast or to click to your Chinese horoscope for better results. Most of them are pretty good, but two of them are straight-up grim. *gulp*

Here goes!

For Aries (March 21 – April 20), Mars keeps our fire burning all year round. We (I was born on April 11), are supposed to kill it in contests, especially in April. Haters are on notice to stand down. Of course, there’s a flip side. There’s some dude called a wounded Chiron that is supposed to get under our skin and mess with our heads until July. He could cause us to waffle in wondering about our purpose in life. I wouldn’t think the wounded little dude will throw us too much shade since we’ll be winning all of those prizes. Anyway, the chafing Chiron begins to slip away from our optimistic selves after July.  I would call this a dynamite year full of high energy and achievements. Cool!

Dude! Taurus. (April 21 – May 21) Wow. I thought Aries had it good. You’re all about Venus, goddess of love and money. It seems as though you’ll have plenty of both this year. June will make you stutter step as you ponder which is more important. Pleasure and passion are your life’s blood. You will work hard then play harder. Lots of gorgeous luxuries will come your way. Whoa! Check it out for yourself.

So sorry, Gemini! (May 22 – June 21) You should definitely check out your Chinese horoscope.

Your year could be filled with miscommunication. You’re run by the planet Mercury and it’s going retrograde from February 6 to March 9, June 17 to July 11, and again from October 13 to November 7. You should also be aware of hiccups in commuting. Wear a helmet!

BUT, you’ll be especially perceptive from late May until the end of June and fine-tuned into your siblings, so reach out. Lastly, you’re supposed to watch for health issues and stomach problems in the fall. Geez. Here are the deets.

Moody Cancer (June 22 – July 22), is ruled by the roller-coasting moon. You’ll be up and down so pay attention to the full and the waning moons. You’ll know where your moodiness is coming from, which will help a ton. There will be chances to heal relationships as long as you don’t slip back into old role-playing.

June will give you a second chance to re-align and start over by tossing out what doesn’t serve you. You will reflect on the people in your life who have come and gone. Clean house and move forward. This is the time for lots of self-care so you can take care of others. Take a spa day. It’s all about you!

Leo the attentions seeking lion. (July 23 – August 22) Who knew? The sun is in your sign so you’ll be motivated by accomplishment instead of ego. Nice! That changes in July when you become the life of the party. Go for it! We all need Leos.

That stinkin’ Chiron that will torment my sign, Aries, will show up at your house and give you the “who am I?” paranoia in July. Give that second-guessing fishy-smelling house guest the heave-ho. That’s my plan anyway. A pretty great year, overall, I’d say!

Virgo. (August 23 – September 23) It’s a mind and body year. What else is there? You start off in Mercury but it has an optimistic effect. Nice! You’ll be open-minded and in a party mood.

Like Gemini, you’ll be affected by Mercury when it goes retrograde too, (see dates above) but your optimism will help to keep your head above the choppy waters. You can do it!

The end of summer will be the perfect time to Marie Kondo your life. Your friends and family may get swept up in your organization and could get motivated too! Check up on health in the fall. All in all, a pretty dang good forecast!

Libra. (September 24 – October 23) You’re all about the love. Lot’s of love! Peace is paramount. It’s not until June that you will snap out of it and consider some of the haters in your life. Don’t worry. You’ll work it out. You’ll become our beauty idol in September when we’ll recognize your beautiful heart as well. In the fall, you’ll be challenged by the desire for fairness. Don’t sweat the small stuff. A short and sweet horoscope!

Scorpio. (October 24 – November 22) Confidence rules, everyone else drools. Whoa! This is the year to get what you want. Watch out in June when confidence may turn into self-absorption. Reinvention may be part of your plan but it’s all up to you. Your confidence becomes intense in October and November when your personality becomes magnetic. Perfect timing to desire intimate relationships. You may become secretive and selective with whom you spend your time. Sounds like celebrity status to me!

Sagittarius. (November 23 – December 21) This year is all about making luck happen by working hard toward your goals. From May to Mid-September you might decide you’re on the wrong road to success. Change lanes and take the high road. You can do it!

So, you’re the sign that has the gift of gab and would make a great travel blogger. Nice! But your sign is also being affected by Mercury in retrograde, (see Gemini for dates). Watch out for delays and messed up travel plans. Trust your impulses. They’ll get you to your destination. November and December will fill you with all kinds of fun and fulfilling adventure with lots of new and interesting people and places. I would buy some comfortable shoes. LOL! Here are the details.

Whoa! Capricorn! (December 22 – January 20) You need to hyperfocus on your goals and your hard work will take you to amazing heights this year. You’ll make great strides if you focus on what’s important to you. This is the year to discover your ultimate purpose in life. That stinking Chiron must be hanging out waaaaay far away from your sign. LOL! Saturn goes into retrograde in May. You’ll want to reflect on what’s not working so you can start over. You’re such a hard worker. You’ll be a social butterfly in December and January. More details here.

Oh, man. Aquarius. (January 21 – February 19) Read your horoscope at your own risk. Better yet, don’t read it at all. You definitely want to check out your Chinese prediction.

Conservative Taurus and experimental Uranus duke it out in your house, big time, causing all kinds of breakage and mixed emotions. Battles, both intellectual and internal will be fought alongside rebellions of all kinds. They’ll have you reeling like the debate over Star Wars characters. Hold steady. There will be room for repair and redemption. Since you like predictability, buckle your seat belt for a rough and wild year!

Pisces. (February 20-March 20) Neptune is at the helm so this is your year to dream big. Trust your intuition and subconscious to focus on what you truly want. From June until November, reality will creep into your dreams. No worries. Your practical side will enable a soft landing. You’re creative and romantic and love your quiet time to contemplate your dreams, so revel in it next spring. It sounds like a great year!

The Astrological Clock in Prague.

Check out the links to the original astrological horoscope so you can glean the details. I put them in my own words, obviously.

If you don’t like your 2020 astrological prediction, don’t worry. The Chinese horoscope for rat predicts a “strong, prosperous, and lucky year for almost all Chinese zodiac signs.”
Definitely click on the link above. Then, page down to find the year you were born and discover your Chinese animal. Then check out your 2020 Chinese zodiac prediction. Between your astrological and Chinese horoscope, I’m sure it will be a most excellent year for you. Good luck!

Do you read your horoscope? Did you read them as a kid? Have you ever checked out your Chinese horoscope? Do you believe them?

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