Showing off My Tattooed Sleeves while Social Distancing!

LOL! Okay, so I don’t normally start a blog post with LOL. But this deserves a big LOL. Of course, when anything embarrassing happens to me, or at least would embarrass a normal person, I have to share. Personally, I have very little shame. It all started with a bike ride.

I have been a very good citizen and have stayed home for days in light of the outbreak of coronavirus except for very short trips to the grocery store. That’s has been easy since I’ve been doing the opposite of stockpiling. I buy a few things and head back home again. Now it’s flour that morons are buying in bulk. Just wait until those little moths hatch.

Isolation is nothing out of the ordinary for writers. We live quiet lives in order for our characters to come out and play. Wow. That makes me sound psychotic! Well, I spend a lot of time quietly writing and editing while my characters roll out their scenes in my bedroom. That’s where I’ve been writing lately. I know, but I’m a writer. It’s comfortable, dark, and quiet. Shhh!

BUT, I woke up yesterday morning with waaaaay too much energy. My body must have sensed the oncoming snowstorm in some primitive way. As the day grew longer, the temperature rose. The typical warm before the storm here in Colorado. Unlike other days that precede rapidly falling temperatures, it never became windy.

I had to get some exercise.

I filled my bike’s tires and then had a thought. It was warm enough to take a bike ride without a jacket, but I anticipated the icy wind (that never came), so I headed upstairs to get a longsleeved exercise shirt.

As I walked past the laundry room, I remembered something. I bought fake tattooed sleeves a while back. They were still in the package. Resembling tattooed pantyhose for arms, I slipped them on. Perfect! If the breeze grew sharp or it got too hot, I could roll them up or down.

I straddled my bike and headed down the driveway.

That’s when I saw a man walking past with his wife. He took a doubletake. I figured it was because of the sleeves. I decided that if he said something like, “Nice sleeves!” I would go along with it. Why not? They are!

Our driveway is lined with humungous skyrocket junipers. I didn’t see him until I rode out onto the street. He was walking backward, staring at me.

I laughed all the way, well, most of the way to Coot Lake. I road by a lot of walkers and bikers out in isolation, practicing social distancing with their friends. Ahem.

Did I know the neighbor? Nope. Am I afraid of the gossip? Ha! Not at all.

This was my public service contribution to steer the conversation away from coronavirus. Everyone I passed yesterday was talking about it, except for the kids who walked by me while I drank my water. Their jaws hung open while they stared at me wide-eyed. LOL!

My sleeves are pretty garish and realistic, don’t you think?

Will I wear them again? Sure! They kept my arms warm. Why buy biking sleeves for the same purpose?

And I love the silliness of them.

Here’s the video! I have the inflection of someone with juicy gossip. Hilarious.

Thought you might need a giggle during an intense, surreal, and terrifying week.

I smile every time I think about it!

Have you enjoyed any comic relief during the crisis? I laughed out loud yesterday when I read the Utah Earthquake Twitter feed. Have you been outside? Are you still exercising or finding it hard to motivate to do much of anything?