The 7 Stages of Dance Performance Anxiety with a Flash Mob Twist

When Kelly asked if I’d like to perform a mother-son dance at his wedding, I answered with an exuberant hell yes but didn’t anticipate the 7 Stages of Dance Performance Anxiety.

Celebrating my birthday with family kicked off a solid week of parties. My son, Kelly, married Leksy Wolk the following weekend. The frosting on the wedding cake? Boulder finally broke its five-month snow cycle and hit eighty degrees.

By the way, this wasn’t your average wedding. Kelly is a music producer known as, Chuck Shadow, so after the welcome party, he headlined a show in Denver. Chuck also played his music at the wedding after-party. Don’t worry. I stocked up on Red Bull. It worked wonders at the Two Jews and a Blond party years ago.

If you have followed my blog for a while, you might remember that I love to dance. I have no shame, which is crucial. I have often included videos of my interpretive moves with my blog parties and posts. Be sure to watch our rendition below!

After my son asked if I would like to do a Mother-Son dance at the wedding, I flew out of my chair, scrolled through videos, and found the perfect song. Can you guess? Do you remember my obsession with a particular family? I couldn’t wait until the wedding!

But you know me. I had to add something. Something special. Something unique like a flash mob, where we could easily run into each other after very little practice. Something else to worry about. Let’s do it!

Then reality hit me right between my beady eyes. I’m a dancer but have never performed in any way unless you count cheerleading during my sophomore year in high school. Even so, I thought I would nail the choreography right away. Pshhh.

When I committed to the song, I didn’t anticipate performance anxiety. As the weeks progressed, so did the stages.

The 7 Stages of Dance Performance Anxiety:

• The Cognitive Learning Stage – This is not recommended and probably slowed my progress. I wrote two pages of notes, thinking it would help to break down the choreography. Instead, it stuffed my puny brain with needless information. I would have been better off relying on muscle memory. Mistakes were made.

• Watching the YouTube Video Tutorial on Repeat Stage – This viral recording by Jade Lavinia had over a million views when I started. Now it has another 500,000, most of them from me.

• The Earworm Stage – This stage follows in lockstep with the Repeat Stage. I still wake up every morning with the first few bars of the song in my head.

• The “For God’s Sake, Get Through the Song Without Making a Mistake!” Stage. This caused all kinds of frustration after I added the third verse and choreographed it. Because what’s the fun in life without challenges?

• The “Why Am I Still Screwing This Up?” Stage. This had a lot to do with practicing it over and over again. It wouldn’t take long until I skipped an entire section. NOTE TO SELF: Rehearsing in loops to exhaustion creates confusion, which leads to bouts of cussing. Hey. I have been known to talk to myself, so that shouldn’t be a surprise.

• Worrying that I Will Blank Out at the Sight of a Crowd Stage. I had nightmares that I walked onto the dance floor and froze. What would I do if I blanked out? Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

• The Withdrawl Stage. I really enjoyed dancing every day and really miss it.

So? WHAT HAPPENED?

See for yourself. Make sure to watch for the FLASH MOB at the end!

Considering we barely practiced together, I was pretty dang proud of the result. Did you love the ending? LOLOLOL! I worried that we would bump into each other.

It was a blast! I didn’t see any faces but plugged into muscle memory and let it rip. The real miracle? I made it through without tripping. YES!

Did I mention that we will celebrate my daughter Courtney’s wedding in July? I predict a lot more dancing ahead.

So what’s next? I’m looking for another viral video, of course. Have any suggestions? Uptown Funk is at the top of my list, but it’s so complicated and super fast.

Do you take center stage at dance parties, or are you the silent toe-tapping observer? Is there a song that always makes you want to dance?